2007-02-14 19:39:21 · 25 answers · asked by baby n 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
If commitment is important to you, then tell him so. Maybe he's worried about committing, as it is a huge step in any relationship. Sit down sometime with him and discuss it. Why is it important to you? Why hasn't he shown any signs of commitment? If it's fear, then discuss his hesitation. Maybe he'll change his mind. However, if after the discussion, there is no progress and no signs of him committing, then give him the ultimatum, "commit or I'm leaving." IF there is still nothing, then yes, definitely move on, especially if commitment is what you're seeking. If he agrees with committing, but is standoffish, or says something like, "Yeah, sure" and then blows it off, then he's just talking the talk and you need to move on. And hey, maybe he wants to commit, but feels the same way you do about him and his lack of commitment.
2007-02-14 19:50:07 · answer #1 · answered by livingtowrite 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I know what you're going through. It's a tough situation when you've been with someone for that long. You've almost become used to them more than anything else.
Look at it this way, you've been there for him for 8 years and haven't gone anywhere, if he really wanted to take the next step he should have done so by now. You should really think with your head and not with your heart at this point. As sad as this sound, the reality is that as us women get older our chances of finding the right guy becomes lower, at a certain age all the good guys are taken or the ones that are left go after the girls in their early twenties... so it's you who have to watch your own back and make the right dicisions for you if he's not considering your best interest...
Don't forget, this is the time to think with your head and not heart. Be strong and move on and I really wish all the best in finding someone that values your presence and relationship.
2007-02-14 19:50:21 · answer #2 · answered by Shelley S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was in the same situation last year. After 6 years of dating (and living together for the last year) we broke up. He proposed twice. After the first time, he immediately took it back the next day. We had a short break and I decided to give it more time. He proposed again a while later and we were "engaged" but we never spoke about the details of a wedding. I think it's because I felt he didn't want to talk about it and I guess I never pushed it. We talked about how scarey marriage is etc.
Finally, he said that he still is not ready and he does not want to take up anymore of my time because he knows how much I want to have a family and kids and I am 35 years old so maybe it is already a bit too late.
To make a long story short. I am now engaged to another man (an ex from a long time ago) and he is really great. He's very kind and he treats me really really well. He wants to have kids ASAP and now the situation is kind of reversed, I keep dragging out the wedding date. I think deep in my heart I am still waiting for my other ex and I feel terrible about it. It's been over a year with the 6 yr ex and I'm still not over it. I think about him all the time. It's sad actually. Sometimes I regret not sticking it out with him. I mean I know plenty of people who got married after 10 years or so of dating. So I don't think there are any cut and dry answers. It's easy to say "give him an ultimatum, then move on" it's not always so easy to move on.
It's a sad sad situation. I feel incredibly guilty especially toward my new fiance, I'm doing to him what my ex did to me. It really sucks!
So my advice is to really think about it. Moving on is not so easy and sometimes even if you do you'll continue to think about your ex, for me it's a sweet sadness in my heart.
2007-02-14 21:18:24 · answer #3 · answered by UM360 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You sound like you are tired of waiting for a commitment and have realised that your boyfriend isn't going to give you what you want and need in a relationship.
Should you move on? To stay and continue to hope he'll change is kind of like hoping you'll find bread in the hardware store. Chances are you aren't going to get what you want no matter how hard you try because your looking for it where it hasn't been and most likely isn't going to show up.
Be kind to yourself, move on when (and if) you're ready and don't regret the time you spent waiting. Regrets keep you in the past and cause you unnecessary pain. Look to your glorious future. You get to choose what you want and pass on the ones that can't give you what you need.
Kind regards.
2007-02-14 19:57:31 · answer #4 · answered by teach_empathy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yessss,Georgie!! We got a stud to add to Magglio,Carlos,Pudge,Placido,Sheff,Renty and Grandy! Alot of people will think this a bargain(compared to A-Rod),when Cabrera starts joltin' the fences at the CoPa! 2008 will bring our Tigers some interesting games for our fans(alotta sell-out crowds at Comerica!) Dombrowski is a genius!-Hope our bullpen can do better-maybe a trade is in the works.Dombrowski might have one cooking now.I can't wait for opening day!
2016-03-29 07:10:39 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know your ages but after 8 years???? And you're "asking" if you should move on???? Pack now sweetie!!! You don't want someone afraid of commitment!!! TAKE MY WORD 4 it, even though you don't know me. And I don't agree with tony, I think that was his name; DO NOT propose to him. It is MORE THAN CLEAR, he "want's the milk but doesn't plan on buying the cow"!!! Get out there you could be missing soul mate!!
The best of luck to you!!
2007-02-15 23:02:36 · answer #6 · answered by liza_shelton 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you really love him than you need to talk to him about what is going to happen in your future. Ask him if he has any plans to get married. If your still young such as under 25 years old than perhaps hes just waiting till things are coming together such as you both have a steady income, and will have the money to get married and not be in debt. You need to be upfront with him and tell him that you want to get married and you want to know if hes willing to commit to you sometime soon. If he says that hes just not ready, than you need to tell him that you love him very much but you cant be with someone who doesnt know if he wants to be with you forever. Once he sees that hes going to have to make the choice perhaps it will wake him up and ask you.
2007-02-15 09:37:46 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh yes! My sister in law was engaged for 7 years, after dating the guy for 7 years...after a whooping total of 14 years, she finally realized he wasn't going to marry her. Think of all the people you could have met!
2007-02-15 04:38:39 · answer #8 · answered by Pink Denial 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
give him an ultimatum.. if hes not ready to commit still (unless he has a pretty good reason) you should move on.. since u've been in a relatinoship with this guy for 8; yrs.. there must be sumting thats been keeping u two together... so be careful about ur decision.
2007-02-14 19:43:57 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should have moved on about five years ago. Yes, stop wasting your time already. If it's commitment you want, you're looking in the wrong place.
2007-02-14 19:42:57 · answer #10 · answered by Liz 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋