i have been with my boyf for a few years and i just dont feel a spark anymore.I feel like our sex life is pretty lame, i am just not into it. but he is sweet, funny, we get along great, share common interests... i am scared to leave because we get along great outside of the bedroom...and with a long relationship, does the spark die out no matter what anyway? i am not sure what to do.
2007-02-14 20:12:02 · 11 answers · asked by gigi 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Temporary separation (for few months) will help.
(The spark doesn't die in a healthy relationship and only gets stronger with years.)
2007-02-14 20:20:18 · answer #1 · answered by OC 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The spark dies if you let it die. My husband and I are best friends. We have never had a fight in our relationship and are very happy together. But if we don't make an effort into the other aspects of our lives then yes, sex gets lame, life is the same and it's a great relationship but nothing exciting. Friendships are easy but relationships need effort. When was the last time you did something spontanous or exciting for the relationship? Tried having sex else where other then the bedroom, did something exciting. If you want your sex life and spark to come back into the picture both of you will have to start doing different things. You might not be into it, but the next time he walks by grab him, shove your tounge down his throat and grab his butt. It should wake him up really quickly and be agressive. Role playing works as well, it's something new and fun you two can do together.
2007-02-14 20:22:35 · answer #2 · answered by breannejk 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to be the spark. Mix it up. Try new things. Look up ways to spice up your sex life. My guy and I have been together for seven years. There are times we don't have sex for months. But when we do, it is so good. After a while, it just doens't seem as important as having the little things. We have just started to rekindle again. There are always dry spells, you just have to get through them and find out why you are in the relationship and if you still want to be. Sex is a pretty poor reason to stay in a relationship, though, no matter how good it is.
COMMUNICATE!
2007-02-14 20:18:45 · answer #3 · answered by buebla 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that just may come with the territory... I don't think it's a bad situation to be in, either. The bedroom problems are things that can be remedied; having a great relationship outside of the relationship that lets you be yourself and be comfortable is what counts.
It's the opposite kind of relationship - where the couple behaves like oil and water, but only stays together because of the sex, perpetuating a bad situation indefinitely.
2007-02-14 20:17:56 · answer #4 · answered by Sean 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well a coples have been together for a few years, they will slowly lost the spark of love unlike when they just start a relation. It is up to both of you to determine what sort of love life you are looking for. This sort of sparks is very hard to get back once it have die off.
2007-02-14 22:28:59 · answer #5 · answered by Clown & Joker 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sex doesn't have to die out---but it does--for millions of people. fact is, you are learning that there is more to a relationship than sex----he sounds nice but probably stressed--wait and see if relaxing your drive and demands will help. If not, you are free to go---maybe your new guy will be more physical--or the same---it is natural. Sex is important, but not everything. Good luck to you---but wait till you get older and married, with kids and maybe a job---you won't feel like sex either.
2007-02-14 20:19:39 · answer #6 · answered by fire_inur_eyes 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try out some adventures in the bedromm. You have definately fallen into a routine and that gets to someone. So start being sponatneous. Try reading sex books.you'll be surprised at the wierd things peope do out here. when this fails, am sorry to say you need to show him the left
2007-02-14 20:20:08 · answer #7 · answered by cynnie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just try to spice up your sex life!
Buy some porn and say things like, we should try that position that's hott hunny.
Go to Lovers Lane and pick up some fun romantic stuff!!
Get him to come out of his shell a little, it's okay to take control and make things better just make sure you don't hurt his feeling in the process!
2007-02-14 20:16:47 · answer #8 · answered by Megz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
only tell him the actuality, yet no longer the entire actuality. Be as variety as accessible and enable him down gently. Make a level of putting forward that's no longer something he's performed and that he's an excellent guy.
2016-11-03 12:20:43 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you've fallen into a rut... sex is not everything... why not be EXTRA romantic/considerate/caring/thoughtful? reminisce with him about the early days--that should help... relationships aren't easy to maintain because it requires daily effort...
2007-02-14 20:23:02 · answer #10 · answered by wat_more_can_i_say? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋