mother borrow money from son?

Question

i am currently a freshman in college my mother lost her job during my sr. yeaar in high school i am now a college freshman and she is working a job only making 7 a hr with less than 40 hrs each week. she has borrowed about $1000. any suggestions about if i should allow her to borrow more from me or any suggestions in general about what i should do about staying in school or coming back home to help with the bills

to the question about how do i have extra money i worked in high school and saved all my money i possibly could along with paying my all my bills in hs

Answer 1

Stay in school but GIVE ( not loan ) her all the money you possibly can as long as she needs it..

Answer 2

I think you should help your mother. It seems like your situation is pretty stressful and your mom is attempting to work. The job she currently holds maybe the only thing she can get right now. I would continue to help her with bills.

However, do not drop out of school. What I can suggest is that you move back home and attend a local state school. You can commute to school and save money on housing/room + board. You will also be able to work part time to help your mom pay bills.

I'm sure your mom does not want to borrow money for you. It's probably difficult for a parent to take money from their own child. However, it may be necessary or you might lose your home or some of the comforts you are use to.

Some people mentioned above that your mother will never learn to live on her own if you help her, I think that it a horrible thought. My mother got a divorce several years ago, it was very difficult financially and she had a great job. I helped with bills and gave my mom money for things when she needed it. I was an college student at the time, and over 18-making me an adult.

We almost lost our home once. Some people may say that we were living past our means, but I, as well as my mother, would have been devasted if we had to move for any reason. I would never tell me mother to sell our home, so that I wouldn't have to contribute. That would be selfish. She worked her whole life for that home.

Answer 3

Since you've already loaned her $1000 and you're a freshman in college with limited funds, I would say no unless you don't need the money back. My opinion about loaning family money is to do it with the knowledge that you're never going to get the money back. Only loan it if you don't really need to have it back. Your mother needs to find a job working at least 40 hours a week, get a roommate to split living expenses, cancel everything unnecessary (cell phone or land line, cable tv, sell car if making a car payment and get a cheap car, don't eat out-no fast food, etc.). She needs to make some total life changes to pay her bills and pay back her family. You're a caring son to help her out when you're barely in a position to help. Be gentle and tell her to contact a credit advisor. Credit advisors are great at helping people with their bills by notifying creditors, lowering payments and setting up a budget. Good Luck!

Answer 4

Well, you have two options pretty much. Either you stop giving her money and she bring up all the things that she has done for you or you keep giving it to her and she always knows that she can rely on you in case something happens. What you need to do is talk to her about it. You understand that she is having a hard time, but you need to focus on school and make sure that you are paying for it to keep going. Your schooling is what is going to take care of you and her in the long run. Be sensitive and stern at the same time. Once you leave school, its hard to get back. Don't turn your back on your future. BTW, I came home to help with the bills, here I am 21, still trying to get back to school.

Answer 5

Look, it's nice that you want to help your mother out. Family should stick together. Still, if you are a college freshman, then I am old enough to be your mother. My son will be 18 soon himself. Unless your mother had you when she was much older, and she therefore is getting old and having difficulty finding good employment as a result, then she is capable of taking care of herself. What you CAN do for your mother is to be as supportive and understanding and non-judgmental as possible. It really is hard to find employment sometimes, especially if you are older. Employers say they don't discriminate based on age, but the sad truth is, they will hire a young person before an older one, if both are equally qualified. That said, it is your mother's job to be worrying about you - not the other way around. When she is old and incapable of taking care of herself, then that is another story. Right now, she is still young enough and capable enough to stand on her own two feet. She could get a second job if she isn't getting enough hours and pay with the job she currently has. Don't give up your education to support your mother. It's admirable and noble, but it is very difficult to go back to school and pick up where you left off. There will always be some obstacle or reason to prevent you from returning. College is a chance to get an education that could enhance and enable your own financial success in the future. Don't throw that chance away because your mother is having a hard time. There are non-profit agencies that she could contact to see if there is any assistance available to help her with utility bills and rent/mortgage. If her income qualifies, she could apply for food stamps. It may be embarrassing, but it is there to help when needed. Your mother is a grown woman who should not be depending upon her child to help her out financially. If you were a wealthy person and had the means to help and wanted to, then that is another story, but please don't set aside your education to help her. I am a mother, old enough to be your mother, and I would never dream of asking or allowing my child to do this for me. Help to the extent that you want to out of love, but please stay in school.

Answer 6

I know you want to help you Mom out, but in the long run you will be hurting her by just doling out money will just make her dependent on you instead of learning to live within her means that she now has, not based on the job she used to have.

For the short run, it may mean possibly getting a part-time job in addition to the one she has now, moving in to a smaller place or subsidized housing, selling off her current vehicle and getting something cheaper or taking public transportation if it is available instead of driving and eliminate any other unnecessary expenses.

In the long run she needs to find employment that pays better and has steady hours, even if that means she needs to go back to school...there are all sorts of programs she can qualify for if she has not graduated from college previously.

It is better to cut her off now, firmly but politely.

Answer 7

Help her as much as you can without quitting school. That is the best option. But don't except or ask her to pay back the money. If that does not work, think about transferring to a school so you can live at home and help out without quitting school entirley.

Answer 8

Forget about the thousand and yes you can give her money but be careful because i've known more than one guy to get overly roped in. Sit down with her and explain that you will help her where you can and you love her but you need to discuss what she needs in terms of going to school so she can do better for herself because you can't support the both of you. If she only makes what you say then she should be able to go for free.If she doesn't want to do that then I'm sorry to say it but then it's her problem.

Answer 9

I went through this once before and it is a very hard decision to make. I ended up quitting college and helping my mom, when she divorced and her husband left her with 10s of thousands in debt. I gave her my tax returns and my pay check for almost 6 months. I had a son at the time to provide for as well and no child support from his dad. This was very hard on me as well as my mom, finally I lost it and decided I wasnt going to take it any more. It was her life she needed to take care of herself. I love my mother and would do anything for her and believe me I have, but I had a family to raise on my own. You are starting your life and even though your mom raised you it is her life and she needs to take care of herself. It is ok to let her borrow money, but do not quit school hon. You deserve a life too. I am just now getting back to school....2 years later.

Good luck to you on a very hard decision. I just gave you what happened to me and my opinion, you need to make your own decision. Good luck and take care!

Answer 10

Don't expect her to give you the money back or repay you. I assume that you're putting yourself through school, so how do you have extra thousands of dollars laying around to give to your mom? Let her be the parent and figure out what she's doing. It's her job to be the adult, not yours.