what to do about a 6 year old girl who acts like she is 16.?

Question

I have a 6 year old daughter that most of her life so far was very respectful, never talked back, and listened when told to do something/or not to do something. Now within the past year doesn't listen, and is rude, and disrespectful. Thinks she can do what ever she wants, and act how ever she wants! Any suggestions?

my daughter is disaplined. The others she is around are also. I am not sending her away thanks any how, she is my daughter and i love her.

rebal my daughter is never on the computer unless she is on with me, and we are on sites for her to read for school, or do math. thank you anyhow

also to update so more are not confused I do discipline my daughter when i say i am going to do something i stick to it, and do not back out of what i say.

Answer 1

I am going to go old fashion on you (what else would you expect from someone with my name) and suggest strict consequences, which include SPANKING. I have had two 6 year olds, and one approaching that age. You need to assign a consequence for everything she does. Make sure your teaching why your doing what your doing, and how she can avoid the consequence. From my experience, it needs to be like military mom when they get into one of their funks. Strict, strict, strict!! For example, with mine it's our 3 strikes policy: 1 Warning, 2 Time out, or taking away toys/playtime, 3 Spanking. This is with minor stuff, for more serious behaviors such as lying, getting in trouble at school, tantrums (at her age), saying bad words, dangerous situations, and direct defiance need to be met with a SPANKING. Write all of this down, and if she breaks one of these rules, read off the rule she broke, and enforce the consequence (spanking). Also, when it comes to spanking, I am going more old school on you, don't do the modern day swat to the tush, take down pants and undies, put her over your lap, and give her a healthy spanking. That's the way they should be done, that is the most productive, and result driven method of spanking. I know what your going through, IT'S NOT BAD PARENTING, YOU DON'T HAVE TO SEND THEM OFF TO MILITARY SCHOOL. Don't allow people to make you feel bad, she is just going through a stage, how you deal with it will determine weather or not she will continue this type of behavior. I have been in your shoes, email me should you need support. I enjoy chatting with other moms w/daughters.
Don't put to much thought on all the people attacking you, they haven't walked in your shoes!

Good Luck

Answer 2

How are the kids around her at school?

She might be picking up behaviors from other children and going to use them to develope her own self identity. She is at the age of developing her own self identity.

I work at an elementry and there is those few kids who are honest, quiet and respectful. I was shocked to start seeing one of them lying and then giving a very rude response/attitude to me. Behaviors they learn from school, home life and change in hormons.

She might be testing her "waters" and seeing what she can too, if any, get away with.

She might also be fusturated, something bothering her like being bullied or hurt by someone else and depression, which all have been linked to children acting out in situations.

Know what shows she is watching on t.v and other family member's actions. I remember I thought I could cuss when I was 8 because my couins were allowed to infront of their parents. Little did I know, my mom would NOT tolerate that. So yeah, I tested "waters" myself.

Have a talk with her and ask if anything is bothering her, anything going on at school etc.

Know who her friends are and how they act.

Have a teacher/parent confrence to discuss this issue and have the teacher have a talk with her as well to get more feedback from another perspective.

Do what you are doing with adding more to it. Stick to it and make sure the punnishment meets with the "crime".

Answer 3

I think you should often remind her that she is 6 and not 16. I have a 6 year old also she does the same thing. I think it comes from them being around children in school, or it could come from something there watching on T. V, older sibling or relative
or she may listen to you when you talk on the phone to your friends. It's just a matter of how we as parents act and observe our children.and still let her know you are the parent and what she is doing will cause her not to get rewards. Play tough
mommy sometimes. My personal opinion there is no book out there that can tell me whats going on with my child. She still is only 6.

Answer 4

Has she just started school? When my little ones started school they thought they could act like all the other disrespectful brats in their classes. If this is so, you might want to talk to the teacher to see how she is interacting with the other kids and if the teacher has advice. If a teacher has been around for awhile, they have seen things like this before and may be able to offer some advice. At the very least they will then know that your little girl hasn't always acted that way and may be able to gently steer her to a new crowd.

There really isn't a quick fix for this to be honest. She's testing you now. You have to change your whole way of parenting to adjust to her new attitude. Most likely weren't firm with her before ONLY because you didn't need to be and it will probably be difficult for you to be firm with her now. You may think that you're being harsh or mean, but you're not (at least I hope not *grin*). Always remember that YOU are the parent and you set the rules. I do like a lot of the ideas that the Nanny shows use, you might want to check them out. Also, check out these two books; "Whining, 3 ways to stop it....", ISBN 0684857421, and "Backtalk, 4 steps to end rude behavior", ISBN 068484124X, both by Audrey Ricker. There are very good parenting tips in general contained in those 2 books.

If you thought your parents did a good job with you, talk to them. Talk to her doctor. Talk to friends who have kids her age. All can offer some sort of support (and you need support). Whatever you do, don't scream or yell at her (and you will be tempted one time or another) and do not give in to demands. The moment you do that you lose all control. Don't complain in front of her that she "use to be such a good girl" or something along those lines, she may start to think you don't love her anymore.

Also, don't forget to take deep breaths when dealing with her and take care of yourself. Dealing with a newly difficult child is exhausting and you need to make sure that all of you is available for her.

Finally, like I need to say this (*grin*), love her. Love her even more than you did before.

Answer 5

Explain to her who the boss is and that she has to follow rules or she has to face consequences. Then come up w/ consequences you feel comfortable w/. Or a behavior chart. With my now 10 yr old who started w/ this behavior at 6 as well, I made a chart and he received a sticker for every hour he wasn't whiny or a smart aleck. Then at the end of the week if he had 25 stars he got a special prize. Usually a Matchbox car or something. It worked b/c he was getting good attention not bad. It helped that we were potty training his younger brother at the same time. lol

Answer 6

Well all kids make the same. Please never speak about the bad things that she does angry, so try to explain about the things that you like that make, and give something to her each week that she does it.

I were working with children during eigth months at children museum and i had discover that many time when the children turned rude is because they need be listened and don´t know the way to do. So you must be comprensive and lern about the things that she likes to do, but teach her the right way to do that because if you be serenity have more chance to make that she listen to you. All children have a time that want to be the center of the world, give her the time to do down your rules!!!

Answer 7

remember that YOU are the parent and she is the child. Do you have your roles reversed? Put her in her place at let her know that you are her mom and she will respect you and follow the rules. If she feels she can do whatever she wants is it because you have been letting her have her way? Be strong and do not give in because it will only get worse. I have 3 children 21,13,10 and they have had their moments but they do not talk back or act disrespectful. Because they will have a spanking coming their way. My kids know I mean what I say. Maybe you need consistency, when you say something to her stick to it. Don't change your mind later.

Answer 8

Wow. I have a little bro who is turning six, but he doesn't act like that. I'm 15 this year, but in my culture it may be different on how kids act with their parents. We were brought up to always respect the elders.
I suggest you should try spending some time with her; mother knows best, and I enjoy hanging out with my mom, believe it or not. Try taking her out on shopping trips, see what she likes, explore what makes her behave that way. Although she may ACT 16, she's still a child inside. Remind her about that subtly, not too many times, though, or she'll rebel worse. Try walking along rows and rows of toys, show your inner child to her, like saying, "Hey, that's really cute, isn't it?" I'm sure it might help, but don't show any signs that you're mad at her or anything when she says, "it sucks," or doesn't bother. Tell her what you used to play with, what you wanted as a child, and see whether she opens up. She's still a child, talk to her.

Answer 9

your daughter is goin up i am 13 and i was like that i got out of it when i was about 8 its because she will see people that do it an dshe will think it is ok to do sit her down and tell her its wrong and tell her it upsets you that you dont like it .however you must not shut how ever nasty or hard it is not to dont,this will make her think i make mummy shout i will do it more .

Another reason is that she might want attention and you dont give it her and by doing this she know you tell her off which is a form of attention .your daughter will never mean to hurt you in any way but all she wants to hear are the words '' i love you ''

good luck
xoxox

Answer 10

Knock her teeth out!!!! No seriously I too have a mouthy 6 going on 16 year old. So far the thing that I have found that works best is taking stuff from her that means the most. I ground her from it for an entire week and if she does something again I take it again. Still hasn't totally solved the problem but she is getting better...probably because most times she has hardly any toys and gets alot of her privileges taken away.

Answer 11

I am in the same boat with my 6 year old daughter. I honestly believe that she's just trying to push my buttons. It may have something to do with being in school and picking up bad habits from other kids. Try asking if something is bothering her and making her react in such a negative way. Pay special attention to circumstances that may be triggering outbursts. If you find your answer, please let me know!