I am glad that she is serious but it is a little much. She always calls me and texts me which costs alot when u add it up. I just want her to back off a little but i don't know how to tell her.
Help.
2007-02-15 04:46:56 · 21 answers · asked by date doctor 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
tell her you like her and don't want to ruin the relationship but she's getting a little too clingy . remember honesty is the best answer always! good luck
2007-02-15 04:49:58 · answer #1 · answered by callie 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Check out simple behavioral science.
If you respond every time she calls, she doesn't have to call you all that often.
If you ignore her call five times, and then call back,
she knows that six is her lucky number. She'll call six times in one hour, if that's what it takes.
But if you are random about the amount of attempts she has to make to get your attention, then she will call all that much more, because you ahve no clear magic number.
Now, most people do know how to modify this, and not just operate like dogs in cages.
But if a college professor can go from walking all across a room as his normal teaching style, to being locked down into a corner without knowing why by the end of the semester, then I think these things can happen unconsciously, get it?
So, don't make her your stalker.
Just tell her you have bad times, and good times, to talk. And you can't handle the text thing. And she has to pay for all her messages or you will change your number.
Save that last part for the third convo, I'd say.
AND DO WHAT YOU SAY YOU WILL DO.
If you say, hey, I can't get to you during these hours-
then DON'T!
Or you are creating the problem, too.
Good luck.
2007-02-15 12:54:20 · answer #2 · answered by starryeyed 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Believe me, you just need to tell her. If not, it will only get worse, not better. Take it from the financial perspective and explain to her that it really is costing you a lot of money with your cell phone, see if instead of her doing that all the time, maybe you can spend a little more time together or something. You just need to talk to her, and if she doesn't settle down, it would probably be best to break it off, if not it will just continue to drive you crazy...
2007-02-15 12:52:13 · answer #3 · answered by meg 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Alright. Here comes honesty. You sound so much like my boyfriend (I'm clingy too sometimes) but be clear, my boyfriend has never felt like that. Maybe he hasn't expressed his worries like you do but that does not mean you're wrong. I'm giving you the point from a girl who I think likes you so much and is obsessed. The reason she feels like that is perhaps she feels very insecure being with you. Not that you're cheating behind her back but she just happens to love you so much for not losing you. Trust me she can't take it. How frequent does she call you? You need your personal space, that's right. Have you ever asked her why she's being so clingy? Maybe she has not have the chance to be expressive towards you. She feels insecure for sure...reason why? You've got to ask her. And I hope you're not my bf or else I'm answering the wrong person haa. Just kidding.
2007-02-15 12:58:25 · answer #4 · answered by Springboard 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well what you meed to do is tell her that it's costing you alot of money to recieve the text messages that she is sending you and that she needs to calm down by either not sending anymore or by limiting the number that she sends a month. and tell her not to call you until your minutes are free or call u at home, you can always switch to her network or have her switch to yours so that you can be able to call each other for free and also you can get a new text messaging plan, unless u just really tired of her calling and texting you.
2007-02-15 12:52:39 · answer #5 · answered by mimi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her that you need some space. You can get an add on plan to your cell phone that you can get and send so many Text Messages for a set amount per month.
2007-02-15 12:50:50 · answer #6 · answered by Jo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her you need a little space. This needyness is causing stress in your relationship. I just went through that with somebody and I didn't say anything to her. I just broke up with her. It sucked alot cause I really liked her. I just couldn't take what she was doing. Makes me wish I would have said something to her. Especially after a day like yesterday. Valentines Day sucks when you spend it alone.
2007-02-15 12:50:27 · answer #7 · answered by Brandon T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
umm... dont be scared. she loves you. and you have to love her back if you want things to work. just tell her that texting cost a lot and that its ok for text every now and then just not every day. and tell her that you love her and set aside a special time for calling each other. but make sure you explain that you love her and be sweet when you do talk to her or else she might think that you dont like her. good luck
2007-02-15 12:57:45 · answer #8 · answered by summer :] 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She probably just needs reasurance. Explain to her that you want to take things slowly and that she can trust you. Perhaps spend a few evenings with her a week or whatever but make sure you both have free nights to see your mates. Its because she likes you and wants to spend every moment right now with you! If you take it slow you will both be happier in the long run!!
2007-02-15 12:52:22 · answer #9 · answered by katyllou 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm, you could wait until you can't take it anymore and then get really mad at her, which will end your relationship, OR
You could say to her--look, I can't take this anymore! You're running up my bills, and it bothers me. I don't need to talk to you every second--don't take it the wrong way because I really like you. But you must understand that you're constant contact with me is annoying!
If she gets all bent out of shape and breaks up with you, then oh well! At least you won't have to put up with a full inbox anymore!
Good luck!
2007-02-15 13:17:56 · answer #10 · answered by f8_smyled 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋