My Mom lives alone and can barely walk I have suggested a?

Question

scooter for her for around the house. She doesn't want to spend the money. She can barely walk an says I will just sit around all day. I mentioned the scooter will help her be more mobile around the house. She refuses to spend money and I cannot afford it my husband just got downsized in his job. My mom really needs outside help. She refuses it she says they will steal from her. I live 30 miles away and worry about her. My husbands job is here near where we live and my husband says he needs my help financially. She is very stubborn. When I suggest something she says she's old enough to take care of herself she is 83. I have noticed things aren't getting done around the house any suggestions. She refuses any help..

Answer 1

~I know how you feel. My mother has been an alcoholic her whole life. She is only 65. She lived alone, kept falling down, would black out, never showered, lost 50 pounds and was skin and bone.
She called in a panic, I took her to the hospital and she was anemic, her liver is enlarged and her blood is like syrup. I finally talked her into treatment, I didn't have the heart to force her. She wasn't getting anywhere, even with my help. I also live in a different town. I finally had it, went and got her and her cat and brought her to stay with us.
Whenever the doctor or counselor called and said you need to do this, I dropped everything and took her to get it done. She could see that I was making progress and she would be in Detox soon and became very difficult with me and my daughter. At one point I told her maybe she should go home, but didn't mean it.
She later said she wanted to go home and I said "NO! I'm not taking you home to die!" At that point she realized she had no choice anymore. I didn't plan it that way, the doctors expected her to react that way, but you have to do what is best for them.
I explained to my mother that I loved her and she knew she had to go, when the time came, she went and now is in treatment and doing very well.
I think you should be there when the salespeople come to talk about the scooter. That way she won't feel like she's being pushed into something or feeling like they're stealing her money. She can't afford NOT to buy one. A wheelchair would be less expensive, but it's harder to get around that way. She would probably need you to push her. Maybe you can approach her with that? If she has no money, Medicare should cover most of the cost, shouldn't they?
Maybe she can get in an assisted living complex? Maybe you should take her home with you, RENT a wheelchair and see if she likes that? I think Nursing Homes are where you take your parents to die.
Either she gets help for herself or you take over and get the help YOU think is best for her. She is too old to take care of herself. The average life span is 72. Of course she wants to stay home, but if she can't get around to take care of her house and herself, it's time to step in. It's hard, but you have to do what you think is best for her.
Good luck & God Bless~

Answer 2

You should get her Life Alert--"Help! I've fallen and I can't get up!" It's a watch she wears around her wrist and it doesn't come off ever. She wears it in the shower and everything. And with the push of a button, she is talking to someone from her watch. It's very inexpensive for the peace of mind it gives. It'll make her feel like there's someone with her all the time. Less than $600 per year if I remember correctly.

She probably only refuses help because she doesn't want to put a strain on you financially. It's time to help your mom with things around the house, regardless of her trying to refuse. Tell her, "This is what kids do for their parents, so please don't refuse my help! I want to help you like I hope my kids will want to help me someday. You raised me, now it's my turn to give back and help you." A couple of hours a week would be very helpful and ensure you see her regularly. She might even secretly be hoping you'll insist on helping.

I think you should find a used scooter before she falls and breaks a hip. Keep checking ebay and your local newspaper. Here are a couple of links.
Good luck!

Answer 3

I'm dealing with similar issues with my grandmother. But honestly, your problems may be bigger than just the scooter. I would suggest taking her in to her regular doctor for a normal check-up, but speak with the doc before you go. Let him/her know your concerns and discuss possible options. If your mother seems to really like or respect her doctor, she may take advice from him better than she will from you. Also, check with Medicare and any other insurance your mother has (AARP, etc) concerning the scooter. They'll usually take care of a portion of the cost, which may ease her mind concerning the finances. Whatever you do, don't let her become sedentary any more than you can help. If she wants to be independent, she's got to be willing to do her part.

Answer 4

Sounds like she may have a touch of Alzheimer's with the whole "they will steal from me thing".Call her insurance company see what type of help they can provide.Some Seniors can be stubborn.My grandmother can barely walk and she doesn't want a scooter either .But when we take her shopping she has an electronic wheel chair. I don't know about your moms insurance but they might cover it 100 percent. Good luck and big hugs to you.

Answer 5

for an 83 yrs old mom scooter may be danger for her..grandkids i´s the best way to give her to take care so that she move and walk or try to give her small dog where she can walk around everymorning and afternoon.and pass always by and ask her to walk around with her.give her some works that she have to really move.like u can call ur mom and say mom come over here we invite u for a lunch and keep it like that once in a while u can go also to her and says ur going to eat dinner to her..so that way she will get busy with her self

Answer 6

Your mother is very wise and she has enough experience of life. Do not try to make her more happy forcefully because may be she knows better what is more comfortable at the age of 83. I suggest to keep an eye and always ask what is she needed from you. Do the needful and be happy yourself too. Bless you.

'Prafull' Paramaatmaa Das,
"Vishw Paramaatmaa Parivaar"

Answer 7

Try a senior day care center in your mother's area, they can help you with resources for home bound seniors as well as for stubborn mothers.

My mother is the same way she is 86 years old and I didn't think anyone else could be as stubborn as she is.