BF wants to join the Air Force! Help!?

Question

My boyfriend's dad was in the army, and my guy commented recently on how he may join the Air Force when he gets out of college. He has all these dreams of being in the military even though he's asthmatic and blind in one eye. Although I've heard that Airmen have a less dangerous life than guys in the army, I still don't want to be with a military guy, especially if we have to move all the time or he gets sent overseas. At the time, I wanted to say, "You can do it without me." But I didn't because I didn't know if it would be wise to issue an ultimatum if he didn't even know he wanted to do it. Should I say anything about it the next time he brings it up, or broach the subject myself? I don't want to wait for him to graduate and be with me, only to have him decide he's going to join the Air Force and go God knows where. Am I wrong to feel this way? Should I worry at all? How do I deal with this?

Answer 1

Trust me, I know how you feel.

My brother graduated from the Air Force about 3 weeks ago.
Now, he's in Witchita Falls, Texas and in four weeks he comes home for 20 days, then leaves to go to Germany and won't be back anywhere from six weeks to two years.


The way I look at it you have two options:

You can tell your boyfriend how you feel. That you don't want to trace your life around him, and follow him everywhere he goes. That you love him, but you're not interested in following him around the world. You can tell him that "If it's really what you want go ahead cause i'm not gonna try to change your mind, but just remember that i'm still here and i honestly don't know if ill be waiting for you when you get back"

Now, the second option.
If you really love him and feel like you can't go or do without him, then keep in it. Don't ever give up. If this is something he really wants to do, let him do it. Don't make him feel sufficated and that you're not allowing him to do the things he really wants to do in his life. He may end up feeling like he's not ready to commit to you if you do.


I hope my advice helped somewhat! Good luck girl!

Answer 2

Joining The Indian Air Force Is Not So Easy But Still Not A Very Difficult Task.....Well, First You Have To Clear A NDA Exam. Its Not To Tough. But Next Phase Is The Interview And Physical Test Nd Not Everybody Is Able TO Clear That. Welll That Interview Is Taken To Check The Presence Of Mind And Double Mindedness Of People. The Form For This Exam Can Be Taken From UPSC Office Nd The Exam Is Held Twice A Year.

Nother Way Of Joining Is Through Pilot Courses. You Can Join Any Flying Club And Gain Experiences And Then Apply FOr The Job Of Pilot Same Here.. You Will Have TO Clear A Small Test Nd Interview...

another Way Is To Graduate As An Engineer And Join The Air force As An Engineer. Still A Test Nd Interview Have To Be Cleared. But In The Last Two Cases Its Easier Than Before.

There R Age Limits To Every Test. nd every case.

See The Air FOece WEbsite For The REst...

http://careerairforce.nic.in/

Sincerely
Diptesh

Answer 3

He is considered a single parent as you are not married so therefore he will have to sign over full custody of the child during training. You will not be able to live together if you are not married. You will not be covered by any benefits if you are not married. The child will be covered under medical and dental, base priveledges, etc.... He has to make sure he meets the other requirements such as age. If he passes that then he will have to take the ASVAB, how well he scores on that determines what jobs will be open to him. Depending on what he chooses to do can therefore determine when he leaves. Sometimes it can be months before he does. When he goes it will take up to 8 weeks to be paid. He will not receive BAH (housing allowance) after he has completed BCT. He can be stationed anywhere in the world. The Air Force to be honest is more family friendly than the other branches.

Answer 4

how about stop being so selfish and stand by ur man....if u cant deal with the fact that he may join the military 2 serve his country, then leave him - he'll be better of without u. trust me, he will surely meet girls where ever he goes.

another thing, i dont think he will be able 2 join the military if he is asthmatic or blind in one eye - so u may be worrying over nothing. if there is a chance he would be a liability 2 the air force then theres no way they will let him in.

Answer 5

It sounds like your biggest fear is more leaving home than anything else. Granted the military is not for everyone, regardless of if they are the service member or the spouse, but don't issue an ultimatum. If you do, then you may not like the consequences, because he may just leave. I spent 3 years recruiting and I've seen people who got out of the military because their spouse issued the "get out or I leave" ultimatum and within a couple of years they were divorced and the ex-service member was trying to get back in.

If your boyfriend is asthmatic and blind in one eye, he is disqualified from enlisting. The next time he brings it up, load him in the car and drive him to the recruiting office. The recruiter will tell him what the disqualifiers are, and then YOU aren't the bad guy.

I would say that love will carry you thru, but it won't. If your bf is qualified, and still insists on joining, you will have a choice to make. Be with him, or not. The USAF does have it a bit easier with their deployments, but they still roll out and have to leave for months at a time.

Good luck

Answer 6

No, you're not wrong for feeling this way, you're human. You're a girlfriend who hates the thought of her boyfriend possibly leaving. It's difficult.

I've known asthmatics in the military (supply) but never heard of anyone being blind in one eye. I doubt he will qualify but if he does, he does. If this is what he wants to do, you need to support him.... just as he needs to support you in what you want to do.

I completely understand your side- I'm the wife of a former infantry soldier. But being a soldier is in my husband's blood... it's his passion. It was hard to be without him. But that's who he is.
Turn the table: Say this is your passion. Would you want him to crush your passion? He_l no! In fact, I'm sure you'd get indignent and tell him that you'll do whatever it is that you want.
Our partners shouldn't hold us down. They should be there to catch us when we fall, to root us on, to hold our hand and be that shoulder to lean on.

Living a military life can be fun and exciting. At the same time, scary and fear of the unknown. Most of the wives I've talked to have enjoyed seeing the world... but most of all, they've supported their husbands and have a strong marriage because of their support. We should support our husbands whatever the profession not just military.... just as our husbands should support us.

Nicole

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Answer 7

Things happen for a reason and nothing is set in stone enjoy life w/ him while u can. If u truly love each other every thing will work out. Like u said he has a lot of dreams just see what way he goes and cross that bridge when it comes.... Good luck

Answer 8

I am an Air Force recruiter and I assure you he cannot join the AF being asthmatic and blind in one eye. 100% certain

Answer 9

you are youre own women right? so why question your feelings? hey I think its GREAT that you want to stick by your man-but why do something you don't want to? ya know i believe the stat it something like 70% of military marriages fail for the very reasons you just mentioned. women get tired of moving and being alone. he's going all out for HIS OWN DREAMS..but a relationship is COMBINED EFFORT...so if he doesn't- see your point of view.

ya know what ya gotta do...

but what i would do..but i'm not girl...is i would simply tell him youre gonna have to do it without me. i'll tell you this..IF HE HASN'T GONE INTO THE MILITARY NOW..THEN WHAT MAKES YOU THINK HE'S MAN ENOUGH TO DO IT NOW?

fact is he isn't. so i bet anything that he tells you ...okay honey i won't go..it was just a thought.

Answer 10

That is his own decision, not your decision. If you really loved him, you would honor his decision and go where he goes. I think the guy is focused very well, and if you can not wait for him to graduate to be with you, then you are the one with the problem. Love is patience, and understanding, not trying to control the other. You deal with it by being supportive of all his decisions regarding what he wants to do, if you can not do that, then find some one that will take orders from you only.