my guy bought me a teddy bear, candy,rose, card, balloon, and a ring. am i being selfish for not liking it?

Question

he didn't sign the card or put my name on it, the rose was half dead, he bought me some dark chocolate he has never seen me eat that before. should i appreciate that he bought it or do i have the right to be upset cause he did'nt put any thought into.

Answer 1

You're being selfish. He bought you a teddy bear, a rose, a card, a balloon, and a ring; and you're upset because the rose wasn't pretty enough, the chocolate wasn't your favorite, and he didn't sign the card (like you wouldn't know who it was from)? Was anything wrong with the teddy bear, balloon, and jewelry?

BTW, running around to gather that much stuff involves a lot of thought, and the fact that the rose was half dead means he bought it a few days BEFORE valentines day- so he was trying to think ahead. Besides, it was all a gift- did he actually OWE you anything?

Answer 2

You have the right to be upset. It's nice that he tried to do something for you, but you're right he didn't put any thought into it. It could be that he waited until the last minute, which explains the half-dead rose (all the nice ones were sold). Sounds like he went to the grocery store on his way to see you and picked up a few things. You said he bought you a ring. Is it a nice one that he put thought into or just some random thing that isn't even your style? Don't be upset about the chocolate--guys just buy candy in a pretty box and think it's all the same. He probably just didn't know which one to get. He should've signed the card though.

Answer 3

There is an old motto in play here: "It is not the gift, but the thought that counts"

I read these gifts in two ways:

1) He was trying to get you something for Valentines day but was not sure what you would like, so he went out and bought all the traditional stuff (flowers, candy, jewely, stuff toy, card) hoping you would at least like one or more of these things.

2) He waited too long to buy the gifts, and then picked up whatever he could find, including a half-dead flower, chocolates that you never eat, and a card that he forgot to sign.

I can't tell you which one of these is the correct scenario (or if even either one was correct). You would have to examine your boyfriend's trends and think about it yourself.

From what it looks like to me, at least he was trying, although I really would have signed the card and put a short note or a few wods of my own in there. I think you should give him the credit, especially if you love him.

And Valentines day does go both ways...Did you remember to get him a little something? If so how much thought went into it?

However, you are "upset" because you think that he doesn't really take you seriously, or perhaps he is having a problem because he can't seem to please you. This is a sign of bigger issues you guys need to work out.

By the way, not sure why this was posted in the Toddler and Preschool section - Is your boyfriend still potty training? If so, I would definitely give him credit because it is hard for preschoolers to think of the right gift for their girlfriends :-)

Answer 4

I think the thought was there, although he didn't put an entirely huge amount of effort into it.

Things to consider:
- maybe he didn't have pen because he bought the card last minute
- maybe the rose was half dead because it got too cold from the store to the house
- he didn't know you didn't like dark chocolate (come on, how many men really pay attention to what you eat??)
- there was nothing wrong with the balloon
- and you didn't mention anything wrong with the ring

Hey, alot of guys don't get their girlfriends/wives anything for valentines day. Or if they get a card, they pick the first one off the rack and a dozen roses because it's the easiest thing to do.

Remember there are 3 sides to every story, and even if you weren't as impressed with the things he got you, he did try to do something for you.

Answer 5

You have every right to be upset. That it's the thought that counts crap is not always true. He obviously didn't think when he brought you the chocolate and half dead roses; are you kidding... He's never seen you eat them so no thought about YOU was put into it. My boyfriends buy things that I would never buy, eat, watch all that and we've been together for 3yrs. Sometimes I think it's just men in general. When I buy gifts for him I won't even get it unless I know for sure he's going to love it and I'm so excited for him to open it cause I know he will. For the past 3yrs my boyfriend has given me 2 rings and 2 bracelets for Valentine's Day. This year I tried to drop hints a month before. I wanted and pod or even a necklace or a couples massage, but what did I get a bracelet. There was absolutely no thought of what I would like. So you're not the only one. You can be upset cause I am, but how to say it I'm not sure....

Answer 6

When he BOUGHT the rose it probably wasn't half dead. When he bought the card he probably put it directly in the envelope so they would stay together and he forgot he hadn't signed it. Since he was giving it to you directly he probably saw no reason to put your name on the front of the envelope. As for the dark chocolate, he most likely thought you would like it. As far as guys are concerned chocolate is chocolate, period.....end of sentence. The balloon was a sweet touch. And a RING! Unless it came from a bubble gum machine, it WAS thought out.

You have a "right" to feel any way you want to feel, but I do think you're being childish, selfish, AND unappreciative.

Truthfully, most guys aren't really into Valentines Day. Most of them feel it's a female holiday devised by Hallmark. They do, however, try to do something special for their significant other because if they don't she won't speak to them, and it just makes life easier. But all the males I know are truly thankful when it's over.

Give him a break, and cut him some slack.

Answer 7

He could have done better BUT at least he did something. Imagine how you would feel if he showed up with nothing at all?

You complained about the rose and the candy (could have been that there was not much left to choose from at the store or he had already spent a bunch of money on the bear, balloon, candy and ring). but what about ALL OF THE OTHER STUFF?????
As for the card, my husband is lousy in the card department - he too is guilty of having given me unsigned cards. But he cooks me dinners, pays the bills and works his butt off so I can stay home and raise our son. Could he do better? Sure. But I definitely appreciate the things he gets right a lot.

Yes, you're being selfish.

Answer 8

My boyfriend doesn't even recognize Valentine's Day and guess what... I've never been happier!! He was up front about it when we first met though. Look, he's not a mind reader... he's a guy. How was he supposed to know exactly what you wanted?? And why are you letting society keep you from being happy?? I mean, society says that he has to get you a perfect gift on the "Most Romantic Day Of The Year" and if he doesn't read your mind then you should get mad... It's totally stupid in my book. And just a little hint... guys don't pay attention to what they've seen you eat or not eat... buying and giving the card to you was effort enough from him without having to write your or his names in it when it's totally obvious who it's to and who it's from. I would be nice about it and let him know that I wasn't really a big fan of dark chocolate so that he will know for next time, hang the rose up upside down so it will dry out and you can keep it instead of the petals falling off, get over yourself with the whole "he didn't put my name in the card or sign it", and enjoy the rest of your presents... don't get me wrong, I might have been a little bummed myself if it were me but I would also say to myself... "Look, he tried to make Valentine's Day good for you and that is good enough"... You know, it's girls like you that make things hard for girls like me who don't have to have everything "perfect"... we know $hit happens and we deal with it without getting all upset and boo-hooing and not letting them forget it for years... JUST BE HAPPY YOU HAVE SOMEONE WHO CARES ABOUT YOU... THAT SHOULD BE ENOUGH... AND SCREW ALL THE MATERIAL $HIT

Answer 9

well at first i would have said yes you are being selfish for not liking it. BUT once i read underneath your question then No i dont think you are selfish. How long have you gone out with this guy? If you just started dating him (say less than 3 months) then yes just appreciate the gifts and let him know in a few days that you dont like dark chocolate and mention casually that the flowers are dying and he needs to buy flowers that arent fully opened yet. BUT if you have been going out for more than 3 months he should know you and I would be PISSED if my guy got me almost dead flowers and dark chocolate when he should know better. And he should have signed the card. Is he stupid?

Answer 10

I'd be happy with it.....sheeze....so the card wasn't signed, he spent the time picking it out. Half dead rose, maybe he bought it earlier in the day...roses are fragile/...I've been to weddings where at the end of the 45 minute ceremony they look horrible and they looked great at the beginning.

sounds to me like he put a lot of thought into it....you even got jewlery....he had to take the time to go to the store and put thought into it.....

Chocolate is supposed to be an aferdesiac (sp), maybe he bought it for it's romantic implications.

I do think you are being selfish.....
But then again I've never been into the "things" portion of valentines day...I only ask my hubby for a card...and sometimes he suprises me with a little something extra....guess I'm just not into tangible things like you seem to be.