How do you just accept yourself?

Question

I have a hard time doing that. I feel this is why I'm so awkward and people pick up on that. People won't like me for who I am. I'm boring and have no life. I try, but I'm still a loner.

Answer 1

Self-esteem and self-respect seems to be your problem. In the animal world, animals pickup very quickly on other animals by using their senses. They smell fear, and read body language very well. Humans have those same senses but are not aware of them and just follow their instincts. So lets look at your self-esteem. You probably carry yourself in a mannor that shows your awakward and afraid to make the right moves when people are around because you don't want to look like a looser. Body language is 75% of what you say to others. Your fear of saying the wrong things that will make people laugh at you. You don't know what people are thinking so don't try to be a mind reader. They may be tinking your a great person but your body language tells them to back off. You have no life because you choose not to have one. You keep people at a distance. Your boring because you also choose to be boring. Let's look at self-respect. In order to accept yourself, you have to respect your self first. I find it hard to respect someone who does not respect themself. To respect yourself, look at all the positive things about yourself and accept them. Treat your self the sameway you would treat a special friend. Make yourself your best friend. Let the world know you love yourself, not in words but in actions such as treating yourself special with nice things. Always have a compliment for someone you meet. Doesn't have to be a hugh compliment but something like " you look great today ". People may look at you in a funny way at first but will learn to accept you and like you. People always like compliments, especially girls and even more if the compliment is coming from another girl. If you're a guy you would compliment another guy by talking about how cool he is and some of the cool things he has done. Don't be someone your not, be yourself. People can see right through the phonies in this world. Above all, you must be able to LOVE your-self first before you can go out and love someone else. You must also be able to repect and accept yourself before you can accept and respect others. You come accross as a nice person who doesn't seem to recognise that wonderfull little person inside yourself. Get to know that little person inside yourself who is crying out for love and attention, and nourish it with love and the rest will fall into place. I believe you will make someone a great friend.

Answer 2

Being a loner doesn't make someone boring,it's what the person does during their alone time that makes or causes boredom. Some people are very comfortable being by themselves,sitting on the sidelines and observing others. Some need to be in the middle of the action,or have all the attention on them. Any of these people can be boring,but it will be mainly by choice. If one makes an effort to keep up on current affairs,the music industry,or other day to day trivia,one can and will make conversation with others and not be boring. To have no life is a choice made only by yourself,nobody is stopping you from enjoying this world of ours,it's you who is stopping yourself from being a part of the play. If you want a role in the play, you have to let the other actors know you are auditioning,otherwise,you will be viewed as someone who wants to be left alone,so then no one will bother because they think you are choosing to be on the stage crew, and not in a speaking role. Gain confidence and take that audition. Good luck.

Answer 3

As a Senior Citizen I Should Be Like The Wise Old Owl--I Should have an easy answer for you, Experience is supposed to teach us plenty---the best approach I Have Found when I "Don't like Myself" is--I sit myself down, Relax, Get out of myself and look back at me!!! I start writing a list of the good things about myself on one side of the page, across from that I list the Things I don't like about myself, A third Column is what I Want to Be and Do, all the While being Very Honest in my assesments!!! When I Have Finished I Review It Seriously!!! I Put it away until I Have the oppertunity to Review it with a parent or Loved one. I Make myself Understand that I Can not Solve it overnight, Faith, Love, Respect, Friendliness, Compassion--all help--"Looking at the Brighter Side" is Better, Get Involved !!!---Signed---JEM

Answer 4

It's a hard thing to do, I myself, do not accept or love myself. I have so much self hatred, and it's not easy to let down. Now I'm being a hypocrite, but oh well. Every morning, look yourself in the mirror, and say with emotion "I LOVE myself" over and over again. When you're feeling down, maybe you failed a test, or something of the sort, and you start beating yourself up, stop and tell yourself that it's okay, it was just one test, I'll do better next time. You just have to try, and be willing to really put effort into it. Without wanting to, you'll never achieve it. I know this, and know that until I really want to, and am willing to put effort into it, I'll never be able to achieve self love, and accept myself and who I am.

Answer 5

you use that to your advantage. "you can try to rewind time, you will search but you will never find another you"-one day at a time by eminem and tupac (song). just be who you are. if people dont like you for who you are, thats just plain disrespect. dont bother with them. accept who you are. if youre a loner, then youre a loner. if you dont want to be a loner, be a little more friendly and a little polite and have the courage to start talking to people. ask about anything. if you have no life and youre boring, let them answer some questions. start listening to what they say. man you have a lot of negative comments about yourself, whats one positive thing?

Answer 6

Been there, done that, went through depression because of it. Want to use my experience to overcome it or are you just going to waste it by using advice from someone who doesn't have a clue what the hell you're talking about or what you're going through emotionally? Accept your faults and weaknesses, as well as others'. Once you start to do that automatically, you won't feel so awkward around people. Again, take it or leave it.

Oh, and if "god" loves you so much, why did he give you a loner lifestyle? Think about it...

Answer 7

You do not have any room in your life for other people if you still can not handle the relationship inside of yourself. Interacting with other people is the easy part, just smile and pick up on the little body signals we all give off to one other to lead you into conversations or to lead you into diversion. You seem to be intelligent and have a genuine concern for your own well being- so, just get out there and find out who you really are thru the people that you meet. You will always feel as if all eyes are on you, and then feel alienated by this- which is ironically what most of us feel. But, believe me, if you are intelligent and have a deeper sense of this world and of others; and, YOU are too busy thinking about what other people feel about you, then, YOU know that all these other "simpletons" out there are way too busy with their own validation queries to be watching or judging you. Ya know, I think that you are judging me right now...so, I guess I helped in the fact that I took your mind off of your own critique for a moment-uh,uh...damn, You are thinking about you again...dude, you were doing so good there for a moment, just believe that it is this insanity that contains others - crazy, redundant, unneccessary...etc...etc... you are VALID by me, brother!!!

Answer 8

Possibly the best way to accept yourself is by recognizing the beauty in your imperfections. The Japanese call this 'Wabi-Sabi'. Everything in life serves a purpose. Your weaknesses are just as important as your strengths. Often, your weaknesses are the greatest 'keys' to who you really are and why you are here.

Best wishes and good luck.

P.S. You may find value in a fun little book by Taro Gold. The title is 'Living Wabi-Sabi: The True Beauty of Your Life". About $9 on Amazon.com. Another excellent book is called "Count Your Blessings" by Dr. John Demartini. Also available at Amazon.

Answer 9

Personally, I love me but that may have something to do with the fact that I am a Christian and believe that if the Creator of the world tells me that I am beautiful and "fearfully and wonderfully made" then what else can anyone say about me. If you are a Christian then you should not worry about accepting yourself, if God can accept you, and He freakin made you!, then what is it that you can't accept, you are only the masterpiece He wants you to be. If you are not in a personal relationship with Christ, well I still think that you should appreciate the person you are. If there are things you really don't like, work on them, but don't obssess over it. You are who you are for a purpose. I hope this helps, toodleloo!

Answer 10

By looking in a mirror and telling yourself that you love YOU and that no matter what you love you unconditionally. I was about 45 years old before I learned that trick. By doing so, you are telling your subconscious and the subconscious mind will take care of the rest. Also, tell yourself you love you in a letter or before going to sleep at least 25 times. Worked for me,.