The man I have been seeing for 6 weeks, gave me very nice perfume as a Valentine's Day gift. He commented that he liked the perfume I had been wearing, but he wanted to get me a fragrance that he picked out. When I told some of my friends about it, they thought it sounded possessive and that he didn't want me wearing the perfume I wore with the man I previously dated. My friends feel it is a red flag that he may be too possessive or controlling. What does everyone else think? I would love to hear thoughts from both men and women.
2007-02-15 02:31:33 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I don't think so. My beau gave me a perfume too as a gift and eventhough he knows I still have perfumes! I think it's sweet of him coz I do like the fragrance.(light, sweet & sensual) It defines how you are to him. Just try to appreciate and don't listen too much on what others tell you coz you have your own mind.
Avoid being paranoid, it's not healthy for a growing relationship. Good luck!
(- -,)
2007-02-15 02:42:51 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't sound like that to me. If he told you that he like the scent that you have always worn, but he thought you would also like one that he picked out--thats ok. Now it would be different if he told you not to wear that particular perfume anymore. But it sounds like, he was just making a nice gesture, he smelled something nice and thought it would smell better on you and be a great gift for you. Don't let your friends fill your head up with negative things, if theres no actual proof that you can see with your own eyes. Be glad that he gave you a gift, there are a lot of women out here that do have possessive boyfriends and don't get any gifts at all. Keep your head up and eyes open.
2007-02-15 02:38:20 · answer #2 · answered by Sharon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not at all. Some fragrances are more pleasant to some ppl than to others. He just wanted to get you a nice gift of a perfume that HE likes. Nothing wrong with that. Wear one then the other, no use in wasting the old stuff.
2007-02-15 02:36:22 · answer #3 · answered by capnemo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, does he know that the scent you wore was from an ex-boyfriend? You're friends were quite quick to judge, I think. Are they single, do they not want to lose their friend to a relationship?
I'm a guy and have given and received colognes/perfumes before. If I wear one that I was given, does it remind me of the person who gave it to me? Maybe, but not all the time. Did I give perfume to girlfriends so they don't wear scents they wore before? No.
Has he asked you NOT to wear your other scent? If so, you can come to two conclusions: he's allergic, or he is immature - give the perfume back and walk.
2007-02-15 02:40:48 · answer #4 · answered by Slimslimmer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I find it flattering. Tell him that you wore the perfume yesterday and received compliments from your friends and some guy. What is his visual reaction? I wouldn't wear the perfume for the first week or so while you are around him, stick to your old. Show him you are not His possession
2007-02-15 02:38:53 · answer #5 · answered by sunset 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is freaky that he said that he doesn't want you wearing the perfume that you wore with your previous boyfriend, with him. You may want to keep your eyes open to other things too. It is sweet that he went to the extent to pick out a new perfume for you.
Put him to a test -wear the new perfume with him, then next time you get together with him, wear the old perfume and see how he reacts. If he gets mad, you know it is time to get out and it is better to find that out early.
2007-02-15 02:37:58 · answer #6 · answered by Jo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it's a red flag. I'd call it a yellow flag at worst.
No matter what kind of past they might have had, most men don't like getting reminders of their girlfriend's past thrown at them. Is it reasonable? No. But so it goes. I don't know that this is worth picking a fight over, but one question I would consider asking him if I were you was whether HIS EX wore the scent he gave you. You might be able to catch him out in a double standard. THAT would p*** me off.
If that's not the case, just keep your eyes peeled for other signs of possessiveness.
2007-02-15 02:34:16 · answer #7 · answered by kcbranaghsgirl 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In any new relationship, true colors generally don't come out until at least the 2nd or 3rd month, for both of you. Couples tend to be more comfy after the wooing stage. Although you should always look for warning signs of any kind of abuse or possessiveness, sometimes a gift is just a gift.
2007-02-15 02:39:37 · answer #8 · answered by silent*scream 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey don't tell your friends I said this but theyre effing jealous. This is what females do. They **** with you head and ruin a good thing before it even starts. Take it for what it is. Most likely he really likes you and wanted to do something nice. Maybe he didn't like the perfume you were wearing. I don't know but either way unless he told you to throw out your perfume he's good. Tell those jealous wenches to go **** themselves.
2007-02-16 19:54:17 · answer #9 · answered by ihateidiots 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
did he say you had to wear it all the time? sometimes friends give lousy advice. How long have you been with this guy 6 weeks?. All you have to do is go out into public with him and talk to a guy while he is around you. look at his face expressions and examine his reactions. if he is possessive and jealous he will get pissed and fast. you do need to find out if he is though, you are not an object, you are a human, your not personal property that can be controlled. Oh and when i mean talk to another guy while he is around, i mean casually about the weather or something.
2007-02-15 02:37:05 · answer #10 · answered by aphotic nostrum 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋