To Muslims: Under what circumstances can a Muslim man hit his wife?

Question

I don't mean Islamic radical fundamentalist laws, but for peaceful muslims?

King Tut that doesn't answer my question. What constitutes ill conduct or disloyalty?

So, I take it, K.Tut you are saying anything that makes a man angry or sad gives him the right to hit his wife.? I guess the each man decides for himself if he is mad enuf to hit or are there laws concerning how mad he has to be?

Answer 1

None.
One can get a divorce in Iran if one has proof of abuse.

sinnis say:
Women have half the brain that men have.
these are just two videos on wife beating from a suni point of view.
I don't have the time to search for the one that says women have half the brain that men have. you could look for it yourself at www.memritv.com
http://switch5.castup.net/frames/20041020_MemriTV_Popup/video_480x360.asp?ai=214&ar=055wmv&ak=null
http://switch5.castup.net/frames/20041020_MemriTV_Popup/video_480x360.asp?ai=214&ar=287wmv&ak=null

Shiats say:
Men and women are equal in the eyes of God. They just have different responsibilities.
Womem were made from a man's rib close to his heart. This means that the man should take care of her the way he does take care of his heart.

Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) says:
The laws of Islam are bound to change by the passing of time.

IF, and I'll say it again, IF he had in any way said that beating your wife or your daughter is the right thing to do, the law would have changed by now because its a different world.
Again let me say this, the Prophet never never never said that this is a right thing to do. He in fact treasured his only daughter, Hazrat Fatma (salam allah alaiha).

Answer 2

It is acceptable in the Muslim culture. In Islam, a Muslim wife has half the legal rights of her Muslim husband. A Christian woman married to a Muslim man has one quarter the legal rights. Therefore, any legal redress against an errant husband is almost impossible to obtain.

Answer 3

You must realize that if the Companions of the Prophet (Peace be upon him) ever "beat" their wives, it used to be with a miswaak. A miswaak is a tooth-stick (used to "brush" the teeth). It is a very thin, small stick, a twig which can barely cause any injury!

A woman must not be "beaten" - beating is the way the western media portrays Islamic behaviour. In Islam it is more like a light reprimand or warning.

Islam disallowed the ill treatment of females, which was prevalent in Arabia and other parts of the world before the advent of Islam.

Answer 4

I'm a Christian woman, but I gotta tell ya - from what I read here - admonish first, don't share the bed second, and slap her third --

If a woman is running around not doing what she should, acting like a whore - a good slap will probably be exactly what she needs.
Maybe it would knock some damn sense into her -
You have to remember that in many cases there are children involved - if she's not doing what she should - the children are suffering.
If I was a provider of the family - out working to care for them - I would also expect her to be doing her part; when she doesn't, thats pretty serious, because the man married her, trusting that she would - that this woman was safe in that respect to bring up children with.

Woman in the USA who act that way, its too bad they don't get a good smack to wake them the hell up - some of the crap they do is almost unmentionable.

Answer 5

Among the duties of man in islam is to take a good care of her wife financially and emotionally,to protect her and bring joy to her, in return, the women should show respect to her husbands and should be obedient to him as long as this obedience won’t hurt her.
In case, the wife is rebel, doesn’t care about her family, her chastity…the husband is allowed to hit her as a last alternative (after exhausting all the other alternatives : talking, discussing, warning…) but he mustn’t at any case hurt her or exaggerate in hitting otherwise, he's considered as a sinner because he uses his strength to opress his woman and dominate her.

Answer 6

well this is a very good question to ask, unfortunatly most muslims dont understand this issue, as it has to do with the relation between the Quran and sunnah( the acts and sayings of our prophet(pbuh)), in islam the Quran is interpreted by both the acts and sayings of the prophet, for instance in the Quran God orders us to pray, but its not mentioned how, or when, then comes the teachings of the prophet to illustrate.
and as our prophet never hit his wife or any other woman, this verse is constrained by the acts of our prophet.
i only wish that muslims understand this fact!


come on muslims, dont u know the prophet's wife Aisha showed acts of disobedience occasionaly(sometimes out of jealousy), our beloved prophet(pbuh) never hit her, in a certain incident when she was quarrelling with him and her own father Abu Bakr wanted to slap her for yelling at the prophet, the prophet stood in the way to stop her father and even tried to cheer her up!!!

by the way, when God said seperate them in bed, He didnt mean that the husband leaves the bed, but only to sleep in the other far side of the bed, that shows that a good muslim should always show his love and care for his wife!

Answer 7

The notion that after a hard days work a Muslim man likes nothing better to do than to beat is wife is absurd. Since women have the right to divorce men Islam how many marriages do you think would last if this were true?.

If a wife fears cruelty or desertion on her husband's part, there is no blame on them if they arrange an amicable settlement between themselves; and such settlement is best
Quran An Nisa Chapter 4 Verse128

Critics like to quote the following verse to prove that Muslim men are savages and beat their wives on regular occasion.

Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient (to Allah), and guard in the husband’s absence what Allah orders them to guard (e.g. their chastity). Regarding the woman who is guilty of lewd, or indecent behaviour, admonish them (first), (next) refuse to share their beds, (and last) beat them (lightly, if it useful) but if they return to obedience, seek not against them means (of annoyance). Surely, Allah is Ever Most High, Most Great.
Quran An Nisa Chapter 4 Verse 34

As you can see that in Islam a man has the right to use force though it may be limited against his wife. It is the last measure only to be used, after warning them and not sharing the bed with them. It is also only a measure of open lewdness, not a measure for anything else.

Statistics prove that Muslim homes are not havens for domestic violence. Domestic violence is not more prominent in Islam, or any religion or race.

Islam has one of the lowest divorce rates in the world, would it not make sense that if so many women were being mistreated that Muslim marriages would have higher divorce rates?

Some scholars such as Raghib and Zamakhshari suggest that the word used for beat, Daraba, is to set forth, to make a clear a statement or proclamation. So instead of beating (lightly) his wife, a husband is to make it clear to her in no uncertain terms that they are going to be heading for separation or even divorce unless she comes back to proper behaviour.

Whatever the translation of the Daraba, Islam does not approve domestic violence. The Prophet (Peace Be Upon Him) advised one Muslim woman, whose name was Fatimah bint Qais, not to marry a man because the man was known for beating women:
I went to the Prophet and said: Abul Jahm and Mu'awiah have proposed to marry me. The Prophet (by way of advice) said: As to Mu'awiah he is very poor and Abul Jahm is accustomed to beating women
Sahih Muslim Book 9 Number 3526

Live with them (your wives) on a footing of kindness and equity. If you dislike them it may be that you dislike something in which Allah has placed a great deal of good
Quran An Nisa Chapter 4 Verse 19

Answer 8

the Quran mentioned the word "if u fear their neshoz" and neshoz mean something out of the ordinary. such as she was ok since her marriage, and then changed and went against her husband in unusual way. examples such are,
-humilate her husband infront of others,
- look at her husband down,
-yall at her husband with no respect,
- don't care and not listening to her husband,
- you told ur wife to not let a man stranger to enter the house without ur knowledge,
- don't go to a witch or aircraft.

so first advice her, she still stubborn, then don't sleep with her, she still don't care, then beat her as prophet Muhamamd describes the beating using four of his finger and a little spanked on the shoulders. Muhamamd forbid beating women on their face, and he mentioned beating without abues.

these little things can increase the love and respect between couples and save a family from getting destroyed.

Answer 9

"If the husband senses that feelings of disobedience and rebelliousness are rising against him in his wife, he should try his best to rectify her attitude by kind words, gentle persuasion, and reasoning with her. If this is not helpful, he should sleep apart from her, trying to awaken her agreeable feminine nature so that serenity may be restored, and she may respond to him in a harmonious fashion. If this approach fails, it is permissible for him to beat her lightly with his hands, avoiding her face and other sensitive parts. In no case should he resort to using a stick or any other instrument that might cause pain and injury.
"The Prophet (pbuh) admonished men concerning beating their wives, saying 'None of you must beat his wife as a slave is beaten and then have intercourse with her at the end of the day.'

"It was reported to the Prophet (pbuh) that some of his Companions beat their wives, whereupon he said, 'Certainly those are not the best among you [as reported by Ahmad, Abu Daoud, and al-Nisai. Ibn Hibban and Al-Hakim classify it as sound, as narrated by Iyas ibn 'Abdullah ibn Abu Dhiab].'

"Says Imam Al-Hafiz ibn Hajar, 'The saying of the Prophet (pbuh), 'The best among you do not beat,' could imply that beating wives is in general permissible. To be specific, one may beat only to safeguard Islamic behavior and if he (the husband) sees deviation only in what she must do or obey in relation to him. It is preferable to warn (her) or something of the sort, and as long as it is possible to achieve things through warning, any use of force is disallowed because force generates hatred, which is inimical to the harmony expected in marriage. Force is applied only when sin against Allah Ta'alah (masiyah) is feared. Al-Nasai has reported 'Aishah as saying, 'The Prophet (pbuh) never beat any of his wives or servants; in fact, he did not strike anything with his hand except in the cause of Allah or when the prohibitions of Allah were violated, and he retaliated on behalf of Allah.'

"If all these approaches fail, and the rift between the husband and wife deepens, the matter then devolves on the Islamic society for solution. Two individuals of good will and sound judgment, one from the wife's and one from the husband's side, should meet with the couple in order to try to resolve their differences. Perhaps the sincerity of their efforts may bear fruit and Allah may bring about reconciliation between the spouses

Answer 10

Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has given the one more (strength) than the other, and because they support them from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient, and guard in (the husband's) absence what Allah would have them guard. As to those women on whose part ye fear disloyalty and ill-conduct, admonish them (first), (Next), refuse to share their beds, (And last) beat them (lightly); but if they return to obedience, seek not against them Means (of annoyance): For Allah is Most High, great (above you all).

Surah 4: 34.

Well you get the picture up there.

Anyways, beat doesn't mean the brutal violence againts women, it's just something like... a slap. When your gf cheat on you, if you slap her would that be wrong?

Well no one said it was wrong for my ex to slap me ._.

Many times ._.


Edit: Ill conduct and disloyalty like she flirts with other men or stuff like that, anything that makes the husband angry/sad.