I resent her for that so MUCH!!!!!?

Question

I was with this girl for 5 years
my job keeps me away 7-10 day at a time but than I can take off us much as I want to
4 years into the relationship she becomes unaffectionate, distant, cold all the typical behavior of a woman who wants to break up and she did....but she was back the same night with big tears telling me how sorry she was for hurting me and wants me back....since i still loved her we got back together
but I made her promise if she ever has an issue come talk to me and we work it out
she did agree to that but year later around late September early October of 2006 she start to do the same thing but worse....she would change her plans 3-4 times a day just to avoid me when I got back to town
not answer calls etc...if I was lucky enough to spend some time together she behave like a friend not a girlfriend....even in bed when we were sleeping ....no not having sex....just sleeping and I tried to take her in my arms as I did for 5 years she would push my arm away and than in the morning when I asked what was that all about she would say “oh I was just sleeping, sorry” but I know she was not
then Oct17 sweetest day after I tried to arrange some time wither and sending nice txt msg she tells me she does not believe in sweetest day when for the past 5 years she did...she change plans that day 3 more times so I confronted her and thats when she said she needs some time to figure out who she is
two weeks later we broke up and her only excuse was that she was 19 and I was24 when we met and she is changing
its been few months now, but I'm resenting her more and more as time goes by.....if she acted like an adult and was honest with me and told me up front maybe we could have been friends but all she did was lies lies lies and deceiving.....and women wonder why all the guys out there are jerks
as far as I'm concerned she broke up with me on sweetest day after 5 years of loving relationship ( never had a fight)
will I ever stop resenting her for it?

martha! are you slow?
14 where did you get that?
perhaps you need to go back to school or reread
she was 19 when I met her and that was 5 years ago
I was 24 and now I'm pushing 30!
please no high schoolers or teens answering

Answer 1

WHY NOT MARRY YOUR JOB?

Answer 2

You started dating a 14 year old when you were 19 if I have this right. She was too young to be dating anyone especially a 19 year old. She is growing and changing now. Who she was at 14 is not who she is now. Who she is now is not who she'll be when she's 25. If you go out with someone so young to begin with you have to expect change. She's never dated anyone but you. She needs to spread her wings and try new things and meet new people. Whether or not you can accept this is up to you. Try dating someone a little more mature. Of course you can go back to what you did before. Date them young and raise your own girlfriend.

Answer 3

Perhpas she didnt mean to lie. She could have been trying to gove it her best shot. Believe me I was in the same position as you with my ex. But my ex treated me WAY WAY worse than that. After months of teeling me our relationship was perfect, one day my ex just up and asked me to leave out of NOWHERE. We didnt try to talk, there was NO explanations, nothing. I think you should give her credit for not bailing at the first sign of trouble. It sounds like she has tried to make things work, and has been scared of what she is feeling, and also about telling you. Which is understandable. We cant help when other people's feelings change. I know it is the most horrific thing in the world when someone you are madly in love with just falls out of love with you, but accepting it is what i have had to do. Believe me there was a time i was going mad and I HATED my ex for everything I went through. Yes she has lied to you and probably messed you around a bit, but I think the true reason you are upset is the fact she doesnt want to be with you right now, and that is agony... I know.. but (from your description) she doesnt sound evil, she just sounds really messed up in the head. Its true people change, and they should deal with it in a sensitive manner, but that isnt always what happens. You have to be strong, stop blaming her, get rid of these nasty feelings as they will consume yo9u. Give her some space be as nice as possible to her (she wont come back ever if you are nasty) If she doesnt come back (whcih they always do eventually) try to think of it as someone's way opf clearing all the old rubbish out of your life to make room for brilliant New Stuff. I know its tough, but you will come through this with more wisdom and courage than you had before!! I promise x

Answer 4

I'm sorry you are so hurt. But she was obviously immature and not ready to commit to someone long term. It's ok to feel the way you do,but let it go quicker. Negative feelings only make you feel worse. If you get a chance pick up the new book "The Secret", it may help. HUGS!

Answer 5

I hope you do. This resentment can lead to all kinds of problems that will not hurt her but hurt yourself. Physical problems can include heart problems, tension problems, stress problems and it accomplishes nothing. You can resent her or see she is a troubled person with no boundaries. She cant tell you what is going on probably cause she doesnt really know herself. Holding all this in will hurt you in the long run and DOESNT HURT HER A BIT!!!

Answer 6

Don't resent her for it just learn from it. So she was mean... don't become a jerk just because a dumb girl did you wrong. You can do better!! Chin up!!!

Answer 7

Good. Now move on.

Answer 8

that sucks