I have recently become engaged. My fiance and I decided on having four couples stand up....4 of his best friends and 4 of mine. This would mean my brother is left out. My brother and I aren't super close but we talk usually once a week and he is family. Do I create another spot as a groomsman or do you think it's ok that he does not stand up? I think I already know what I need to do, I just want some other input.
2007-02-15 01:57:26 · 19 answers · asked by Smiles 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
The question is, do you want to include him because you want him to be part of it, or do you want to include him because you think you should?
It would be nice to say that if you're including him just because you think you should, that you shouldn't. But you do have to consider his feelings. People can get really bent out of shape over weddings. You should probably think about how others will see his being left out-like your mom and his siginficant other. Family politics can make us miserable. If you think it could get messy, include him to avoid it.
You could always just ask him if he'd like to play a part and what sort of part if so.
2007-02-15 08:35:55 · answer #1 · answered by Happy Wife 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You definately should have a role for your brother in your wedding. He doesn't necessarily have to be a groomsman, but maybe he can give a reading during the ceremony, or seat your mother or grandmother, etc. There are a lot of ways to involve him in your wedding. If you talk with him usually once a week, then I'd consider that a very good relationship. You definately should find some way to include him.
2007-02-15 10:02:52 · answer #2 · answered by Veronica W 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Include your brother - somewhere. He's family and you do talk about once a week. Create a spot for him.
You'll hurt his feelings and you surely don't want to ruin a family relationship. Let him be a groomsman and let him escort someone special down the aisle. You know it's the right thing to do. He'll always be your brother.
2007-02-15 10:09:37 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its totally fine. You should have the people you want, not the people you think you are obligated to have, stand up with you. I am sure he wont even bat an eyelash at not being asked to be a groomsman.
If you are still feeling though that you want him in the wedding some how there are lots of other jobs he could do. A reading, a prayer, carrying the host if you have communion. Theres oodles of stuff he can do to be a part of your day, but I bet he will be happy with just an invitation.
2007-02-15 10:22:34 · answer #4 · answered by kateqd30 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your brother needs to be a groomsmen. You can find another bridesmaid if you want to, or kick out one of the other groomsmen. But unless there are bad relations between you and your brother, he does need to be a part of your wedding. And really, in 20 years, your brother will still be around. I bet most of your close friends won't be.
2007-02-15 12:23:50 · answer #5 · answered by Pink Denial 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He doesnt need to be a groomsman, but you do need to find a place for him as he is and will always be a part of your life.
My brother actually gave me away, something I suppose he always wanted to do. While you are making plans see where he fits in best for you. Escorting your mother is one great idea, she'll probally need the support too.
2007-02-15 10:08:25 · answer #6 · answered by G's Random Thoughts 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your groom and see if one more person would hurt, and that it would be nice to have your brother. But its really not nessasary. I really dont think i will be having my brothers in mine, and i am close to them both. Theres just way too many people if i add them and my groom adds his friends too. But having them still part of this day can happen. Have them usher or do a reading, or they can do a speach. Making sure that just because they are not standing as a grooms man that hes still part of this special day.
CONGRADS
2007-02-15 15:00:41 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes u do create another spot 4 your brother hes family, dat would probably hurt him if hes not in da happiest day of his sisters life, do the right thing.
2007-02-15 10:04:05 · answer #8 · answered by Lauren 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want him to be part of the wedding but not a groomsman, maybe an usher.
2007-02-15 13:28:30 · answer #9 · answered by Amber C 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well who is giving you away? if your fatheris not around let him walk u down.. or you can give him a different position/job at the wedding... I dont think he would be offended that he was not in the wedding party... as long as you invite him he should be happy for you.. this is ur day and it seems like you are having Friends in the wedding party not family he will understand. dont force something in that you dont want
And enjoy ur special day!!!
2007-02-15 10:09:46 · answer #10 · answered by Christal 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋