How do stop loving someone you loved forever?

Question

I 've been with my daughters father for eight years but this year things have changed.I'm emotionally destoyed because my entire family never liked him anyway,But that never matter to me reason I was in love.In the past few weeks he became very distant and I can't seem to feel this viod of emptyness.I most tell you this cause it a vital piece of information I'm only 22/he's 28 He was my first everything weve tried to break it off .We just always end up together because he is all that I know.He broke up with me today after I came to his house to find out what he did valenetine day.I complety confused and hurt .How do you get throw the pain?

Answer 1

You need to start respecting yourself. Do not let him back into your bed. Go meet other men and find one who well enrich your life. Just because he was your first, doesn't mean he is the right one for you. He will always come back to you in between other women because you let him. That is not love.

Answer 2

It takes time. The pain of having a long, serious relationship suddenly end isn't something that's going to go away in a day. You'll need to try not to dwell on it as much as possible and to not get back together with this guy. It doesn't sound like you two just suddenly fell out of love judging by your history. You two don't seem to have been in a good relationship for awhile. I read a good bit of advice once that I think applies well to this situation. If you are in a mature, loving relationship you need the other person because you love them. If you're in an immature relationship then you love the other person because you need them. The point is, you have stated that you two have tried to break it off, but you're familiar with each other and and keep coming back to the relationship. This isn't necessarily love. Subconsciously the two of you don't want to be alone, and you already know each other so you think that the best way to get rid of the loneliness problem is to return to the person you're used to. Hence the love someone because you think you need them. You need to go out on your own and establish your own self, your own identity, your stregnth as a mother, and your own inner stregnth separate from any man before you enter another relationship. This will help prevent you from feeling so emotionally dependent on a guy, and allow you to need someone because you truly have feelings of love for them and not just because you're lonely, you are very familiar with them, and feel that you need to be in a relationship. Your relationships will be much more joyful and fulfilling this way. I hope it all works out for you!

Answer 3

it's too early, if you just broke up today, the pain of that has to be worked through before you can answer any of these questions. If I'm doing the math right, you've been with this fellow since you were 14??? and you've never Been with anyone else. It doesn't matter. Give yourself a chance to heal, it may take a long time. The answer to your question is that you don't stop loving him. I got divorced over twenty years ago and I still have a very soft spot in my heart for my Ex, but I got on with it, and you will too. Good Luck!@

Answer 4

It's not easy to get over someone you've been with for 8 years especially if you have a child with that person and he was your 1st everything. But since there is such an age gap that may be the problem..you guys probably aren't on the same mental level or he may feel that since you are younger you are more naiive and will take all of his crap. Learn to love yourself and find comfort in things that make you happy, like your child. Focus on the 2 of you and pray that your life falls into place.

Answer 5

First of all, tell him you want to be friends a least. Second you never get over a love like that you will always carry it in your heart and be glad that you had a chance to love once. some people never get the opportunity to know what its like to be loved and that is worse. Separate knowing that you do care and what you need now is time and to keep yourself very busy working or doing volunteer work you meet a lot of kind people doing volenteer work. Take care Heather

Answer 6

yeah been there all you have to do is just be srong for your daughters and yourself, all you have to do isthank god for the blessings that you do have and the only thing that will heal is time and your will power and it may seem like a lifetime and you're young you'll meet some body else and you'll forget all about it but only time will heal and you think about all your qualities in yourself and how you are a good mother and then you'll think about that he never really deserved you anyway you're too good for someone like him

Answer 7

Plz be open to this information. It may help
*What in the world is the difference between loving a person, and being attached to them? Love is the sincere wish, for others to be happy and to be free from suffering. Having realistically realized other’s kindness, as well as their faults, Love is Always focused on the other person’s welfare. We have no ulterior intensions or motives to fulfill our own self-interests; or to fulfill our own desires, we love others, all people, simply because they exist. Attachment, on the other hand, exaggerates others’ good qualities, and makes us crave to be with them. When we’re with them, we are happy, but when we’re separated from them, we’re miserable. Attachments are always linked with expectations of what others should be, or what they should do for us. Is love, as it is understood in most societies, really love OR attachment ? Let us examine this a little more. Generally speaking, we are attracted {drawn to) people because they have qualities we value, or because they help us in some way. If we carefully observe, through introspection, our own thought processes we’ll notice that we very often look for specific qualities in others. Some of these qualities we are drawn to are qualities within our parents, or qualities which society values.
We examine someone’s looks, education, social status, financial status, and so forth. This is how Most of us decide on whether or not the person holds any true value, or not. In addition, we judge people as worthwhile according to how they relate to us. If they praise us, encourage us, help us, if they listen to what we have to say, if they make us feel secure, if they take care of us when were sick, unhappy or depressed, we consider them good, or sometimes righteous people, and these are the people we more drawn to, whom we are most likely attracted to, and the people we choose to be around with.
In all honesty, this is very biased, for we are judging them, only in terms of how they relate to us, as if we are the most important person in the world & thinking the world revolves around us! After we’ve judged certain people to be good for us, whenever we see them, it appears to us as if goodness is radiating out from within them, but as we are more mindfully aware, we realize that we have projected this goodness on to them.
Desiring to be the people who make us feel good, we become emotional yo-yo’s, when we’re with these people, we’re up, but when we’re not with them, we’re down. Furthermore, we form fixed concepts of what our relationships with these people will be, and thus have expectations of them. “When they do not live up to our expectations of them, we’re unhappy, disappointed or may even become angry. We want them to change so that they will match what we think they are. But our projections and expectations come from our own minds, not from other people. Our problems arise not because others aren’t who we thought they were, but because we mistakenly thought they were something they were not. We often use a type of Checklist also. Checklist: “I Love You IF ___________ !” This Love is Conditional and what we call love, is most often attachment. It is actually an attitude which overestimates the qualities of another person.
’Then we cling tightly to that person, thinking our peace and happiness depends on that person. We even often blame that person for our unhappiness.’ Love, on the other hand, is a very patient, calm, optimistic and relaxed attitude. We want others to be free from suffering and to be happy simply because they exist. While attachments are uncontrolled, and too emotionally sentimental, Love is Patient, powerful, and controlled(disciplined). Attachment obscures our judgment {our ability to make sound, wise decisions), and we become impatient, angry, and impartial – helping our dear ones, and those who do us no harm. Love clarifies our mind, & we access a situation by thinking of the greatest good for everyone. Attachment is based on selfishness, while love is founded on valuing, & cherishing others, even those who do not look very appealing to us. Love always looks beyond all the superficial appearances and dwells on the fact that they are just like us: they want peace of mind, happiness, and wish to avoid suffering. If we see unattractive, or unintelligent people we most often feel repulsed, because our selfish minds want to find attractive, intelligent, and talented people. On the other hand, Love never evaluates others by theses superficial standards and looks much deeper into the person. Love recognizes that regardless of the others appearances, they’re experiences are they same as ours: they want inner mental peace, happiness, and wish to be from suffering. When we’re attached, we’re not mentally, emotionally, & spiritually free. For we overly depend on, and cling to another person, to fulfill our emotional, mental, and spiritual needs. We fear losing the person, fearing that we’d be incomplete without them.” This does Not mean that we should suppress all our emotional needs, or become aloof, and totally independent, for that too would not solve the problem. We must simply realize our unrealistic needs and slowly, gently and patiently – seek to eliminate them. If we try to suppress them, pretending they do not exist, we become insecure, anxious, or possibly depressed. In this case, we do our best to fulfill our needs, while simultaneously working gradually to subdue them. The core problem is that most of us seek to be loved, rather than to love. We yearn to be understood by others, rather than to understand them. Our sense of emotional insecurities comes from the selfish obscuring of our own minds. We develop confidence by recognizing our inner potential to become a Selfless human being, having many magnificent qualities, then we’ll develop and have an accurate perception of ourselves, gaining self-confidence. We’ll seek to increase true unconditional love, to increase compassion, to cultivate patience, as well as generosity, right concentration and wisdom. Under the influence of attachment, we’re bound by our unstable emotional reactions to others. When they’re nice to us, we’re happy, but when they ignore us or speak sharply to us, we take it personally, and are unhappy. But pacifying attachment doesn’t mean we become hard-hearted, rather without attachments, there will be space in our hearts and minds for genuine affection and impartial love for them. And as a result, we’ll be more actively involved with them. As we learn to transform our minds & lives, through subduing our attachments, we can definitely have successful friendships, and personal relationships with others. These relationships will be richer, more meaningful because of the freedom and respect the relationships are based on. We’ll really care about the happiness and misery of all human beings equally, simply because everyone is the same inside: we all want inner peace of mind, Happiness, and to be from suffering.
However, of course, our lifestyles and interests may be a bit more compatible with some people. Our friendships and our personal relationships will be based on mutual interests, and to help other people. Having such an attitude, we’ll be much More Patient, & tolerant toward others; will remain mentally calm, having Peace of Mind and Happiness, and we’ll communicate successfully with others in life.*