my friends boyfriend threatens her in way unimaginable to any one . he says he will kill her ,catch her asleep and slice her throat. he once said he would mess with her breaks so they would go out on her going down the road . every thing you even think of . she even taped his conversation with her. he found it . told her that if she truly wanted him gone that she would sign everything over to her or pay him 20,000 to make him leave. she called a lawyer and he really could not tell her anything.she did manage to make him leave once and he sat across the road and watched her every move.he told her that if he caught her at anything that he would kill her and whom ever . she runs a day care in her home , that puts the children in danger. he makes real good money and so does she . what would you do ?
2007-02-14 23:47:09 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
she did have the restraining order ,thats when he sat across the road and watched her she's in her 50's and she owns everything .truck and home plus several other homes in her erea/.
2007-02-14 23:59:30 · update #1
the last answer , she didn't leave it out . she shot at him once before and she decided to let her son keep the gun at his house well she got it back and he went looking for the gun because he said she wasn't shooting at him again thats when he found the recorder
2007-02-15 00:55:12 · update #2
I agree with you that she is in a very dangerous situation, and needs to take action. She may have been lulled into inaction because he has not yet acted upon his threats. (But even if he never will, who needs to live that way???)
Tell her to consult an organization devoted to victims of domestic violence and threats of violence. You can do some of the legwork for her on the internet. You need to know the local resources, but you should check larger organizations also, you can be sure they have effectively dealt with many similar situtations. I think she needs their KNOWLEDGE, CARING AND CONVICTION behind her, because I wonder about her leaving an incriminating tape where he could find it, and not beefing up the restraining order so it would work.
I am afraid it is still not uncommon to find that the first line of defense, the local police and courts, are vague, unhelpful and neutral. But it seems to me that the restraining order could have been extended as conditions warrant, but maybe I am wrong...Also, stalking is now a federal offense, I don't see why she cannot be protected under that statute. But I don't know the system well enough to say.
The major point, though, is that I think your friend needs not just advice, but active authoritative advocacy.
ADDED: Oh my. A gun going back and forth? And her son is ferrying it? I don't mean this in any disparaging way, but I think your friend is practically "functioning" in this situation, that she has come to view this existence as normal, and is buying into his game of cat and mouse and keeping score. All the more reason for her to have the most professional help available.
2007-02-15 00:44:31 · answer #1 · answered by and_y_knot 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This situation is very serious and there is a real possibility that if things get out of hand, then he will hurt her.
First, every time something comes up, she needs to call the police and file a police report. They may not be able to do anything, but if something ever does happen, then there will be a record of his violence.
Second, she needs to leave immediately. The police may be able to help her find a women's shelter who can provide more advice and assistance.
She immediately needs to go to the courthouse and get a restraining order/order of protection.
Whatever she does she needs to get out of that situation immediately. It does not matter how much money they make- she is putting her life and the well-being of the children she watches in danger. If one of them gets hurt because of this situation, then she could be civilly sued or criminally charged.
2007-02-15 07:58:55 · answer #2 · answered by < Roger That > 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh I would take his threats VERY seriously. He sounds like the majority of domestic abusers I have worked with for years. If she leaves she should check out the local domestic violence center first. Talk to them they can help and provide a safe place for her where he cant get to her. Keep that tape so if she leaves the police have proof he threatened her so she can get a restraining order. Now a restraining order wont stop him much but if he comes up to her she can have him arrested. She is in much danger if she leaves SHE SHOULD BE VERY VERY CAREFUL.
2007-02-15 07:54:29 · answer #3 · answered by elaeblue 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would be very cautious with this man.I would not for minute trust that I was safe.No lawyer needed if she feels threatened.A lawyer cannot help unless he's already hurt her. He is the one that would need a lawyer! She needs to take any proof she has..ANY..even if it's just stuff she writes down on a piece of notebook paper and dates..(documentation)..she takes it's to the police station and files a complaint and requests a restraining order to protect her,her property and her business that consists of minor children.Everytime he stepped inside the footage specified by the restraining order..she calls the law...naughty or nice..she calls them.This is very serious and she has to be prepared to pull no punches with this jerk! If she wants out..she has to get out! I wouldn't want to be a statistic..I would want to live!
2007-02-15 08:02:55 · answer #4 · answered by jen_n_tn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, she should stop bringing in other peoples children into her home. Clearly which is an unsafe environment, with a psycho sitting across the street..just waiting to make his move.
Then she should do more than just have a damn piece of paper to protect herself. What she gonna do when he comes in the house with a knife, beat him with the piece of paper?! So, I think she should do what ever it takes for her to protect herself, even if it involves moving away. Money isn't important if your life and the lives of innocent children are at risk!
She needs to contact the police again if he's harassing her...if they don't listen, then she has to be more persistent with it. If the lawyers aren't doing anything to assist her, then damn I'd go as far as reporting it to the media. I'd do anything to make sure I was heard, protected, and safe. She should do the same.
-.-'
2007-02-15 08:35:12 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would take the threats seriously but I think your friend should still leave.
Many domestic situations like this end up in severe violence and sometimes death.
Your friend may not see all her options and maybe you can help by doing things like supporting her. She may want to move after the breakup also. It's a big step but might be a positive one.
Watch the video clip below.
And read the newspaper article.
2007-02-15 07:58:00 · answer #6 · answered by brown one 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your friends boyfriend seems to have a bad psycholigical problem. He is really capable of killing her. To be on the safe side she would rather leave. She could even start a day care anywhere else for the money.
2007-02-15 08:18:22 · answer #7 · answered by sue 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is she able to move? The most important is to live that town and she'll get the peace she needs. Pray and God will help you!
2007-02-15 08:19:39 · answer #8 · answered by tatal_nostru2006 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no, tell your friend to go to court and get a restraining order and tell your friend to summon the courage to tell him to leave you alone. make it blank. if he calls you, pick up the phone and tell him to **** off----tell him off
2007-02-15 08:00:21 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is a serious situation...go and get professional help..this is domestic violence...maybe police can direct her in the right direction..
2007-02-15 07:55:15 · answer #10 · answered by Tanja S 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋