I was with my ex for about 3 years and during that time we lost a pregnancy at 5 months. She was born named (Angel) baptised everything but then did not survive. We ended our relationship a year and a half later. I am currently with my bf now of a year and the babys birthday is today 2/15 and he, my ex, asked me to go out to eat to celebrate her birthday. This is something we have ALWAYS done. Well my current bf DOES NOT approve. Should I lie and just go? Should I be honest and still go? Should I not go???
2007-02-15 03:40:07 · 14 answers · asked by Steff 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He knows its something Ive always done but still doesn't approve!!
2007-02-15 03:45:59 · update #1
They have met before and he still doesnt approve. My ex and I do not talk on a regular basis just once in a while....
2007-02-15 04:05:18 · update #2
Sorry to hear of your loss. Since you have a new boyfriend, you have a new life. When you were with your ex, you celebrated her birthday in a certain way. Now that you have your new boyfriend you can celebrate in a new way. Has your ex invited your new boyfriend? If not, maybe that's why your boyfriend has a problem with it. Which that does seem to leave him out. Think about it, put yourself in your boyfriends shoes, how would you feel if his ex wanted to go to dinner with him alone for same reason? He shouldn't be left out if it's your child! He loves you! Your love will never die for her, so don't be manipulated into hearing that you don't care or feel guilty if you don't do it a certain way! Isn't it a celebration for her? It doesn't matter HOW you celebrate!
2007-02-18 20:25:59 · answer #1 · answered by jamz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Evaluate why you are doing this, and if you still need to do it. There are other ways to celebrate your child. Maybe it's time to find a new way. But if not, be honest with your bf because if he can't handle this or try to understand it, he may not be all that mature or he may be insecure which will cause other problems in the relationship later. When these types of issues come up in a relationship, this is how you learn some important things about your partner. When it comes down to the wire, when the chips are down, will he stand by you, or will he back away? At any rate, don't lie. Either he can handle it or he can't.
2007-02-15 03:52:00 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't lie. Never lie in a relationship. Trust is so important to a healthy happy relationship, and lying ruins that. Even if the person doesn't want to hear what you are saying, tell the truth. Lies just grow and grow and get out of control.
Tell your bf that you are going out with your ex to celebrate Angel's birthday. If your bf doesn't approve, then he must not care about you or your feelings because if he really truly cared, he would realize this is important to you, and trust that it is just an innocent dinner. He will either get over it, or he is not the right person for you to be with.
2007-02-15 03:46:47 · answer #3 · answered by jeepgirl0385 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, don't lie to him about what you plan to do. Just explain to him that you're going to have dinner, a yearly celebration that you've done since your baby's death. Explain to your boyfriend that there's nothing between you and your ex except the fact that you had a child who unfortunately didn't survive and for that reason you've remained friends with him and that's it. Try introducing your ex and your new boyfriend to one another and maybe that will ease your boyfriends mind. However, if it doesn't I'd let him know that he's acting as if he doesn't trust you and that you're being honest about everything. Offer him to come to the resturant and sit at a different table if he feels that something else is going to happen and if he feels he can't trust you enough to contiune with an annual celebration. However my advise to you would be the next person that you date, let them know this in the very beginning of your relationship, let them know that this is something that you do and plan to do and give them the option of dealing with it or not dealing with you. No one can really tell you if you should or should not go. Only you can make the decision. Think of it this way, you're not doing anything wrong. You're celebrating your child's birthday. If she had lived and you gave her a party is he saying that her father couldn't come to her party? If you don't do this celebration how are you going to feel, how is it going to make you feel? If you miss this celebration are you going to be disappointed in yourself and upset with him because you decided not to go because of him? He needs to understand that you had a child with this person regardless if she's living or not and if he can't deal with that then he needs to move on or you need to let him go.
2007-02-15 03:55:41 · answer #4 · answered by Pisces Princess 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a painful thing to lose a child we can all agree. The thing is, you have decided to move on with your relationship. The past should stay in the past, also you are not connected anymore to your ex. You could always celebrate your daughters birthday alone, or with family or with your new bf. Don't go out with him. You have lost your daughter, and going out with your ex, could cause you to lose your current bf. Life goes on.
2007-02-15 03:55:29 · answer #5 · answered by Crista B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your current BF probably understands that your celerating of your baby's B-Day is important to you. Why can't you celebrate with him? It is kind of like being divorced. I have custody of my son and i also have a new GF and i can not imagine celebrating my son's B-Day with he and his mom. This year my son and I celebrated his birthday together with my new GF. You have moved on from your ex, but not from your child. You need to start to include your new BF in this celebration. This could be a way for the two of you to get closer. So I can understand your new BF's feelings. I think that it would be wrong if you went.
2007-02-15 04:28:01 · answer #6 · answered by firehunk 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most probably, your current boyfriend does not approve not because it is your daughter's birthday but because you are meeting up with your ex-bf.
Explain to the current partner that celebrating your daughter's birthday is important to you. Perhaps you and the current bf celebrate it together.
2007-02-15 03:47:06 · answer #7 · answered by tranquil 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why did you get a lawyer? I don't get it? Those are allegations. Did you contact the police department where he has lived to confirm this? Why get an attorney if you don't want anything or need rights protected? Make sure there is no truth to it. Your boyfriend should not have confronted the daughter.
2016-05-24 03:37:15 · answer #8 · answered by Christine 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DON'T LIE!
maybe its time you celebrate her birthday by yourself though..your ex doesn't always need to be tied to you for this reason...
2007-02-15 03:48:11 · answer #9 · answered by roy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's being a d1ck!! Tell him what you are doing and then go. It's not like you're going to sleep with him, you're going to remember your daughter. If he cannot understand that, then he is not the right person for you.
2007-02-15 03:49:08 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋