He put up another personal ad! Is this cheating?

Question

I met this guy through a personal ad awhile ago. We have been having a good time together talking, and we have shown a lot of interest in eachother. We even have a weekend trip planned soon! So how come he put up another personal ad? Is he lying to me about his intentions of wanting a relationship with me? Is this even really cheating since we are merely dating? Help - I need to know what to do here!!! Thanks so much!

I am not making a relationship out of thin air - he has mentioned the word "love". He has been making future plans with me.

Answer 1

You better change your attitude and stop being so possessive of him. If you have not had the conversation of, "Well, we're constantly having sex and constantly seeing each other. Do you want to be in a committed relationship?"

He is not cheating. He is trying to find the right woman for him. If you are the right one, he will spend more time with you and eventually marry you. If you are not the right one, he will spend more time with other women and he will eventually marry one of them.

It's dating. It's not marriage. Get over yourself. You're not that important to him.

Answer 2

No, it's not cheating. He is still looking and wanting to meet and date other women. Why don't you place a personals ad as well, since you know this now? You two would have something to talk about. A guy I met through an ad constantly mentioned his dates with other girls, how cute they sounded in their messages, etc. I said "If you're having such good luck, I think I'll try it too." So, I did. I met some great guys and had a lot of fun. And the guy I was dating "with no strings" -- well, it made him very attentive towards me! And he and I are still friends after 10 years, although we only "dated" for that first year.

Answer 3

He should have been open with you from the start and told you that his intention was to date lots and lots of girls, that way you would have had the choice to persue it or find somebody that wanted to be with you and only you.

I also think the fact that you ahve a full weekend away together does sound like it is a bit more than dating and he shouldnt have asked you to do something like that if he was then going to put up another advert. He has raised your expectations and made you think that he wants to be exclusive with you.

I would talk to him and say that you are not happy about it. That you thought that your realtionship had gone past casual dating and that if he had been more open with you then maybe you would also have dated a wider range of guys (see how he reacts to you doing the same, it always feels different when the shoe is on the other foot)

Then you decide if you are happy to step back and be his casual date while he makes his mind up or not, and unless he decides that he wants to be exclusive I would tell him to reconsider the weekend away, your into enjoying time with him, not getting hurt.

Answer 4

He may not be cheating, but it sounds like he is out looking and if the right situation came along then he would likely go for it. It is possible that someone else could have done it but I would not go for that story. You did not mention his age but maybe he is trying to test his own ego, making sure he still has it and is still attractive to other women. You did not mention how long you have been married but he may be feeling the need to just try something different with a no-strings situation just to boost himself because he is bored with you, wants to spice things up a little. Unless you can get another woman to write him and see if he will respond there is not much way I know of to catch him at it, unless you get a computer person to go back and show all the cookies, history, etc, I am not that good on computers. That does not prove he is cheating, but if the right woman offered it, he would likely jump on it.

Answer 5

Dude, This DB Is Totally Setting You Up For A Major Letdown. He's Keeping All His Doors Open So Just In Case You Start Threatening To Use The M Word, He Beats A Tasty Retreat In The Form Of A Minor (Gender Fender Bender). Stop Living With Him At His Parents House And Get Your Own Place To Crash! Be Strong! You're A Survivor! Use Your NESS!!

Answer 6

He more than likely isn't taking what the two of you have seriously, or he doesn't want to be in a relationship. If he is still going on the dating site then he is still looking and he may just be dragging you along for the ride cause he doesn't want to be alone. I would try talking to him about it see what he says, it can't hurt any! I would tell him you are looking for something more serious and that if he isn't then maybe the two of you should go your separate ways. No matter what you do make sure he isn't dragging you along that can be a really horrible thing to go through believe me I've been there one too many times.

Answer 7

intent to cheat, it's unclear how far your relationship has moved along. My relationships move pretty fast and it's clear in the begining what the situation is. If it's a casual i'll see you here and there maybe, that doesn't last, your obviously not committed, i don;t know you or what you do. I immediatly see the person daily for weeks with like non stop puppy love and you know where the relationship stands, although admittedly that hasn't lasted either but it lasts longer. casual stuff with busy people who aren't passionatly in love, that is just an awkward arrangment. i feel zen like in my singledom now.

Answer 8

Probably he's not satisfied with you and he's looking for something else. He is not cheating at the moment and he might not cheat in the future if what he meets is not what he expects.
But putting another ad is not a good omen because he's apparently looking for sex.
If you are not after the same pursuit, stop it!
Or, wait until the week-end trip and then, decide.
.

Answer 9

You need to clarify just exactly what "dating" and "having a relationship" means to this guy. Two people can be dating, but have an agreement to date others as well. Unless you specify that "dating" means "dating exclusively", he may think that putting up another personal ad is perfectly acceptable.

Answer 10

Perhaps he wants insurance in case you don't put out on the weekend trip. It's not cheating. It is unkind. Tell him that if the shoe were on the other foot he'd not be happy and cancel the weekend, He's playing you and lying through his teeth.