How many times?

Question

How many of you moms out there feel that fear 'I do my best but I still yell too much and my kids will be in counseling one day because of me!'. How many times can you ask your kids to do something before you yell?? They are good kids, sweet, considerate, polite....they just are kids so of course you have to repeat yourself, but what else can you do when you've said it 3 times and have to yell and then hear 'mommy why do you always yell?' and I say 'If you'd listen the first two times I wouldn't' But the next time, same thing. AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH. Sincerely, mother of three not sure of her sanity.

Answer 1

Stop yelling.... Tell your kids that there is a new rule and this is the only time you are explaining it. Ask them to do whatever it is you want them to do and when they don't say this is your final warning. If they still don't then take away something that they really like. Do not give it back, be firm and when they see that you mean it they well start doing what they are told. You have to be consistant and be patient. There may be arguing and crying but refuse to explain, they knew the new rule. If you do this you will never have to yell again.

Answer 2

Ah yes, we feel your pain! I don't yell anymore, and this is why. It didn't do anything positive, upset my children, it didn't get the results I wanted, and then I walk away feeling the bad guy! No more! When I talk to my girls, I make sure I am looking at them and that they are paying attention. Then I very calmly say, "Look at me and listen, this is very important. Do not (for example) jump on the bed again. It is dangerous and could damage both you and the bed. If you do, (for example) I will put up your My Little Ponies. Do you understand?" I then ask them what they are not allowed to do, and what will happen if they do. Once they repeat it back, I know they understand. The rule in my house is, every NEW rule gets a second chance, since they are learning it. After that, it's one strike, you're out. And when I take the toy or whatever the punishment is, I am very calm about it. I simply point out what they did, remind them of the consiquences and carry them out. It works really well, you don't have to yell, and it's great for out in public. I can squat down in a store, whisper the above to my daughter, and she obeys. No embarasing either of us, and it has really helped our relationship. Another thing I found that is important, and wonderful. When one of my girls says sorry, I don't give them back whatever, but I hug them and tell them that that is good and that I appreciate that. There are still consequences, but they know that we are still "OK". Hope this helps! Oh and btw- not being sure of your sanity...comes with the territory! Just remember, you are doing the hardest, most important job in the world, with no prior training! Give yourself a break!

Answer 3

Please don't take this as Woman Bashing, It's just that women are way to soft when it comes to their children.."OH I'd never hit my child, that would be wrong..so I'll just Yell and scream until they stop listening all together. Most of the time I find that women will threaten their child with idle threats. [say you will when you and the child knows you won't] Never, let me repeat this..NEVER make idle threats. Not to your kids, your husband or any body else. If you say it..do it. Believe me, they will get the message quick. Now , most important..Always say it in a Low,Calm voice. This lets them know that you're in control...But remember, if you don't follow through, your just waisting yours and their time. They'll lose respect for anything you say or do.

Answer 4

Oh wow I could of swore I wrote this. I tell you its a vicous cycle I can remember saying that to my mom, now I find myself yelling at my son all the time. Its because they DONT listen. I guess you have to turn the volume up to get your point across. Ive gotten to the point with my son if I tell him one time and he doesnt do it, it either gets thrown away or I go get him, by the arm (not hurting him) and take him to what I want him to do. Now lately he does it on the first time. Granted I have one and you have 3 but thats the best I could do. Good luck.

Answer 5

I agree with kitkat...when you are yelling you are wasting your breathe. Be firm with them. Considering they are old enough to understand when Mom says that it, it's over.