How do I change this? I'm so sad.?

Question

I'm 21 years old. I've never been on a date before, I don't have any female friends. Every time I see a cople together or a beautiful girl I get more and more depressed. I'm terrified of even approaching girls. I'm scared that I'll be alone the rest of my life. I don't want that to happen. Please help.

I have a hard enough time making guy friends let alone female friends.

Thanks Brunette Poet. Too bad you're not 4-6 years older, Damn!

Answer 1

You sound like the sweetest man I know! I'm so sorry about that. The right girl will come sooner that you think. Sadly, I am no help as I am 14. Sorry.

I wish you the very best of luck in your life!
Brunette Poet~

Answer 2

I feel the same way, dude, I am a 35 yr old woman, long blonde hair, blue eyes, DD breasts, but I've heard that guys are intimidated by me, and maybe that's why they don't approach. Don't be afraid. Know there will be acceptances and rejections. You are at an advantage, in a way. No matter what they say, guys tend to not like when women take the initiative, so we gals have to hold back and wait. GO FOR IT. Gotta be in it to win it, so if you never step up and make a move you'll never get anywhere. Try joining an organization for something you are interested in. It is always easier to develop a friendship with someone when you have a mutual interest. They'll be something you can both talk about, and you take it from there. Focus first on making more female friends and see what happens. Lots of girls want to know the guy a little before they go out on a date, so that might help.

Answer 3

Daniel,

You are faced with a situation where many guys have been. Fortunately for you, you can get out of this runt. You can do it!

however, you have to follow a few ground rules to better social proof.

Perseverance. Without it, you won't go far.

Confidence. It helps you build friendships and make you more fun to be with. Teasing and being playful are traits of confident people.

Ambition. Having goals in your life is extremely appealing. Not only to women but to your friends. By having a dream which you follow will make you more of a prized gem in a social circle.

Consistency. By staying consistent with what you have planned, you get results.

Now you ask "How"

Its like playing the lottery "you play the game"
Ever heard of someone who doesn't play the lottery winning it?

Same concept. By stepping out of your comfort zone and making the initial contact and taking risk, you increase the chances of rewards. Keep this in mind thought. You will be shot down. You will be rejected, you will feel ackward. Expect it, however, learn from it. With each lesson you learn, you learn how not to make friends.

As you build on this, you will start to make acquaintances. Soon will follow friendships and lastly, a closer intimate relationship.

If you lack friends, get off the computer and go join a club. Either a swim club or a yoga club. Someplace where you can immerse yourself with new people. Going to the gym will boost your self esteem. Plus, you get to loose that gut of yours too. An added health benefit.

So go out there bud. The only thing stopping you is yourself and once you are resolved on doing this for yourself, YOU will reap the benefits.


Goodluck bud and have fun

cheers

Answer 4

If you've never been on a date, it's your own fault...but of course you know that. :)

At this point, you might want to work up to asking somebody out by getting someone else to do some of the work for you first. So....

Get someone you know to start fixing you up with a date, repeatedly (friends would be best, otherwise, perhaps relatives). Eventually you'll have enough experience "being" on dates, that you can brave the hazards of asking for them.

Also, make your first forays, into this new world, in the form of "group date"s whenever possible, so that it'll be easier on you. It'll help you ease into this new way of life...You and your friend(s) and her and her friend(s) going out to do something specific and sociable, like bowling or dancing. If its an arcade or a movie, you're not going to be talking, which means that you're not going to be getting to know each other, which means greatly diminished chances at making a connection. OTOH, if its an activity where you guys are doing something, then you have an excuse not to be talking ALL the time....

Quit being so self-conscious. For pete's sake, you're human, right? Being self-conscious makes others self-conscious, too. Everybody is all wrapped up in themselves, so they're not going to notice whatever it is that's making YOU self-conscious, unless you make it impact them, too.

Prepare some topics of conversation you can talk about and put together a list of questions that you can CASUALLY ask your date, to show her that you're interested in her and get to know her better. People LOVE to talk about themselves, and they do know quite a bit about themselves....use your conversation skills as a means to learn more about her.

Whenever you think of it, smile. Hey, you're on a date!

Remember the adage: "Smile and the world smiles with you. Cry and you cry alone." People like to feel good. Seeing others smile tends to make them feel like smiling, too. You're bringing pleasure to others. Ergo, you're a likable guy. When you have nothing to say, smiling makes a pretty good substitute for talking, too. :)

Ding! Ding! Ding! We have a winner here.

Go Get 'Em, Tiger!

Answer 5

get involved more, in your community, church, etc... you'll eventually meet more people, including girls. just make sure that you change your mind-set that you need to meet girls to form a relationship with them. girls appreciate it better that you become their friend first, before deciding to court them. good luck to you! cheer up! it's not too late?!..

Answer 6

You need to join a club or someting. Somewhere you can meet new people. Go to church thats where I found mine!

Answer 7

I feel the same way and I am 29. Maybe we should hook up.