controlling mother?

Question

i am 30yrs young.i am the youngest of nine children. i am hardworking and and support her.im at a stage to move out bec i need my independce but i think this will kill her bec she is this kind of mother that wants to rule her kids lives...she does the same to my sisters.she makes up stories,tell us who to be friends with,when and where to go .she critisize us never have a good word to say.i cannot talk to her bec she say she,s boss.plz help me

Answer 1

You're 30...time to be out on your own. A caring mother would have instilled this idea in her children while they were growing up. To survive, all young birds gotta fly sometime.

Answer 2

Are you living in her house? If so, go out and get your own apartment - what took you so long? Obviously your brothers and sisters did it. If you are truly independent and mature, you should be proud of yourself and excited at the prospect of being on your own. Your mother may think she will be lonely, especially after raising 9 children. But let her know that you can get together for lunch once a week, or dinner once a week. Tell her that it could strengthen your relationship because you will miss her and appreciate her more. Tell her she should be proud that she raised you all so well! Good luck and God Bless.

Answer 3

Who's controlling whom? If my 30 yr old son/daughter even asked to live home there better had be a good excuse for it. Somewhere along the lines of they found asbestos in his/her home and he/she/family needs a place to stay temporarily.

If your mother truly cannot take care of herself then that is a different issue that can be dealt with later but I see many making things up along the same lines today just so they don't have to take the step. None of us on here know for sure the living situation but most know at your age it's time to take responsibility and grow forward. You can still repect and love your mother and she can still do the same. Nothing will ever be perfect but don't you think eventually everything will get much better?

Answer 4

I can tell you dude, that you need to move out. I've been in the same predicament for about 10 years now, with my mom, and it hasn't gotten any better, only the opposite. Moms have already lived and its our time now. We never asked to be brought into the world, and even now that we are here, we shouldn't have to be slaves to our parents. Make the move, but when you are making plans, don't tell anyone, not your siblings, or a friend. They may only hate you for awhile, but they will get over it, and then some of them may want to take pattern. Go ahead, be happy and independant.

Answer 5

wow. it's time to start living your life. I think you should be sincere, honest and up front with her. Don't start accusing her. You should go out on your free time and look for an apartment - maybe even nearby for your first time living apart. Then when you get the apartment, tell your mother that it's time that you moved out, but not for her to worry because if there is any sort of emergency you are near by, but your mother needs to learn that you are 30 and an adult and not a child anymore. Remind her that you could be married with kids right now if you didnt live with her. She's missing out on her grandma years.

Answer 6

You have to do what you have to do. If moving out is what will make you happy go for it! Never put anyone before you! You come first!
You may feel that you are being ungrateful to your mother at first, but once your out there on your own you will feel awhole lot better. Sounds like your mother is very controlling and I have been in that situation.But you have to learn that what makes you happy is what should be a priority.

Good Luck! Hope you resolve your problem.

Answer 7

I am sorry for what you are going through. Let me tell you what: I was in the same boat as you and I am over it now. How? at some point I said to myself: enough is enough. I need to live. My parents lived their lives and they don't have the right to live mine too. They have chosen their own and you have the right to do the same.
the first step was to move out. You are 30 so you must be able to afford being alone. She won't take it easily and she will call you names and will threaten you even. But don't listen to her. Once you are alone then you can take control of your life.
Don't tell her everything you do, your plans and people you meet. Kepp it to yourself.
I am telling you man, my relationship with my mother has changed alot. Sometimes she tries to control me but I don't give her the chance to anymore.

Let me know how it goes.

Answer 8

While she feels she is the boss, you're grown now. If she won't allow you to talk to her, then I suggest you move out, and get your own place. Perhaps once you've moved, she'll be willing to look at how she treats her kids. No matter how old you are, you'll always be a child to her. Your mother does need to respect your life choices, and learn to deal with them appropriately. Try to talk to her, if that doesn't work, then you definitely need to move. Good luck!

Answer 9

Move out & reestablish your relationship with your mother on your terms. You obviously don't like things the way they are and your 30! I was out of the house at 18! Go! And, when your mother asks why, tell her.

You might talk to your brothers & sisters about it before you go, just to give them a heads up.

Good Luck!

Answer 10

this is all the more reason to move out. She will eventually respect you for being a woman. If you stay under her roof she will always be the boss. Act like a woman and do what you feel is right for you and tell her that.