She corrected my grammar!?!?

Question

Several friends and I do lunch weekly, and have been doing so for about 3 years. Recently, one of them brought his girlfriend along. We were all talking and I said something was "badly worded" and she corrected my grammar! I, and most of the other people at the table, had only known this girl for about 20 minutes and she felt it appropriate to correct my grammar!?! Now, I don't want to go to lunch with my friends when she is there. I'm paranoid that I will word something POORLY and she will do it again. I really don't want to avoid lunch with my friends.

I think I need to mention that everyone at the table, except her, have or are at least working on Masters degrees, so we aren't stupid. Maybe she was only trying to impress us, but it came off as rude and inappropriate.

How do I handle this in the future, without changing my weekly tradition?

I didn't mean the Masters comment to sound like I was saying that people without them were stupid, that would make me stuck up and stupid. I'm using it as an example to say that we are educated and do know how to use proper grammar. We just choose not to think about it every minute of the day!

Answer 1

When I was in school, I was taught that spoken conversations are informal and therefore we all can be a little forgiving when it comes to proper grammar while anything written was considered formal. So anything written, where people can actually SEE the grammatical errors especially in a professional environment, should use correct spelling, grammar and punctuation. So speak however you like because if we all had to think about grammar in our heads before we open our mouths, then there will probably be a lot of silences in a conversation.

(Also, correcting someone was rude on her part.)

Answer 2

Hey don't apologize for saying you have a masters although unless you learned about etiquette and the use of proper grammar, it doesn't matter if you have one or not and I am NOT saying that to be insulting. Many degree programs only focus of the courses needed and many people, masters degrees or not, do not know basic etiquette. You made a grammar error, she made and etiquette error. She may have been nervous but if it happens again...
Two things here: 1. IF you have your own issues with the way you talk that you would like to improve, take a class, but if it doesn't bother you and you can live with the insensitive remarks of others than let it go.
2. SHE is being rude and displaying bad etiquette by correcting you. If it bothers you, and it does, then politely pull her aside and say something. These things are better dealt with face to face with the person with whom you have the issue. I wouldn't let this fester. It could possibly come between you and your friend. People are protective of the people they date as that person could be the 'one'.

Answer 3

She'd be winning if you stopped going. DON'T change a thing. I've had someone do that to me and it was terribly embarrassing. It turned out that all of my friends that were there saw it for what it was - she was being a snot. Next time she does that, I would say "thanks for that correction, but I'd rather be grammatically incorrect, which is a rather common occurrence for everyone - even those like me with 6 years of higher education - than a grammar know-it-all, which is just rude unless you are a 5th grade grammar teacher". Something like that. I hate people like that. Good luck, but don't let her get the best of you.

Answer 4

Don't let her stop you from getting together with your friends. Ignore her is probably the better way to handle it. And I mean truly ignore her "grammar" comments. A lot of times when people feel the need to correct others, it's only because they feel inferior. So, don't let it bother you. Remember, she's the newcomer, so hang in there.

Answer 5

Continue to go with your friends, don't stop because of her. However, if it happens again tell her you don't appreciate the grammar lesson and that she would do well to learn a little etiquette. Should shut her up. Then, don't give her a chance to respond before you turn and begin to talk with someone else.

Answer 6

Ask the friend who brought her to tell her not to correct anyone's grammar in front of others again. Although, she may be right (and I'm not sure she was) that it is more rude to correct someone in front of others than bad grammar.

Answer 7

I wouldn't bring up the fact that everyone has a master's except for her, however, if it happens again, I'd tell her that I know she's trying to be helpful, but correcting the grammar of someone you hardly know is not a great way to begin a friendship.

Answer 8

Sounds like she's a product of Catholic schools. The priests and nuns jump down your throat every time you use bad grammar.

Answer 9

i find that i hate most of my friend's girlfriends.
wait until she does it again and then tell her that you aren't being evaluated for your performance at the lunch table and while you and your friends are out, you let down your hair and sometimes ::gasp!:: ignore the rules of grammar.
don't let her make you feel bad, she was probably already compensating for what a loser she is by trying to make you look stupid.
it's not ok to verbally correct someone's grammar in a crowd unless they are under 10 years old. it's belittling and crude.

Answer 10

Just ignore her without being rude.

She probably didn't mean anything by it.

Language operates on many levels depending on the setting and 'bad grammar' is sometimes the result of speakers just being relaxed when in good company.

Eventually she will get it.