How Can We Get Respect From Dogs?

Question

It may be too late, but our family is desperate for respect from our two dogs. One is nine and the other is 12. They have largely always been disobedient dogs, but since my dad died they have seemed to have gotten much worse. He was the only one who could command any respect from them! They bark c-o-n-s-t-a-n-t-l-y, sometimes they just start barking for no reason. They sneak and steal food. They get in the cat's litter box. We are at our wit's end. The thing is, it sounds like we've always let them do what they want, but that isn't so. All of their lives we've tried to teach them and it's just NOT worked. We even took the older one to obedience school. When I try to command respect, like my dad did, the dogs don't take me seriously... but they act afraid of me. If I come into the room, the younger dog actually shakes. I'VE NEVER DONE A THING TO THESE DOGS. Secondly, why do they act afraid of me but still run rampant however they want? I don't get it. How can we find a happy solution?

Answer 1

Since most dogs really want to please, they may just not realize what you want from them. The best way to communicate this is to use positive reinforcement as a training tool. So, when you ask them to stop doing something, ask them in a calm voice, then praise and pet them when they do anything good. Make a big deal about it, raise your voice higher and say "good dog". Because of their reaction of fear, It does not sounds like punishing them would be any way to go. Just go the positive reinforcement route....

Since they bark constantly, you can try telling them to stop, and praiseing them if they do, but if they still don't stop, you might want to invest in a "bark collar" which delivers a mild shock when they bark. Does not hurt very much, just enough to motivate them not to bark. Some ppl think it is cruel, I think it is crueller to have dogs that are always being yelled at and feeling in trouble.

As far as the litterbox, I would put it in a closet or any other place with a door on it, then install a cat door which will let the cat get in to do it's business, and keep the dogs out since dogs are usually bigger. If you can't do that, just stay on it and never let any cat "mess" build up, so there is no temptation.

The only other thing I did with one of my 3 dogs was when he would go nuts when we would have company come to the door, and not stop when I asked, I would shut him in a room away from everyone. Since he hated not being out and part of things, this motivated him to make the connection between his bad behavior and my shutting him in the room. He is much better now.

I have found that positive reinforcement, and avoidance of temptation to misbehave are the 2 best dog training tools. Love on them more, snuggle with them and let you know how much you cherish them and they will want to move a mountain to please you. Good luck :-)

PS- Sorry about your dad... I will put your family in my prayers.

Answer 2

First of all I'm so happy that you and your family are trying everything to make things work before doing something drastic. Here are some tips; For barking take a small tin and put some coins, small rocks, beans, anything that will make enough noise to get their attention. When they start to bark shake it and in a stern voice give the command "No Bark". This will take a bit of time but should work, but remember barking is their way of communicating with us as well as each other so their will always be something getting their attention. Another technique is to take a dish cloth and pop it against your thigh, This is called a "Mapina" (Italian), it can be just as effective.

As for respect and trust that is a little bit harder to obtain especially when their Alpha , your dad, is no longer there to lay down the rules. I know with my own dogs as puppies my husband and I both would role them over on their backs until they would stop wiggling to show dominance and for the most part it has save us a lot of hassle. Now alll we have to do is "growl" at are JRT and she knows she has done something wrong. I don't know how big your dogs are so this may or may not work, but feel free to try it.

If you have the time put the dogs on a leash and have them go every where with you, and I do mean every where! If you get up to the kitichen they go, if you go to the bathroom they go, and so on. This lets them know that you are the New Alpha and will no longer put up with there behavor! This of course will take some time but you should see a change in their behaivor in a week or two.
Hope this helps.

Answer 3

Become the pack leader.

A pack leader will command respect in two ways.
1. Voice
2. Rewards/Punishments.

Your voice will tell a dog if it has done wrong. Basically a low "bark like" sound will do. LOW is the key. "NO!" Is a good one. This will sound (to the dog) like the Alpha dog is barking at them.

Then mumble and grumble (in a low voice) when you have to fix the mess they made or whatever, that will let them know you are not happy (like a Alpha Dog growling).

You must also be ready to reward any good behaviour. If you are constantly angry at the dog it will fear you. It needs are reason to obey you. In the pack the Alpha will reward the lower dogs by giving them rewards (food mainly, or attention). You should do the same.

You can also use your voice as a reward. IT really doesn;t matter what you say, as long as it is in a high pitched voice.

The low and high voices are vital. This is why sometimes females get less respect from dogs.

BTW, you shouldn't hit a dog unless you really need to (it is biting a baby or something) usually the low pitched grumbling etc. will do.

Dogs are not humans, they see you as another funny looking dog.

Answer 4

He was their "Pack leader". They have decided to step up now that he is gone. By the way, I am sorry for your loss. You need to act as the alpha, the pack leader. When you tell them to do something, you have to EXPECT it to happen. I know you're gonna say, "well, I do". The thing is, if you honestly believe it WILL happen, the dog can sense the extra confidence in your voice. And, if they are at all disobedient, you MUST get angry and physically correct them, IMMEDIATELY.

For instance, if the dog even LOOKS at your food, say NO in a loud voice. If that is not enough, say NO loudly as you stand up and lean toward to the dog quicly. Make yourself loud and big and threatening all at the same time. Now, I would never tell you to actually hit your dog or abuse him. But you need to appear to have that potential.

A good correction tool is an empy soda can filled with pennies (well, like 10-15 pennies) and the hole sealed. When shaken, the can makes a startling sound. you shake the can once at the same time as saying NO, which may command more attention.

If the situation is very bad, buy some baby gates or close some doors and contain the dogs to where you can always see them. If they are being good, praise them A LOT, with hugs and petting and belly rubs, and occationally a treat. But your repremands must be just as intense. You must say NO and MAKE the dog obey. If he is up on a couch where he is not allowed, feel free to pick him up quickly and put him on the ground roughly while sayign NO. You need to prove that there are direct consequences for disobeying. Just like children, the dogs are questioning your authority and if you let them get away with it then they always will. Think of a proper punishment for barking, like saying "quet" then ignoring them for 10 minutes. If they stop barking, praise them. If not, keep ignoring them. They want your attention, don't play into their hands.

Also, you say they steal scraps and get into the litterbox. You need to take preventative measures for this, like not leaving scraps around to be stolen, and moving the litterbox to a place only the cat can get to, either up high or in a room with only a small opening ot get in. If you make it harder for them to do wrong, you'll make it easier on yourself. Make a habit of scanning a room before you leave it and cleaning up anything you don't want in your dog's mouth. THis way, you're helping them be betterdogs, as well. Granted, they SHOULD eventually be good enough not to touch imnappropriate things. But that will take time. You are starting from scratch, so treat them as you would a new puupy.

I amm a fan of crate training, you may want to look into that. But, the crate should never be punishment.

Good Luck!

Answer 5

firstly if the dog is afraid of you then you need to gain its confidence if it is afraid of you then it will give the opposite effect of what you are trying to achieve.never ever shout at your dogs all that does is show your frustration,use a calm firm and controlled voice and never give an inch,people go wrong in the fact they tell the dog what to do but do not enforce it when the dog ignores them,tell them to sit and if they do not then firmly push them into a sitting position so they know you mean what you say and make sure you do this everytime they ignore you.also keep your commands to a single word,never use sit down,stick to the one word commands and make the whold family aware of what you are using that way you will not get the dogs becomning confused by some using one word and some 2 words.it may seem hard but it does work.as far as the barking get yourself a half litre plastic bottle and put some grains of rice in it or you could use a whistle,when the barking starts just give it a good shake and it will distract the dog from barking,alternately blow the whistle to distract the dog from barking,once distracted you have its attention and can then praise it for coming and listening,always use praise on a dog that does as its told and dont be afraid to have treats in your pocket and give them as a reward,and finally if anyone says you cant teach an old dog new tricks then tell em i said thats rubbish,i retrained a bad behaved jack russell at 8 years old and he now goes for walks passing other dogs and crossing roads without even having a lead on and he had never been out much and hardly ever seen the outside world or people.
good luck.

Answer 6

I hope that you can find another class, with a positive trainer. Look here to find one:
http://www.apdt.com/po/ts/default.aspx

This time, do your homework and participate in the class. Also, some reading for you:
http://www.dogwise.com/itemdetails.cfm?ID=DTB464

Management around your house will help. If they are getting into the litter box, you need to move it so that they can't. A dog who's practiced self-rewarding behaviors like taking food and getting into the litter box is not going to stop, no matter how loudly you yell. Take some time to learn about how dogs learn and you will be able to turn the situation around.
Your dogs are not "acting" - they are afraid of you. Learn how to work with them positively so that your relationship improves.

Answer 7

The answer is within yourself. You cannot force dogs to respect you, but you will earn it by providing them with rules, boundaries and limitations. If obedience class didn't work, you either had a bad teacher, or you didn't do any homework with the dogs. You can't expect to go to class once a week and have the dog learn something. You have to work on it everyday, even after class is finished. Dogs always want to be lead.

I recommend you find another obedience class, and in the meantime, read up on dog behavior. Cesar Millan has a great book, as does Patricia O'Connell (The other end of the leash) and The Dog Listener by Jan Fennell.

Answer 8

Your Dad was obviously the Alpha in the house - Now that he's gone (I'm so sorry for your loss...), you need to take over the Alpha position. What they are trying to do is show dominance and take over as the new Alpha. Keep doing what you're doing and make sure they know you're the boss. It may also be worth hiring an Animal behaviorist to come into your home and work with you and the dogs - Your vet is the best resource for providing a recommendation.

Answer 9

I am not a dog expert, but your dogs sound like my baby a cocker spaniel. I recently bought a spray bottle and whenever she does something wrong I pull out the bottle (which she hates) and I make her just sit. After being srayed in the face with water she usually behaves. My dog just never takes punishment seriously and your dogs don't either.
Also lock them in their crates as soon as they do something wrong and when they start the annoying barking... just ignore it and your dogs will realize it doesn't bother you.
My dog acts as if she is afraid of me but only when we have company and people sometimes think I abuse my dog... which I don't I love her. Maybe you are raising my dog parents.

Good luck but try the spray bottle.

Answer 10

Get in touch with dr. dog. He has an on line e-mail address and a radio show. He is excellent and over 30 years experiance in animal behavior. He's a true PROFFESSIONAL.