is it bad that i want a baby?

Question

ok ok i know it sounds a little silly im only 16 but very mature for my age i have a job,savings account and i live with my fiance' we have a apartment together.in my life i had to grow up fastbecause i really had no choice(no parents really).i think im doing pretty good for my age and stuff.if you look at my recently asked questions i thought that i was pregnant.but it turns out im not.it made me quite sad.actually really sad.i think that your put on earth for a reason.i think my reason is to be a wonderful mom because my mom wasnt to me?am i thinking the wrong way.should i not be wanting a baby?am i really to young?everyone needs a little advise in life and i would greatly appriaciate it.thanks alot
~missy~

Answer 1

It is not bad that you want a baby at all. There is not an age where you are too young or too old to have a baby.
If you think you are ready go for it but not until you are absolutely positively sure you want a baby. I am 15 and I am 8 months pregnant and the father left me and now I am miserable. I have not told my parents yet. But if you really want a baby try and I am sure you will be a Fantastic mother like I hope I will. If you need someone to talk to my email is [e-mail] and do not hesitate to email me. I would love to hear from you!

Answer 2

I think it's great to want a baby, but I think it would be even better if you gave yourself some time to settle into this premature adulthood you've been thrown into first. You're only 16 and children are a huge committment - they are forever and a lot of hard work.

Why not keep doing what you're doing - work, live with the fiance, get married, go on a honeymoon, get a bigger-better job, stay married for a year or so and then see how things are going.

I hate to be a bummer, but you are not even an adult yourself yet - that does not happen until you are 18. You can't vote, drive after dark without a fully licensed driver in the car - heck, you're a candidate to be a foster child until you're 18. You may be living an adult type of a life, but you are still a child - psychologically and in the eyes of the law.

If you want to be that really great mother to a baby, then at least make sure you are old enough to do it. Don't grow up any faster than you already have.

Good luck to you

Answer 3

It's natural that you have a maternal instinct already -- even at such a young age. You're a woman and our bodies, with all their raging hormones and changes, are designed to make us WANT to create life. Plus, babies are just so darn CUTE and snuggly, how could we NOT want that??? Even little girls play "mommy" with their baby dolls all the time because it's just a part of our makeup as humans to want and need to care for babies.

But you have SOOO much time!!! ANd it sounds like you are on a really great track... your own place, a job, a savings. But have you finished high school yet? How would you be able to keep a job and go to school and raise a baby at the same time? It would not be easy, that much I know. And you say you really have no parents of your own, so who would watch the baby while you are in school all day and working at night? If you have no support system in your life, you may end up having to pay high costs for daycare -- and then there goes that savings account on top of everything else.

My advice is to wait until you are at least out of school, and then get married to that wonderful fiance of yours. Continue to college, or to work and save up a nest egg... and you'll be a mommy when the time is right.

Answer 4

I think it's very possible to feel the call to be a mother when you are young. I knew from a very early age that I wanted to be a wife and mother (though I went through a stage of being unsure about all that when I was in my late teens and early 20s).

It is important to remember that EVERY child deserves to be brought into the world in a loving, stable 2 parent home by 2 parents who want him/her. It doesn't always happen this way, of course, but children DO deserve this. It isn't fair to deliberately give them less.

I don't think age is the only indicator of maturity nor do I think money is the end all be all of good parenting. However, unless you now have all that you believe it is right to offer a child, you should wait.

Children are incredible blessings, but they are also the biggest responsibility and hardest work you'll ever do in your life. You need to be in the right place in your life to be able to welcome them properly. Once you have children, they are yours for life.

There will be time for you to have children, even if you have children young. I do believe you should reach your educational goals and find a loving, supportive spouse first. It is very necessary to have a proper support network for yourself. Parenting is just so immense. Let yourself grow a little more before you try to push yourself into that journey.

Answer 5

I know a couple of women who had their first children at 16, although not by choice. And it is HARD!

If you really want to have a baby so badly, ask yourself some really important questions first like:
- how would you provide for it? (you are working now, but what do you plan to do afterwards?)
- do you have career goals? (is your job just a job, or do you hope to go to school for a career)
- Do you care if the father is in your and the baby's life? (sadly, many young dads end up leaving early, and don't stay too involved) If not, how do you plan on doing it alone? Do you have supports set up and in place?
- Could you give up almost every ounce of privacy and time to yourself that you have? (a baby is VERY demanding, time consuming and even frustrating at times. It is no longer about you, what you want, when you want, your schedule. Your baby is your new boss, and you have to shape your entire life around that)

You ARE still young, and yes, you are put on this earth for a reason and if you feel that it is to procreate, I think that's excellent. But there is alot of time to do that. Experience your life, enjoy your teenage years, have some fun, meet some guys, fall in love, but don't rely only on how mature you think you are to make this decision.

I'm not saying you'd be a bad mother, the women I know who had kids young are excellent mothers, but they've had to sacrifice alot and missed out on alot of things that they'd wished they could've done.

Answer 6

Well, I don't know you personally, so i can't judge you. But i will say that I am 21 and pregnant for the first time. I feel like this is way too early for me, even though I have always wanted to have babies and i also have been very mature and living on my own since i was 17.

what you have to think about it PAYING for the baby. I'm not done with school and it is killing me. I want to have a good career, not a job, to provide for my baby. If your fiance makes good money - that is great! But don't rely on him.... you never know how things can go....

do you have a high school diploma yet? I would think about what you want to do with your life and if a baby HONESTLY will slow you down to get there. try to get as much done in your life as you possibly can before bringing another life into yours.

Hope I helped!!!

Answer 7

Of course it's not bad for you to want a baby. The whole question is timing here.

16 is young. But if your relationship is serious (I'd consider marriage first) and you're sure he's the right guy, if your job is solid enough and his is too, enough to support the three of you (bigger appartment, baby clothes, baby food, furniture, etc...), why not?

Just consider that you're only young once.

When you have a baby everything changes. You won't be able to go out with your fiance for dinner and a movie without paying a babysitter, you'll have to stay up late, maybe even quit your job for awhile or be ready to pay a nanny, you'll have to be responsible 100% of the time. Lets not even mention parties, or studies (you could always finish high-school and go to college).

You'll still be able to have a baby in your 20s, in your 30s (I wouldn't recommend waiting til your 40s though if you can avoid it). But you'll only be a teen once :)

Think about it.

Answer 8

At 16 no matter how mature you feel you are, you're not ready to have a child. And to be completely honest, it wouldn't be selfish and unfair for you to bring a child into the world if you're not ready. You have all the time in the world to be a good mother. And you honestly have no idea how much work or how hard it is to raise children especially when you're working too. Try waiting until you're at least a legal adult. Or finish school first? You gotta be happy with yourself before you can be a good mother, and not just wanting something to fill a void for you.

Answer 9

Yeah I felt the exact same way.. No it's not wrong that you want a baby cuz I wanted one too at your age. I'm about to turn 18 and i'm going to have my first baby and i'm really excited about it. There's really no right age when to have a baby cuz your never ready for it.. NEVER! and when the time is right god will bless you with a child. Me and my man had been trying to get pregnant since I was 16 and for some reason my period would always come every month.. I was actually getting scared cuz I was starting to think that I couldn't have and babies. I was having unprotected sex for 2 years and still nothing, but then finally god blessed me with a child for some reason at this time. So when the time is right it'll happen, and remember you'll never be ready for a baby. :)

Answer 10

Definitly wait. Im 28 and just had my first child, and its a lot harder then you think. The cost to raise a child is so much, diapers, formula, clothing, nothing is cheap these days. Daycare is very expensive. Definitly don't have children till your done school, and financially able to support a child. Your young still, you have lots of time to be a mother. Enjoy your childhood first. Like I said Im 28 and a first time mom, and sometimes I wonder if I should of waited longer. Don't rush things, you have lots of time. Enjoy your life with your fiance, spend time together, grow your relationship, cause after you have a baby, your time alone together is slim to none, and you definitly will miss that.