my grandma just died yesterday. Will I ever get over it?

Question

I just read somewhere that people never get over it when a loved one dies and it will always make u terribly sad throughout ur life. I love being happy, but I just can't help feeling excruciating pain off and on throughout the day. She was the most compassionate person a live and I constantly felt lonely and no one else was there form. She called me almost every night of the week to see how I was doing and to make sure everything was ok and how I needed to stay on top of things. She actually was going on a trip because her sister is not feeling well and is in bad condition to. Well, on that trip she was sent to the emergency room. My dad comes in my room in tears yesterday and breaks me the news. I told him to calm down and that everything was going to be ok. I was calm and I calmed him at first. But then, I start crying throughout the day. I feel like piece of me is missing inside and I will never get it back. I'm scared because what happens when the rest of my family goes. I'll be:(

Thank u all for your kind answers. I read each of them in depth several times. They each helped me, some of them made me laugh and feel better while other were very enlightening and some ofu have gone through the same. Your answers truly mean a great deal to me and thank u all so much and I'm sorry for the losses each of you has experienced as well. Thank for taking you time out to help me.

These letters are truly encouraging. I'm read all my new ones. It helps me get through the mourning. All of you guys. Thank you!

Answer 1

honey listen im soo sorry about your grandma, i know how you feel. i lost my mom when i was 13 and im 17 now. your grandma did all that stuff because she loved you , you were just like one of her kids
its ok to hurt and its ok of to cry ,just know she will be waiting for you someday up there, and you need to make her proud of you honey im soo sorry i know she was your light on the darkest of days
but now your familly needs you and just be there for them too
the pain never goes but it gets easyer if you think of it this way
i better be good now and make something outta myself and make granny proud of me so she wont chew me out on judgemnt day and she willalways be with you watching you and yes things will get better but this highway of heatache is rocky and rough lord i learned that along time ago my suggestion is to listen to alot of music and be there especially for momand dad

Answer 2

I'm deeply sorry for your loss. Death isn't easy to overcome if you have any compassion for people at all. I lost my first child when he was 19 months old and I thought it was the end of my life. The person who died has it made in heaven, it's the survivors who live in hell on earth afterwards. Believe me when I say that God and Time heal all things. My son died in 1984 and there are still days it seems as though it was just yesterday and I'll still cry, but I have learned to deal with it and be grateful for the time that I was given him. Memories are a wonderful thng and over the years, they get sweeter and sweeter. Cherish them and they will last forever! My son may have died in '84, but there's never been a day that he wasn't with me!
I pray that you find this peace within you soon.

Answer 3

First I am very sorry for your loss... You will get through this.. I was very,very close to my pe`pe` and I was a 16 when he died..I can tell you that I thought my life at that time I would never get over his death..He was a very loving me and the day he died was Valentines Day at 8:10pm It takes time to get over a death,But that doesn't mean you don't have to keep the memories alive..I still think of him all the time still but now it is all the great times we had together not his death..I also still think of him on Valentines Day he was a loving guy and he passed way on a loving day...Trust me in time and it won't be over night you will get through this time is what it takes..You can talk to your Dr. about how you feel and they can give you ideas on how to handle this or they can give you places to help you handle this..GOOD LUCK

Answer 4

It's so hard when you loose someone so loved. I lost my mom last year and i was devastated. It hurts like hell at first but trust me it does get easier. I know this has only just happened so allow yourself time to grieve. In time it will get easier, you will always miss her but out of respect and love for her you must carry on and make her proud and be the very best person you can possibly be. When i have a bad day and i'm missing mom more than usual, i think of her in a positive way and all her funny little ways and it makes me smile. Try to think of good times. God bless.x

Answer 5

I'm very sorry for your loss. You never get over missing the ones you love but the pain does lessen. You will one day think about your grandma and smile, you'll think of the good times but there will be other times that you will be sad. Loosing the ones you love is hard and there are no easy answers for getting through it.

Answer 6

I am so sorry and your post brought tears to my eyes. I hate seeing people suffer. While it is most painful to remember how sweet your grandma was to you, it may help to remember how fortunate you were to have had her and her love as many people don't have good or caring parents and grandparents.

My mom has been given 6 months to live. It is hard as she is often mean and critical and uncaring towards me and shows no desire to try to reconsile before her death. I will not only have grief but anger and sorrow about her critiicsms, cruelty. and favoritism making it harder to heal. you will heal...trust me..;it will not always be like this but we humans have no choice but to go through th pain and healing or at least less pain is on the other side.
If your grandma who one of the first deaths you experienced, it will hit particularly hard knowing you were close and also seeing the sadness of your parent/s, Hopefully, they will be with you many years to come. Your dad will likely hurt even more as this was his mom and we only get one mom. When you are strong, he may be weak and when you are weak, he may be strong for you..some times you will both be strong and weak together.

It is normal to cry in fact it is necessary to heal..Elizabeth Kubler Ross defines the stages of grief and their overlap..you may feel bargaining, depression, denial, anger and acceptance at different times and intensity during your journey to healing..

At the end is acceptance..they may always be a hole there in your heart but it wil not be intense like now. My dad was the closest person in my life. I loved him dearly and then I thought I would never get over it but in 6 months it was so much better and by a year, I had done most of the healing work..so time does heal ALL wounds no matter how painful it feels now. I am also sad for her sister. It is normal to be afraid of death but if we have faith in God we know she is happy and in a place of no tears or sorrow and someday you will see each other again in a place of happiness and no death and sorrow.

Treasure your memories. It is very common to be flooded with memory after memory when someone dies. My favorite aunt died this week and it was hard knowing my mom will soon be there..I am sorry for you, dear and hope you will feel better soon and heal well,

Answer 7

No I don't believe anyone ever actually gets over losing a love one. But it does get better. My daddy died about 3 years ago. I thought it was going to absolutly kill me because we were so close. I cried for awhile...and if it wasn't for my husband and children being so supportative of me during this time I probably wouldn't have ever gotten through it. Good support is always helpful through times like this. I still think about my daddy ever now and then and miss him soo- much. Lean toward your dad. He is hurting too and ya'll will be able to help each other through this together.

Answer 8

My dad passed away in 05 so it's still pretty raw for me too. I know the pain you speak of, it feels like it forms in the depth of your stomach and its more than a pain, it's an ache. I told myself the pain felt so deep because of the meaning he had in my life, which I'm sure you're feeling too with the loss of your grandmother. When people hold such deep meaning to us and their value adds to our value, of course it's hard letting go. You have to go through a period of mourning, coming to terms with what has happened. I won't say time will heal your heart, but time does take the edge off the pain. Just allow yourself to feel what you're going through, don't try and repress it. When you feel like crying, cry. Even to the point of sobbing....you have to have release for what you are feeling. Over time you will be able to come to terms with her passing, and you will remember things about her you thought you had forgotten. And I promise you that you will cherish her for the rest of your life. Your heart will keep her memory alive.

Answer 9

When we loose someone it does feel as a part of us has gone. By the grace of God I pray he will touch you and comfort you from your loss. Remember, your grandmother is in heaven with the Father and there is no more pain for her.
You were very close to your grandmother. Just think on the good times you shared together and keep her memory close to your heart. As time goes by the things she taught you will come to mind and you will use them in your life.
Time heals all wounds. You will be fine. Continue to love and share every moment with your family and be sure to tell them you love them everyday. None of us know when we will leave this earth and go to heaven to the Father. God will comfort you, just ask God.

Answer 10

Sorry to hear that. I was just thinking about my grandma who passed away this past fall. She was similar to me, just like you and yours. Through time you will slowly start to feel better, though you'll probably always have your sad days/happy days for awhile. It's been 5 months for me, and today is actually one of those days where you just wish she was with you to see the sun shining outside. Just make sure you remember her great qualities. Try to talk with friends and family about it, and try to go out and relax so you don't venture into a depression or anything. good luck = )

Answer 11

Of course you feel empty inside, you will slowly start to feel better it does take time, and for some it takes a longer period of time over the death of a loved one. with some people, having the funeral helps in this process, and for others, they deal with it in different ways. Write down a letter to you Grandmother, everything you would like to say, keep it for awhile, it does help get your feelings out, instead of keeping them bottled up, Your grandmother, wouldn't want you to dwell on her passing, but to remember some of the great times you and her had together, sounds like alot of them. I am sorry for your sudden loss. Take care, and god bless to you and your family.