my insane neighbor came over last night. she pretty much blew my mind. i've known her for maybe 3 weeks and she has already completely opened up to me. i know EVERYTHING about this girl. extremely depressed, suicidal and bulemic just to name a few. so anyways, she starts telling me that she just wants to 'feel good, be loved, be wanted, be held" etc. (her fiance commited suicide 5 mo ago) so she straddles me and starts balling while making out with me. i keep myself from doing anything.. i just kinda hold her.. to comfort her. well next thing i know she is seriously asking me to have sex with her.. to make her 'feel good'. again, i stop myself, reminding her of her state and how its never a good idea to have drunk sex. anyways, long story short, i let her spend the night (nothing happens of course) but she persists on us hooking up.. over and over. soberly, whatever. would hooking up make her even more insane? could it help her get over her dead fiance? thoughts?
2007-02-15 04:42:34 · 29 answers · asked by completely lost 1 in Health ➔ Mental Health
I'd say you did the right thing...she is still very unstable and right now the thing she needs to be around the most is stability. She needs to learn how to feel good about herself without basing her decision on a man or sexual performance. Stand your ground to help her through this because until she learns to love herself again she will never learn to love any one else appropriately.
When she is able to do this, then consider having a relationship if that is what your after. I really applaud you for doing the right thing most men would have just looked at it like just another piece of ""* and took advantage of her unstable state of mind. The girl is lonely, she just lost the person she thought she would be spending the rest of her life with, the one person she thought loved her and understood her and would be there to take care of her...she is just trying to replace that void in her life right now any way she can!
2007-02-15 06:12:45 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do NOT have sex with her!!! She will be obsessing over you next! Don't do it! It will only make things worse and you will regret it. Find a girl without any extra baggage. Especially since she is your neighbor you don't need to cross that boundary. What if you guys hook up and then she will think you are dating. Then if you want to have a real girlfriend you wouldn't be able to because your insane neighbor will always be in the way. Only be friends with this girl. Let her know you are there as a friend, but nothing more. Do the smart thing!
2007-02-15 04:48:13 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
No it would most likely lead to feeling worse. She is seeking acceptance and love, her view is warped into thinking that if you to have sex that you are accepting her and loving her. The best thing would be for you to distance yourself a bit but yet still be her friend. Talk to her on the phone, email her, text message her. Try and keep her form spending the night, especially if you are not looking for a relationship with her. If you give her the wrong idea it could be even more damaging for her and send her over the edge.
2007-02-15 04:54:15 · answer #3 · answered by Chris 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No... You are very smart to not do anything with her. She is still morning her lost love. She is not ready for any real kind of relationship. She needs time to heal. Yes if you can hold her and refrain from anything else that is nice of you but she may come to depend on you and think something more will happen. Be as friendly as you can but let her know that ALL you can be is a friend, unless YOU want to be seriously hurt. Invite her to join in a group of friends doing something. She needs interaction with others her age. Pray with and for her!
2007-02-15 04:57:33 · answer #4 · answered by Joyce S 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's not going to help or hurt her. She needs professional help. If she was ok she probably wouldn't act the same way. I say it depends on how you feel. Sex should communicate love, and that's what she is looking for. If you hook up and then reject her later imagine how that's going to make her feel, and she lives next door! Yikes. Help her out if you can and don't hurt her more. I agree with another answerer, she might have made up the story about her bf killing himself. Look up borderline personality disorder for starters, although I don't know enough to guess that that's what it is.
2007-02-15 04:52:16 · answer #5 · answered by tg440766 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First, I think it's nice that you are actually not trying to take advantage of her. However, I think if you do have sex with this woman, you will probably live to regret it. Seems way too unstable to deal with any kind of rejection. Maybe it would make her feel good for about 10 minutes but she's got some issues she's needs to work on first.
2007-02-15 04:53:22 · answer #6 · answered by Terri A 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she is that depressed and you have sex with her, just be very careful for you might end up in jail, what if that woman is a pathological liar and what is she has some sort of disease, she might blame it on you to get money and even file a rape case against you even if you deny it or nothing really happen. You will just ruin your name and reputation.
ever wondered why her fiance committed suicide? or is it really suicide?
2007-02-15 05:18:32 · answer #7 · answered by grenadier 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Run I mean run.I'm a female and this sounds scary.Why did her last bf commit suicide, you get caught up in this sh t and you could be next.I hope you just think with the right head.I'm proud of you for last night.It seems she has a problem being alone, no offense, but I just think your there so that's who she is going for.She is the kind that constantly needs attention
2007-02-15 04:52:38 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't have sex or any other relationship with her. She sounds lonely since her fiance killed himself. Sounds llke she has been needing to vent to someone and you were it. She needs to get some counseling ASAP. If you do have sex with her, she will be like s shadow, always there. You can't help her, but you can remain a friend and let her know now that's all you want.
Good luck!!
2007-02-15 04:52:58 · answer #9 · answered by Kat 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think you did the right thing. Sleeping with her would just make the situation worse. But its good that she has someone to talk to and to let out her emotions. When a person is depressed and they drink it will just make them more depressed. She trusts you so try to get her to do other things and to meet more people. The more she sits at home alone the worse it will be.
2007-02-15 04:48:11 · answer #10 · answered by sailorsarrah 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋