Out of control 16-month old?

Question

My son is 16-months old. He has always been very energetic and has a "vibrant personality". He is driving me crazy lately. I know he is testing me. I can see it in his beady little eyes. He has been pulling my hair, pulling the dogs tails and pulling plugs out of outlets. I tried telling him no and redirecting his attention. I tried smacking his hands when he messed with the outlets because even though I don't agree with smacking, I figured that was better than getting shocked. Well, apparently he likes getting his hands slapped because he laughed and seemed to really enjoy it. I was told by my pediatritian that it was too early for time out, but yesterday we started with that because I don't know what else to do. I am open to any suggestions. At this point I really don't care if you all say I am a terrible mother who can't get her child under control. I am just looking for a little something that I can use. I really want him to start to listen to me.

He even pushes chairs over to the counter so he can get up on the counter.

All of the answers were just great! Elena, apparently you have no children.

Answer 1

*giggle* "I can see it in his beady little eyes"

I'm sympathizing... My 18 month old daughter has been going through the terror-baby stage for a couple of months now. My solution? Play pen. Yep. I know people hate play pens but....

I guess it sort of works like a baby time-out for us. When she's playing nicely and not beating up the dogs or heading for electrical outlets then she's free! I'll do the redirecting if necessary... But as soon as things get totally out of hand then she goes back to her play pen to relax. Yes she screamed at first but now she's sort of resigned to it.. and actually starting to behave a bit more when I ask if it's time for the play pen.

I only use it for maybe 10 minutes at a time unless she's napping, of course.... And when she's in hyper mode at least I know she'll be safe.

We did the same with all of our kids until they really were old enough to understand a traditional time-out... and they all survived (and we did too)

Good luck! He sounds like lots of fun. :)

Answer 2

I do not agree with any of the answers I read so far. A 16 month old should not be "out of control". If this child is laughing at you, pushing chairs over, etc, time out will not work. You cannot be his buddy. You need to use the old tough love theory. If this doesn't work, maybe have someone else observe his behavior. It could be something you cannot control. I have seen children that were legitimetly hyperactive, or ADHD. There are always those possibilities to consider.
None of this makes you a terrible mother...but definitely get it under control. I am 50 years old, and I raised 3 kids. Iam now raising 2 grandchildren. I know what I have always done if a child hit me...

Answer 3

I am a mother of almost 10 year olds a 4 year old and a 18 month old. Just as I thought I had seen it all here come terror 4. I feel ur pain. Mines is in the fridge as we speak...I dont think there is anything u can do to make them stop but to keep doing as u are time outs eventually they get to them they just have to grasp the concept. I have tried the slap on the hand and three out of my kids have turned around and laughed at me. One that has worked on all is the taking away of something they love. If they did something they werent suppose to I would take there favorite stuffed animal away and put it on time out(Out of all the things I think that is the best that has worked). Just remember u are not a bad mother, to stay patient(even if u just want to run away and climb up on a tree to die), and that he or she is curious after all. What I do is try to show them while touching stuff why they can't touch. For example dont play with doors because u can hurt urself I take the door pretend to shut on my fingers and pretend to cry so that it gets his attention and he wonders why. As for the sockets I have no ideas. Hope u can find some comfort

Answer 4

i dont think u are a terrible mother,16 yr.olds are tough!1st of all,the less u have to say no,the better. it is his job to get into everything. u might need to look for different outlet covers that he cant play with. i know there are at least 2 different kinds.he is to young for time out,he isnt misbehaving on purpose. keep trying to redirect him. he will probaly keep trying to do what he wants to do but u keep stopping him. does he have enough interesting toys to play with? it sounds like he is really active, try to let him have a lot of running around time outside. if it is too cold then find a indoor playground to play at. get him some big cardboard blocks, a small slide, a big ball different things he can use indoors. when he pulls the dogs tail,say"no" and show him how to be gentle. take a step back and know he is not doing this to tortur u. this is just were he is developmentally. just childproof as best u can and try to let him explore,but safely. good luck!if u are consistent with redirecting and being firm then this stage shoud pass.

Answer 5

He's a boy and yes he is testing his limits. Time out in a playpen/crib is a good idea. But - time outs at their age is about 5 minutes. However, if he is plopped in a playpen often enough for doing stuff he shouldn't, he'll learn. You must be consistant though so the punishment is the same each and every time.

About the chairs....he's just being curious. He wants to see what's up on those counters. Include him in when making cookies, cake etc.

When my kids were that age I put them in their highchair with a mound of shaving cream in front of them. They had a riot - I had a mess to clean up - but it gave me a few minutes peace.

Answer 6

I have a 2 yr. old who does the samething. Patience is the key here. Don't show him your loss of control. All you can do is remove him from the object & with a stern voice tell him NO. Yours is just a baby. They get frusterated because they can't talk or express themselves & 16 mos. He is probably just trying to get your attention from the sounds of it. Espscially if he is laughing when you smack his hand (I hope your not smacking it too hard) Could he be hungry? TIRED???? bored? Bring him outside & play with him. He'd be all worn out after this) Stay calm this is normal behavior. Trust me.

Answer 7

You're NOT a terrible mother, you are obviously concerned by coming on here and asking questions about your child, many mothers wouldn't bother.

Anyway, give time outs. It may the only thing that works.
Don't lose it in front of him, although I do it everyday, it is gives them the most satisfaction to see you lose your mind and it fuels their devious behavior. Stay in control and calmy put him in time out. If he won't stay on a step or a seat just strap him into his high chair - nothing wrong with that.

Answer 8

I found that my toddler also knows what things will push my buttons, and does them when he is bored and wants my attention. I usually try to preempt his little episodes by giving him at least 15 minutes of uninterrupted attention (storytime, playing together) every hour or so, so he knows that he has my attention. I also try to reinforce his positive behaviors - I've heard it described as "catch them being good". So when he puts his toy away or pretends to clean the table I make a big deal of telling him how well he is doing. Hope this helps.

Answer 9

You just have an energetic boy who needs lots of love and supervision. Try to get him interested in a game you can play with him when he is acting out. You need to put his attention to positive things to get him away from the harmful actions. It requires your time and energy but he will eventually outgrow this stage when his attention span is more mature. Give him lots of hugs,kisses and pattycakes. Good luck.

Answer 10

If you can't control one 16-month-old...I haven't heard such a thing till now,maybe you should join some parenting classes.Buy the book "Positive Discipline for the First Three Years" by Jane Nelsen.It will help you a lot.Here is the site if you wanna check it.

http://positivediscipline.com/