I have been dating my boyfriend for over two years now and i really love him. He is 36 and i am 23. He thinks im attractive and i dont think im that bad myself. I have a couple guys that want to be with me but i want to be with him. my problem is that no matter how much i try to please him, he's constantly checking out other girls and looking at naked chicks on the computer. It bothers me because i try to spice up our relationship in bed. I try diff. things and try to always look good for him. I buy outfits for us to play with but it bothers me that i do all this so that he wont have a need to check other girls out. but he still does. Is there a problem with me? is this normal? y does he do this? and i cant tell him it bothers me because he says he's 36 and shouldnt be told what to do. HELP! it's really bothering me!
2007-02-15 05:01:23 · 52 answers · asked by Yankees Fan 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I would say it's fairly normal for a guy that age to do it. However your problem is he thinks that because he is so much older than you he knows it all. Quote:and i cant tell him it bothers me because he says he's 36 and shouldn't be told what to do"End quote. He should be willing to listen to you and address your concerns. If he is not listening to you now over something this simple, think what will happen if a complex decision has to be made. He won't listen to you at all. Plus it sounds like you are making all the effort in this relationship. Relationships should be equal, both partners giving and receiving openly and willingly. There should be open and honest communication in a relationship, where each partner is willing to sit down and listen to the other partners concerns, no matter how trivial or silly they may think they are. In a fairly serious relationship decisions are made together, yes one person usually ends up being the more responsible one, but that is how it should be. A good partner balances you, I don't how or why, but it seems to work out that way. Where you are weak they are strong and vice versa. I myself wouldn't stay in a relationship where I am making all the effort, and my S.O. won't listen to me.
2007-02-15 05:22:44 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is just fine. We guys love to see. Period. Is in our nature.
Some guys will be just ok after having a girlfriend/lover/wife, but others will still want to see more. As long is just looking, it should be fine. If he starts cheating, then there is a problem unless you don’t mind (I really doubt that).
I’m a little jealous of your boyfriend cause you actually try to please him a lot. My wife doesn’t do that too often (to get outfits, or walk in lingerie in the house, etc, etc). I do check other girls when I see them. But so does my wife when she sees a “hot guy” like she calls them. So what? We don’t cheat, so we are fine.
If your boyfriend is really into the visual stuff, then try bringing a digital camera to the relation. Take many pictures of you in different outfits; even let him take pics of you while having sex with him. And let him have them saved in his computer. I bet one day you will find him looking at those, and maybe having some fun “solo” with himself if you know what I mean.
But the main thing is to actually talk to him. It doesn’t matter if he is 36 or 56. You are with him, and you can always tell him what you like and what you don’t. Maybe he thinks you are ok with him looking around all the time.
Find out what he likes, and what he doesn’t like, and let him know the same about you. Maybe you two can come up with an “even” solution where both of you can be happy. Maybe you can even show him erotic pics, and if he likes them, the next time you become the girl in the pic, and let him have his fantasy.
Communication is essential, after that, is all up to your imagination to have fun and be happy in your relation.
2007-02-15 05:15:39 · answer #2 · answered by Dan D 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I really think that he is not for you and does not deserve you at all. I suspect also he cheates on you. Whatever, he shows no respect for you and is being abusing and exploiting you. He may be 36 in books, but his behaviour hardly supports his age.
Leave the dude and find a man of your age or any man who can really appreciate you and your efforts.
You sound a very good girl who a lot of men would die to have!
All the best!/
2007-02-15 05:10:29 · answer #3 · answered by Ebby 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it is totally normal for a guy to check out other girls. I have been married for two years and I still look at naked chicks on the net. It always bothered my wife when we were dating but I always reassured her that she is the most gorgeous girl ever. that just what guys do is check out hot chicks we can't help it.
2007-02-15 05:08:21 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He was single and 36, for a reason. He's a Player. He was hoping that your age, would keep you from seeing that. Go find someone that has Your Heart. Not your Body! The Body, should be an Emotion of the Love. Not a Reward or justification. Oh yeah! Go Sox!
2007-02-15 05:08:15 · answer #5 · answered by Goggles 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all why are you after a guy who is having such an age difference with you? i dont think he cares about you or your feelings as much as you do for his. he is old does not mean that he can do what ever he wants withuot respecting your openions and wishes. you are not his slave you are his partner. And relationship without mutual respect sux.
You are worried so much coz you cannot afford to lose him. But think about one thing. Is it the same about him. If he is trying other women i think he is looking for someone better than you. And if he finds snyone he might just kick you out. You are young. Try someone who really loves you instead of running after a guy who is running after something else.
2007-02-15 05:11:29 · answer #6 · answered by Lord Of Lust 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hey..i kno u need an answer from a guy..but i just couldnt help it, i wanted 2 tell u this..
u said few guys wanted 2 be with u, u admitt ur not that bad..i really believe that every grl is beautifull n smart in a way,n every grl needs 2 b soooo loved n told shes beuatifull n loveable n smart every single day..she needs protections, she shouldnt be left with no answers..wondering whether he luvs her or not, wonder if she's done anythin wrong, or even wonder if she's good enough for him..thats not right karina ...run away!!!
ur still 23 n hot....but still he's lookin at other grls..then what happens when u r 40 or even 30...he might just walk out the door n look for hot young grls...u need some1 to love u fr who u r..respects u..ADORE U! y not..???dont u desrve it?!!!
2007-02-15 05:13:30 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Why are you asking a male only?! Are you nuts? Look, if it bothers you and he doesn't respect that then he doesn't respect you! That is the bottom line in the matter. You make the choice do you want to be with a man that does not respect you or not. It isn't a matter of you telling him what to do or not to do here...don't let him twist this around and that is exactly what he is doing..
2007-02-15 05:07:07 · answer #8 · answered by LM 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's normal. guys can be in a commited loving relationship remain 100% faithful and still like to look at other women. Theres nothing wrong with it. It's how were wired in the brain. We can't help it. It's when a guy decides to take it from saying to himself "damn that chick is hot" to deciding "i'm going to get me some of that hot chick, be damned to what my girlfriend says" there is a big thick line between those two schools of thought. If he's remaining faitful to you than i would say let it be. Or maybe you could start telling him all about other guys you find attractive, but be careful with that one as it could blow up in your face.
2007-02-15 05:08:27 · answer #9 · answered by grasshopper 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Ok first off, all guys look as long as they don't act then life is good. Its normal for guys to look, you don't have a picture so I can't tell how good looking you are, but you certainly seem creative with outfits and what not. If we is always telling you that he is 36 and can't be told what to do then show him you can. Tie him up one day, the you sit on the computer and look at porn. Make sure you tease him good, ask him if he likes it. Maybe rub your foot teasingly into his crotch but don't let him off until YOU are the one that he is begging for (might help you feel a little more wanted too).
2007-02-15 05:07:09 · answer #10 · answered by tiemetight814 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋