they dated for over two years....he really hurt her when they broke up.....but to me it feels like she loved him way more than she loves me....I know she loves me cause when I mention this to her she starts to cry and tells me not to leave....I really hate when she does this like I might be sitting there talking to her then she just freezez up and gets upset cause shes thinkin about this other guy...that makes me feel bad....it messes with my mind....she say its getting better...what should I say or do to make her heal quicker....I did something really nice for valentines she said it helped alot it made her feel wanted and speacial and like no other girl in the world matteres help me out please......leaving is not an option cause I really do love her(by the way were both 20/college students)
2007-02-15 02:30:27 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Us girls will always have feeling for our exes (sometimes) because we get really emotionally involved. Tell her how you feel and tell her you are willing to give her space and sort out her feelings. She needs to be over him in order to be with you. It's unfair if her mind is on her ex when she is with you. Send her flowers often, write poems and cards to cheer her up.You don't say how long ago they broke up, but i know you're feeling like you're a rebound for her at the moment... Cheer up and she'll soon realise how wonderful you are for her. Keep spoiling her and telling how you feel about her... that's what she needs right now... LOVE which her ex took away from her...
2007-02-15 02:36:28 · answer #1 · answered by Me! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Heya.. LOVE is individual thing.. We can give you the exact answer but some tips..
Here! go to this blog, http://ashiemulberry.blogs.friendster.com/mulberry_world/
Under 'E changes in hormone while in a relationship..' You'll understand something that some people don't get it and always ask WHY?
Btw, i find u contradicting with yrself as u 1st said she still loves her EX and then u said u KNOW she LOVEs u.. So like i said, follow yr heart, tell her how you really exactly how u felt that she still in love with her ex, this will remind her that she is NOT doing or acting in the right way on front of her current ex(human basic instinct).. Then from there see what's her response.. I'm sure u'll know what to do next.. U're the man =)
*sometime, people don't know how to differenciate between feeling as a close friend(liking) and love. Once a person had any contact with you, they DOES leave MEMORY in u that u'll sometime somehow recalled it.. Well some people also don't know how to differenciates memory and NOW, e present..
Hope this help.. Ashley
2007-02-15 02:47:13 · answer #2 · answered by HealthyU&me 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she really cares for you, then stay with her and tough it out because in the end it will make your relationship stronger. But if she is just using you so that she isn't lonely, then get out. So really evaluate the relationship and see if you are getting anything you need from it. I know she is healing and having a hard time, but you have needs too. She needs to make you feel loved and wanted as well. Just talk to her and tell her that you understand how she is hurting and that you want to help her, but that you are hurting too. Tell her that you also need to feel special cared for, and that you want for things to work out between the two of you.
2007-02-15 02:39:25 · answer #3 · answered by Sari 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's nothing you can do to make her get over him. The only thing that'll do it is time, and even that doesn't work sometimes. She's not ready to be in another relationship though until she actually is over him or at least can put him out of her mind where she's not daydreaming of him when she's with you. Sure you love her, but maybe you should take some time apart (not break up, just not talk for a couple of weeks) so that she'll have some time to miss you like she's missing him and realize that she wants you in her life. That'll get her headed in the direction of getting over him, but the rest is up to her and time.
2007-02-15 02:37:04 · answer #4 · answered by Kelly 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's nothing that you can do to help other than be with her and hope she will slowly get over him. Whenever you catch her thinking about him, just tell her it was his loss. I know you said that leaving isn't an option but it really sounds like she jumped into a relationship a little too soon and could use sometime alone to figure out what she want and to figure out that the relationship with her ex is truly over.
2007-02-15 02:37:48 · answer #5 · answered by Just D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's up to her to decide to let go of the past. Sounds like y'all started dating before she was ready. A new relationship should not begin before the previous one has closure and the people involved are emotionally ready to move forward.
Although you have feelings for her, and she probably does for you, it sounds more like she's with you because she'd rather not be alone than with you because of how much she likes you.
If you don't want to come in 2nd in her life, then you'll need to step back and let her work through her issues and move forward only when she's over her ex. Until then, you're basically just the guy she turned to, to help keep her from feeling lonely.
2007-02-15 02:36:11 · answer #6 · answered by . 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
nothing she will always b in love with him no matter what u do even if he did hurt her he was a big part of her life for 2 years all i can say is to b patient a little longer if u really love her the way u say u do than u will do this i hoped i helped u
2007-02-15 02:38:49 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have an ex that really hurt you, its tough and for somereason women never get over it, untill they are completely in love with soemone else. My secopnd last ex hurt me so badly it was unbelievable. When I found my last partner I started to forget (although soemtimes I still thought about it) and then my last partner hurt me and that started the whole cycle. I think you should traet her the best you can and see what happens...
2007-02-15 03:10:15 · answer #8 · answered by Sophie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how long has it been since they broke up? she probably just needs time. as for me, it took a while too to forget my ex, even if i have a new bf and i do love him, i still thought about the ex. my current bf didnt even try doing anything to help me heal..i mean, deliberately.
eventually, it just happened. i dont get upset anymore. but your gf has to know she has to work hard on this, the effort to forget must first and foremost come from her. erase/throw/delete/avoid anything that can remind her of him. with time, the feelings will fade. you're on the right track.
goodluck =)
2007-02-15 02:39:59 · answer #9 · answered by rinkumi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't make her get over him. She will always be affected by the relationship, but if you give it enough time you will see that you have a bigger impact on her. My husband of almost 7 years gave me the time I needed, because of that i am a differant person
2007-02-15 02:37:54 · answer #10 · answered by cutie322434 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋