i am 34, only child, and daddy's lil girl...atleast i thought til 11pm tonite.i was talkin to my dad and just casually mentioned that he got married to the woman he is been dating for 15 yrs. Now mind u nobody knew..or so i didnt know. Plus, he just told me he had prostate Cancer on Jan. 1st 2007. plus he goes to surgery on friday...so i asked why the marriage now ..my first thought was that he is farther gone with the Cancer then he is letting on..to be 52 damn near 53 yrs old and going out to get married without anybody knowing..he said they had been planning it...what the h---!!! and u didnt tell your only babygurl? even though i am not real fond of the mate now wife. but even so, to say lookahear im getting marrried and thats final..would have been better than =basiclally "we eloped"...i am hurt..do u think i should be and how would u handle it? i am scared that he is sicker than letting on. what should i do? .i know i am spoiled so that's not the answer or suggestion.
2007-02-14 18:14:31 · 12 answers · asked by BOOBALICIOUS 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Hold up before it goes too far...i want my dad happy..but obviously our bond is not real close if he thought he needed to hide a wedding...come on now be real...you know that u would want ur only daughter to be a part of the very first marriage instead of makin me think im not worth tellin about the biggest day of ur life...We only live 45 minutes away..these are the men's opinion of course...its not about letting him live his life but if he had said im gettn married to her ..i may not have like it...but i would have said do what ur heart tells you and be happy...but i think it was very sneaky and decietful...bottom line...who hides there first wedding but teenagers...come on now...
2007-02-14 18:39:32 · update #1
UPDATE: Well, when I wrote this thing It was my immediate reaction and feelings of betrayal and sneakiness...but now we have had face to face talk and i am letting that go for now and just focus on the most important...but i still think he done this out of mental anguish from worrying bout this Cancer thing. i have given my blessing for them over 4 years ago but he wasnt ready to get married. i can be very happy 4 him -when after this Cancer thing has resolved and he comes to me and say "I made the rite decission about marrying her" i just didnt want him to get hurt and regret doing something so final under diress... but i thank all of you for ur comments and took it in consideration...But I will always be a Daddy's Lil Gurl....SORRY. Thanks
2007-02-15 16:02:59 · update #2
i know just how you feel, my dad got married in 2000, and didn't tell me until after, and even then it was by way of text message whilst he was on honeymoon.
apparently his new wife was afraid that we'd object to the wedding, so neither my sister or i were invited. her son however was. i am still really pissed about this but at the end of the day as long as he is happy that is all that really matters. i get along okayish with the woman, but that is it. oh he was about 47 or 48 when he did this.
to be honest having spent time with them both i think that they are more life long companions than a married couple.
i think you should concentrate more on being there for your dad right now. he may feel that because of his illness a 'quite wedding' was a more appropriate option. when he is better - and he will get better, maybe he and his new wife might like to re - do their wedding vow's in front of family and friends, and have a real party.
everthing will work out for the best. i'm sure. all the best maria X
2007-02-14 19:35:21 · answer #1 · answered by frost7216 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sure he knew you wouldn't approve, and just didn't want the headache or the hassle of dealing with any drama beforehand. Also, a wedding isn't that big of a deal to lots of men (and some women) It's not like he threw an extravaganza and you weren't invited! It may have even been a spur of the moment decision, seeing as how they've been together quite a while. So get over being hurt and deal with it like a mature woman instead of a little girl.
As for the cancer, hopefully that will be fine. Many men get a complete cure from prostrate cancer, and there's no reason to think your father won't be just as fortunate. Good luck to him and his new wife, and to you as well!
2007-02-15 02:27:03 · answer #2 · answered by Ara57 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry, there are girls your age nowadays who have a marriage, a car payment, 2 kids and a mortgage to worry about. Daddy will be fine. He'd probably be more mad you're on the internet at 1:30am.
2016-05-24 01:52:40 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would be hurt too! I don't understand why people go out and get married without even telling their kids about it. It's selfish and hurtful and causes way too much confusion. Shame on your father and his new wife for not telling you about this. Especially when I'm sure you're already going through a lot of emotions with him having cancer and everything! He should have respected you and your feelings and told you about his marriage. I know some people will say "it's his life" but you are a very big part of it being Daddy's Little Girl.
2007-02-15 01:32:04 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems to me that it was his decision to make, and he obviously assumed that you wouldn't approve, which is why he did it behind your back.
This doesn't necessarily have anything to do with how sick he is (which is, by the way, by FAR the more important issue here). Be there for him, no matter what. Put aside your feelings, and try to empathize with his feelings.
He obviously wants to be as happy as he can, given his circumstances. Stop worrying about your own hurt, and be with him to help him through his pain.
Yes, springing a sudden marriage on you was wrong, but should that matter in the face of a life-threatening disease? Now is the time to grow out of your "spoiled" phase into a more nurturing role for him.
2007-02-14 18:33:52 · answer #5 · answered by Bael 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him a break. He obviously married this woman out of love. He seems to have a few things on his mind right now. Might be he realizes you aren't really crazy about his new wife.
2007-02-15 08:57:42 · answer #6 · answered by mimegamy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him love his Life. You have yours! You have his Love? You have your happiness. My Little Girl, turns 30, this Year. She's not wanting me to hold off on happiness. Neither should you. Shout out to Father, on the Cancer. I wish him the Best!
2007-02-14 18:20:24 · answer #7 · answered by Goggles 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A similar thing happened to me, and I was very shocked, as you are, at first. But as you weren't there, you don't know the details of why they chose to get married in private. It's his life and you must respect that. Wish him well and do your best to get along with his new wife.
2007-02-14 19:06:05 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its ok to be hurt because someone has come between you and your dad. If he is loosing his life he is merely reaching out and trying to relate as man to woman. There are things you cannot give him that she may. Yes, it would have been nice for him to let you know, but actually he doesn't need your permission.
2007-02-14 18:27:22 · answer #9 · answered by friday 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're spoiled, and you're a crappy person. Let your father have his happiness. Why would you mar that? Why would you be a crappy person to the person who probably loves you the most on Earth? Jesus, but things in perspective. Take a deep breath and look around you.
2007-02-14 18:23:57 · answer #10 · answered by Faint 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋