My girlfriend says she "loves" me but is not "in love with me." What can I do to change that?

Question

By the way we've been together for 7 years and shes my high school sweet heart. And she kicked me out of the house 3 weeks ago

Answer 1

SHE LOVES YOUR MONEY BUT NOT IN LOVE WITH YOU. SIMPLE AS THAT.

Answer 2

Hi,
in the matter of love relationship like this ~ you should know that there's no one can understand the situation except the person involved in the matter.

Anyway, you didn't include further details of your problem ~ how do you know she's not love you anymore?


By the way, there's nothing that you can do to change a person's feeling towards the others -- or maybe she's just focus on her work/ study, who knows?


The best advice I can come up with is don't worry about something that you've no control over in the first place ~ this will only make your relationship turn sour once she feels you're a control freak that want to change her in terms of everything!


You can't buy love or a girl's heart too soon ~ it needs time to evolve and develop. No need to rush, no one likes people who keep pushing them - if you both are meant to be with each other, fate will lead you the destiny ahead of you.

Answer 3

Only time may change that. There's nothing you can actually say.... all you can really do is treat her the best you can, try not to argue and just talk things over with her, ...just be yourself! If she's not in love with you or never falls in love with you..thats not her fault, she cannot help how she feels. Maybe it was better off as friends if thats the case. Or maybe she just needs more time! You have to build love.....it doesnt just come out of no where. But, hey, if she does not end up in love with you....there's someone out there that will, so dont beat yourself up over it! Whatever happens happens....just take you wherever life may lead you! Lifes tooo short to dwell on things..so keep your head up and just keep goin. Hope this helped a lil...
Good Luck!

Answer 4

And you? Do you love her? Enough to let her go her own way?
That would be great.
She may change her mind one day and fall for you... who knows?
Now you can try to do all what you think she would like, bring flowers, breakfast in bed, invite her to the movie... but don't forget, love is not programmable, not easy to discipline, not money exchange and in this way...
Love yourself and try to be happy one day someone will love you back and you may be surprised to find herself asking you out in a few years or months....
An other thing about that is : a girlfriend can let you fall but a as girl friend can stay for the life

Answer 5

In society people mirror one another based on the type of person they are. If someone seems offensive, the other person will "shut" down or become defensive and not necessarily get along with that person. Your girlfriend is the way she is and reacts to you because of your personality. The only thing that you can change is you.

Answer 6

Nothing you can really do to "change" it but there are some things you can do to seriously help your situtation, for starters..when a chic says she loves you but isnt in love with you thats basically her way of saying "Hey, I care about you but your just not doing it for me anymore".
Basically her way of wanting to move on without hurting your feelings.
So what do you do, well do what I did and so many other guys have done and watch the tables turn in your favor, check our David DeAngelo, listen to his stuff, watch his videos, if you want her to love you take my advice on this...

Answer 7

Lots of people have used those phrases to
mean differently - "I really like him but don't
want to have sex with him" or "I really want
to have sex with him, but otherwise can't
stand him."

If she is looking at other guys, I think you have
your answer. If you are having sex, you might
be able to change things by temporarily getting
sex out of the relationship.

However, in all probability, this isn't going anywhere.

Answer 8

A old lady told me this once that had men chasing her like crazy in her younger days. She said the more I ignored them and even treated them like crap the more they wanted to be with me. Just don't do nothing they can hold against you. Things like turning em down for dates and not giving them so much phyisical love or attention really drove em banana's. If that still don't work say bye-bye because ther's some one out there that will love you without trying and you can just relax and be in love. I finally found that person two marriages later. I never could get my first husband to even pretend he was in love with me.

Answer 9

Unfortunately there isn't much you can do. There is no such thing as loving but not being in love. They go hand in hand. She is following the lessons learned through the romantic misconceptions learned through conditioning. She is the only one who can change her point of view on the subject of love. she may be using her rebuttal out our sheer ignorance or she is manipulating you through pseudo-romantic nonsense. She may be trying to weasel her way out of sex but wants to retain the privileges of everything else a love relationship has to offer. If you are not that into her I suggest you find yourself someone who won't play those mind games with you.

Answer 10

Nothing! trust me - and why would you want to MAKE someone be "IN LOVE" with you. As hard as it may be .. move on. Shes obviously not the one for you.

Answer 11

"Love" versus "in love":

Love - can be but a simple empty word. You may have a loved one near you but never dive into her or his love. Love needs to flow, love needs to be present and while in a physical body, such love always substantially starts in physical love.

Love versus in love is like being at the ocean without going into the ocean...how can you know by experiencing and by feeling the ocean without ever going INTO ocean ? Same with being IN LOVE you need to fully open to ALL in love, to fully surrender to the love offered TO you.

To be IN LOVE means to be always loved, always flooded with love of various kind physical, spiritual, oral, acoustic, songs and sweet *pillow talk* form the bottom of a true heart, foods/snacks prepared with love, sweet dances and sweet massages and above all sweet loving hugging, touching, loving.

I don't think you can change the way she feels inside. If you give fully of yourself to her and she doesn't return it, I think you need to find that woman who WILL.