It is very rare for people to make real changes in their behavior based on previous mistakes. Often people make the same relationship mistakes again and again. It is helpful to look at the reasons why people seem to get stuck in a cycle of repetition compulsion. So, what locks you in and prevents you from learning from your own mistakes?
2007-02-15 00:01:52 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Didnt Dr. Drew already ask this question word for word?
2007-02-17 09:26:58 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can drown your sorrows in alcohol and presecription meds, spend money you don't have and end up with credit card bills you cant afford and have sex with the first available guy/girl who will have you. Or, you can think back to the last time this happened. The self-medication/alcohol binge almost ruined you, the meaningless sex only made you feel cheap and the crap you bought didn't make you happy only made you broke, and make a contientious decision to do it differently. Not just lip services but actually mean it, breath it, LIVE IT. Start going to the gym, regularly. Endorphins are the feel good drugs your body gives you when you exercise, plus you're bound to look good too. Take a class, start a new hobby, volunteer your time to a charitable organization. All these things will help make you feel better about yourself. I have a friend who does this exact same thing. He hollers and moans about how for the past 15 years he has been involved in nothing but drama infested relationships that are far more destructive than anything I've ever known one person to be involved in. 15 years. A learned behavior. Living inside the safety box. And feeling justified each time one of these relationships comes crashing down to a bitter end. And then he places the blame on someone else so he, in turn, can be right. However, this knowledge doesn't make me a rocket scientist. Anyone on the outside usually is in a better position to see the Big Picture. If anything, all this knowledge should tell anyone is that my friend is just an 'old dog' in dire need of some new tricks.
2016-05-24 02:57:57 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I looked for approval from other people, I felt I had no value unless I was validated by having a b/f. I felt that my opinions were worthless and my tastes (such as in music or films) would be mocked as they were not always the most popular of fashionable choices. After my last relationship failed I felt that I needed to be stronger and I have slowly changed my views and I am now proud to voice an opinion if asked, and i am proud to say what I like and don't like. That was a turning point for me, and I no longer attracted men that were insecure bullies.
2007-02-15 00:09:02 · answer #3 · answered by sparkleythings_4you 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to realize that you are in a cycle to begin with, once you've done that - you can get professional help to break the cycle and move on to healthier relationships.
2007-02-15 00:22:44 · answer #4 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wish i knew but somehow i find myself with a guy who doesnt just treat me right ...and now when i get one who treats me like a queen am taking time adjusting. I need advice too
2007-02-15 00:11:13 · answer #5 · answered by sue 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are a dumbass and need to see a shrink.
2007-02-15 00:05:58 · answer #6 · answered by dcam47 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋