I did something very wrong that i want to make right. I ran away and then when i got taken to child haven i made up a lie about my dad out of anger. Then i got sent to my aunts house and she said i could not talk to my fiance, but i did anyways. Now my cousin is mad at me for what he says was disrespecting HIS aunt but she is my aunt too. Then on Valentines Day i texted him to tell him that and he texted me back " why are you texting me i am mad at you," What can I do to make all of this right again???
2007-02-15 03:32:52 · 18 answers · asked by *TURTLE* 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Have a heart-to-heart talk with your dad and your aunt (separately), or at least write them each a sincere letter. Acknowledge what you did, that you did it out of anger (and why you were mad-admit if it was childish), and your feelings of being sorry. Tell them that you want to gain their respect back. They still love you, that pretty much comes with the territory with close family, but they don't have to like you or trust you. You have to kind of earn that back. Be serious and be real about it. You'll feel a thousand percent better after you do it, and your family can begin to heal over what you've done to them.
Best wishes.
2007-02-15 03:39:54 · answer #1 · answered by Zeera 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forget about the shame crap. thats not going to result in anything positive.
You've made a mess, now you must clean it up. You've already taken the first step: accepting responsibility.
The first thing you now must do is reverse the biggest damage: lying about your dad. that could result in very serious long-term trouble, you must address it immediately, truthfiully and to everyone. A letter might be a good place to start, so you can make sure you've got it right and people will hear all of what you're saying. also its a time-saver.
But thats not all the damage. You also owe him a huge apology, and a lot of whatever it takes to regain his trust. you've hurt him bad.
Yes, this time is also a good test of your bf/fiance relationship. if he isn't being patient and supportive, then hes not a very good one. You may need some time away from him to focus on your family.
The aunt is being a bit unreasonable cutting off all contact with your fiance (unless you're under 16, in which case you have no business even talking about such things) but you're asking something unreasonable of her too. you showed up on her doorstep with no warning.
you've made a big mess and you're going to have to eat some crow for awhile, and put up with things you might not otherwise, in order to show people you're serious about change.
don't stress about the cousin. get the rest of it on track and he'll get over it eventually.
In all seriousness, underage people talking about marriage tends to scare your family. and for good reason. you've got decades to get married, its usually much harder to get an education after marriage, and young marriages usually don't last anyway. Theres no good reason to rush and several good reasons not to.
2007-02-18 05:35:38 · answer #2 · answered by netizen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok....what?!
First and foremost, go back to those people that you lied to about your dad and explain what you did and why. Your dad could be in a lot of trouble with the law depending on what you said.
...and your aunt; may have your best interests at heart, but cannot tell you not to speak to your fiance. That said, if you are engaged to be married I think you're a little too old to be relying on family to take care of you, not to mention the fact that you obviously don't care for your family very much if you purposely get your father in trouble and don't live by the rules of the aunt that has agreed to allow you to live IN HER HOME.
Grow up.
2007-02-15 11:48:06 · answer #3 · answered by Slimslimmer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been there. My advice is, tell your fiance that family values are VERY important to you and you want him to understand that you need some time to focus on some issues. Then, go to your cousin and talk to him. explain your feelings to him, be very clear about what is important to you which is making amends to the people you've hurt. apologize to your family most importantly, your Dad. I don't know how old you are but, I'm guessing your at the age when you want to feel independant and make your own decisions. keep in mind, if you are underaged, your parent/guardian is responsible for everything you do. Respect that! don't fight it. earn your families trust. you will have everything just the way you want it. your family loves you and your "best interest" is the issue. your fiance should respect your efforts to maintain healthy family values and support you 100% the ultimate goal here should be, gain your families support and trust with communication. do what you legally must do first, then,you can do whatever you want to do as long as you remain within your boundaries. Respect your families love for you and they will respect your wishes. remember, your fiance is about to become family so keep "family values" at the top of your priorities. Good luck!
2007-02-15 12:44:06 · answer #4 · answered by cnelson9800@sbcglobal.net 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1.) It sounds like you're too young to have a fiancee.
2.) Family comes first. Your family will always love you (not always like you), but your bf/fiancee whatever isn't necessarily forever. Engagements and relationships are broken all the time.
3.) Talk to Child Haven and tell them you lied.
4.) Respect your aunt, fess up and apologize. To your cousin too. And your Dad. Dads always love their baby girls, even though they may be mad at you.
5.) be genuine in your apologies. You messed up, let them know that you know that and that you want to make it right.
2007-02-15 12:31:03 · answer #5 · answered by GLSigma3 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
GROW UP and ACT YOUR AGE!!!! Tell the truth to the people you lied to about your dad and tell your Aunt what you did. Apologize to your cousin and get rid of the boy you are seeing. You are way too immature to be saying "my fiance". Get yourself together and stop trying to play " GROWN UP" you suck at it.
2007-02-15 11:40:31 · answer #6 · answered by kitkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a fiance, yet you got taken to child haven? And you told a lie about your Dad......
A little maturity is in order I think.
2007-02-15 11:36:31 · answer #7 · answered by Mr. Goodkat 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Change your actions and way of life to begin with. Nobody is going to believe that you are sorry or trying until you stop lying, tell the truth about what really happened with your dad, and stop sneaking around.
2007-02-15 11:43:27 · answer #8 · answered by mark my words 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
See a psychiatrist
2007-02-15 11:36:27 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell the truth, immediately. To everyone. Shame on you.
2007-02-15 11:36:45 · answer #10 · answered by All hat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋