i planned a sexy evening for my boyfriend to surprise him. I used white sheets to create a "tent" over his bed..inside there was champagne, heart-shaped cookies, a bucket of ice..body icing..and little hearts describing reasons why I love him, plus a game that I created called "sexy truth or dare"...very dirty dares, and truths are questions like "tell me a secret" ..to get to know eachother...well, that backfired. My secret was that his detachable shower-head is a lot of fun......HIS secret was that 1) 8 months ago he gave a girl his # and went dancing with her while I was out of town and 2) he feels "guilted" into doing things. I don't even know what that means...I got mad, and kind of violent (kicked him to push him away from me a few times)...and while he begged for me not to be mad (said I took this the wrong way)..I left and slept alone at my apartment for the first time in 15 months. --should I be THIS upset? I was drunk and maybe misunderstood. Now he is ignoring my calls:(
2007-02-15 03:44:49 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Give him a while to cool off, and call him tonight or tomorrow and apologize for leaving and tell him you love him. If the his secrets are really bothering you, then maybe you two should seek couples counseling to help sort out your feelings and get things back on track. Just a thought. Good luck.
2007-02-15 03:53:23 · answer #1 · answered by Batdan 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow--that was some story!! I didn't know what you meant at first about your romantic surprise backfiring. It's hard to believe that actually happened and I'm sorry that it did. But you found out the truth and that's a good thing. Your guy confessed that he cheated on you. You needed that information no matter how much it hurt. In view of the disclosure, I wouldn't worry that he was ignoring my calls. If you continue the relationship at this point you will be accepting his behavior and will have acquiescened in his being dishonest, deceitful, disloyal, and unfaithful. Why are you trying to contact him anyway?! He is the one that needs to accept responsibility. You wouldn't want to 'guilt' him into conversing with you, would you?! I'd be glad that he's ignored your calls and when he eventually returns your call I suggest you tell him you wanted to make arrangements to retrieve your personal items left at his apt. and break up for good. You aren't going to be able to trust him anymore anyway. I'm sorry that he turned out to be a jerk, but it's better to find out now than later on when you've invested even more in the relationship. Now, he'll never tell you the truth about his disloyalty and you'll never truly believe what he saids 100%.
2007-02-15 03:56:17 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow.
He absolutely betrayed your trust, however he apparently felt the need to "come clean" about his behavior. It would have taken the wind out of my sails as well and I would have been upset, angry and hurt.
You mentioned being "drunk" and this can only worsen the situation. Sometimes liquor can be a great disinhibitor, however can wreak havoc on communication in relationships.
You reacted strongly, but naturally, I think. This was supposed to bring you closer in your eyes and be a romantic moment that exploded into a helluva bad time.
Best advice is to figure out how you feel about his disclosure and what it means. Meet in a neutral place to talk about what happened and COMMUNICATE COMMUNICATE COMMUNICATE!
Good Luck! : )
2007-02-15 03:58:57 · answer #3 · answered by ivy9toes 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Give it time, but you MUST apologize for being violent. It's not fair between reasonable adults to resort to physical violence. There's no need for that. Give it some time. He might be scared. Likely, he didn't tell you those things in order to hurt you but to get something off of his chest. He may even regret it. It's very possible nothing happened between the two of them. Just give it time, okay.
2007-02-15 03:50:33 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
trust me. u were right for walking out on him becuz for him to jus come out and tell u on such a special day and not have told u b4 yesterday was wrong on his part. he shudnt have gone dancing and waited 8months to tell u? plus he feels like cheating on u? i mean dont break up with him. u need to ask him what else it is he might be hiding from u. talk to him some more about yall relationship. like ask him if u doing something wrong that he is not contented with u.
2007-02-15 03:54:43 · answer #5 · answered by CaribbeanChica 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'd be mad about the other girl too - it's cheating to give your number to another person and go out with them if you're in a relationship. You had every right to leave and be mad.
2007-02-15 03:51:11 · answer #6 · answered by lunasage 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
go to his place and ask to talk to him. tell him you had a little too much to drink and that you are sorry
2007-02-15 03:50:41 · answer #7 · answered by Amanda 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ok well you just have to talk to him and let him no everything.. and he has to let you no everything as well!
2007-02-15 03:53:26 · answer #8 · answered by Im addicted to the memory of him 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im sorry but that made me laugh!!
2007-02-15 04:32:13 · answer #9 · answered by then she killed my brain 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋