HOW TO CONVINCE MY FATHER THAT IM A FREAKING GROWN MAN and he should let me go !!?!!?

Question

my father is VERY VERY VERY over preteced ,, yes he does care
but too much , and he always says that u should thank god cause i care alot of fathers dont even know where their kids at
well. im not a freaking kid, im a freaking 20 years old man.
just because im the only son doesnt mean he has the right to ruin my life right ?!
i dont wanna go to college here, i wanna go to aus or newzeland or canada or america or whatever but here sucks my dad knows that . but he just wont let me go . last time we talked about it was a year ago , and he said if u wanna go then go ill just be sad that my only son dont listen to me . if thats ok with u
so i listened to him but guess what ?
i took F in most of subjects in college BECAUSE i just felt like its worthless and im not doing it for my self he dont understand this .
he thought i was only lazy ive told him that million times but he thinks im making excuses to leave the country
I AM SMART WHEN I WANT TO
what makes thinkg even worse

that every single friend of mine is studying outside because everyone knows here colleges suck !! and my mom is 1000% against the idea .. and my dad worthships my mom so that supports his NO !
just like a year ago my cousin who is freaking my age , didnt even get any good marks in high school went to america and hes doing fine now. but my dad says that hes diff.. god knows what different means here. maybe my cousin has two brains and i only have one ... my fathers excuses are 1 i dont have any experience
2 i need u here
3 ur mom would leave me if you leave
4 im still young ill get alots of chances in the future
well its not my fault im the only son !! its not my fault that he cant face his wifeits not my fault that he didnt let me travel b4 to get some " experience' THERES NO WAY ON EARTH im going to finish college here.. even if they paid me
HOW TO THAT IDEA IN HIS HEAD !!
my younger cousin will go outside in a year
and im going to be friendless

he has no idea how does it feel to watch the wrong people go outside inculd ur cousins and im sttaying here alone

i wanna leave but i dont want him to be upset . SO i need a way to makes us both happy

he says that im ur father and ur my son i dont make ur decisons we make them both !!

Answer 1

Since you're an adult you need to make your own decisions. If you're not going away to college is because your parents are paying for your education, not you, then you're either going to do what your parents want (since they're paying) or do it on your own. You're going to have to make some money, get student loans and make it happen. Since you did so poorly in college the first year, you probably won't be able to get scholarships, but you can get grants, loan interest student loans, etc. Get in touch with your cousins, get information from them about their colleges, and contact information for a counselor at the college that may help you. Do your cousins have an apartment they'd be willing to let you stay at until you get on your feet? You're going to have to do the work to get what you want. That is the way adults handle things. Try not to be so upset with your parents for wanting you to stay near them. They love you and worry about you. Possibly, if you start working toward your goal of going away to college, they'll be impressed with your maturity and tenacity and help you. Since you can be smart when you want to, start being smart, quit acting childish and blaming your parents and work toward what you want. You can do it, have a positive attitude. Good Luck!

Answer 2

Hope that any help will do:
Well dude, as you said you are 20 and you are starting to make decisions and choices by yourselve and thats allright.

At the same time you have a good father, overprotected but shows that he wants things better from you.

But now this isnt about what he wants, is about what you want, is time to let him now that you are ready to take the world by yourselve but remember, deep inside of you must know if you really really are ready to be an independent person.

You need motivation of some kind to be alert in life

Answer 3

the only thing you can do is leave. your family is supposed to come first, but it seems like they are hurting you to make them feel good. You can't stay with them forever and eventually they need to realized that. You really don't have all your life to go to school because the longer you wait the harder it gets to go back. You just need to leave and if they still refuse to understand then you'll have to try not to let it bother you. I doubt they would just die because you left. I think they care so much that they are afraid that you might get hurt if you go to another country. I think it's like that with any parent when their child wants to study abroad. If you were 17 or 18 then you'd be better off listening to them but you're 20ys old and you need to get out do what you believe you need to do for your future. They may get mad or be really upset when you leave but you just have to let them. That's just natural for a parent. Eventually you're going to have to leave and get married and all that stuff and they'll have the same reaction. So do what you think is best for you not what your parents want you to do.

Answer 4

You claim to be a man but here you are whining like a child. If you are a man prove it and quit whining. If you want to leave to go to college then do it. I'm not trying to be mean I'm trying to wake you up and show you you're acting like a boy not a man.
So get it together, act like a man and do what you want with your life or stay home and keep whining like a boy.

Answer 5

He’s treating you like a kid because you’re acting like one. Are you sure you’re 20? You sound more like 15. Grow up and gain some maturity, and Dad’s attitude might change. It takes a whole lot more than birthdays to make a ‘man’.

Answer 6

I have the same problem with my parents. well my mom actually. She thinks that by not ever allowing me to get a licence or a car. i just turned 21 and because my mother wants to keep a leash on me, my birthday was ruined and I will never get it back. all i can say is put your foot down with your father and be unremorseful when he acts upset. it is your life, not his. he has no say in what goes on in your life so tell him to but out

Answer 7

Wow. You have to do what makes you happy. Not what makes your father happy. You have to tell him that. You deserve to live your life the way you want. Not how anyone tells you to life it. You can't be his baby forever.

Answer 8

actions speak louder than words......