im 14 my mom is driving me crazy and i feel alone in the world what can i do and who can i talk to?

Question

every year my mom gets worse because of my step dad, anyways today/valentines day i didnt get anything from her or my family and last week was my bday, i turrned 14 and no one got me anything only a card from my aunt my 2 gmas and my step sister well my mom told me happy birthday once and that was in the middle of the night she said o devin i almost forgot happy bday, my dad called me and said happy bday but i havent been up there for awhile anyway my mom didnt even get me a card yet when my 2 step sisters bdays and my lil half sisters bday somes around shes all about buying them gifts, and im the one that goes to work with her when i dont have school and i work just as hard as her and IM her kid she treats me with disrespect like one time i was asleep and my baby sister found a sippy cup with water from a day ago in it i had no idea because i was asleep and she was sitting right next to the kid and pays no attention then starts screaming at my and threw the cup at the wall behind me saying get the f*** up u lazy fat a** b**** and ripped the cover off of me...THIS WAS 6 A.M. ON A WEEKEND well I got up and got my sister a new cup with milk while she sat there then I came back and went to lay down (I was in the livingroom) and I got the blanket and she said, don’t even think about going to sleep u lazy b**** I mean come on thats no way to treat me is it? I do everything for her I stay home and babysit my sister so she can go out and party and shell go shopping and buy a bunch of junk food well shell eat all of it and not realize it then blame it on me when I didnt even touch it...what can I do about her?

Additional Details

11 minutes ago
my dad and i get along when i get to see him he is an alcholic and smokes heavily and we think hes starting to come down with cancer i love him and if anything happended to him i dont know what i would do he works all the time and is very protective of me but im not as close to him as i should be im not close to either of my parents actually im not close to anyone except my best friend of 6 years CJ but right now he has problems of his own and cant really help me only support what i do hes older then me by 2 years when im 17 im moving out of my house and in with him

CJ isnt my boyfriend hes like a bro to me he has a gf that he loves hes very protective of me and were not planning on dating i want to move in with him because i know he can support me and i can support him in other words were there for each other no matter what

Answer 1

First, Happy Birthday. I hope you and your friend CJ are able to do something nice to celebrate your birthday. I'm sorry to read that you are having such a tough time at home with your mom. From what you have described it doesn't sound like you and your mom are really enjoying your time together and getting the most out of the relationship.

I think that if you want to change the relationship that the two of you have then you have to address the issues you are having with your mom. It sounds like you two are really lacking in direct communication skills. For instance, when your mom neglected to mention your birthday, by either card, gift or word, you should have addressed it with her so the hurt and anger didn't build up inside you. In fact, why not talk to your mother tomorrow at some point when you have had time to cool down. It can be as easy as saying, "Mom, I'm really hurt by you ignoring my birthday the other day. Why is it that with my siblings you make more of a celebration out of the birthdays but for me you just wished me a happy birthday?" If you don't feel that you can say this to her then why not try writing her a note about it? Sometimes it's easier to say things in a letter than to face the person directly. Either way it's important to let her know that you want a better relationship with her. It may also be prudent for you to talk about some of your issues that you know you could work on for her. Whatever those issues are you would know them and it may make the letter go over easier with your mom if you acknowledge that you too make mistakes and need to work on things too. You need to decide what kind of relationship you are going to have with you mom and then do your best to have that relationship.

As for the situation with the sippy cup and waking you up it just sounds like a very unpleasant, unfortunate and unnecessary handling of the situation. It's something that you should talk to your mom about.

If you can't go to your mom or talk to your friend CJ about it then why not go to a school counselor and talk to them. It maybe a great way for you to get a lot of these things off your chest. And, you could check within your community and see what resources they offer for teens. I'm not sure where you are located but I'm sure if you check online you can find some resources that can help you. Another thing is for you to branch out and make some additional friends. Your friend of six years is probably a great friend but if you had more then you wouldn't feel so lonely. Have you considered joining any clubs at school to get involved or volunteering in your community? Volunteering is a great way to help others and you feel great about it while you're doing it.

Bottom line is to have some open communication with your mom and try and expose yourself to new experiences and people so you don't feel so alone. How about attempting to see more of your father? I see that you said when you get to see him you get along very well. I realize the drinking and the smoking are a serious issue but how about doing things that get him out of the home so he can't drink when you see him. A movie, a hike, a bike ride, a walk or anything else that you think he would be up for.

You can change your life you just have to be willing to take steps to do so.

Answer 2

No, Devin, that's not a way to speak to any child, especially your own, I do feel for you, but I also commend you for baby sitting and etc. Your mom may not notice what she is doing, and yes, you are the oldest of all, so when it comes to bdays and other holidays you should understand that they are going to get the gifts where you probably will not, your mother will change once you move out, but you don't want to jump out with both feet to soon either, it's very hard out there! You have a long ways before you can move out maybe you can have a serious talk with your mom and talk about how you feel and whats going on, maybe things will change then, I wish you all the best!!!!

Answer 3

First of all, Happy Valentine's Day! And I hope you had a great Birthday last week. I'm proud of you for all you do respondibly for the rest of your family. It takes a courageous young girl to do what you've described in your question.

I'm so sorry your Mom speaks to you this way. You deserve much better because you're special. Please know that some of us DO care. You need to look for either a school counselor or a trustworthy teacher right now.

As for leaving when you're 17, I understand your pain and feelings of needing to be away from that whole situation. I'm going to ask that you NOT move in with your boyfriend. Moves should be made TO something, and not AWAY from somebody. In other words, don't feel you have to move in with this guy in order to be gone from your family. There are sometimes a third option....at least think about it.

Answer 4

The home situation does not sound very good, but lots of kids have it worse. If your mom starts physically abusing you, you can opt out by telling a school counselor. You would get moved to a relative's house, a group home, or a foster home for the next few years.

If I were you, I would just try to stick it out. Go to a friend's house, the library, after school activities, etc. to avoid being home. It's only four more years and then you are out of there.

Whatever you do, don't run away: 14 year olds are easy targets on the street for pimps and perverts.

Answer 5

wow that alot of info I didnt read all but, Happy V day girl!! Smile take a deep breath. You first need to know you ARE LOVED!! Our enviorment around us needs to be at peace so..Sit quietly and radiate from the inside out Not outside in.you need to be calm and not judge your surrounding just think of a safe and happy place Not from the past but in your future. Day dream and make it happen you have your whole life to find it thats the best part. Pray and be with peolple you can trust. @nd hand smoke isnt safe. Tell you mom and ask 4 help from trusted adult. you will always have a safe place in you dreams and through meditation and yoga and breath. Love you!!

Answer 6

Sound's like your mom has a problem. She's not acting like a mom and needs to step up and play her part. No child should be talked to the way she talked to you in your sample above. I want to tell you to try to sit down with her and talk but she's the adult here, not you. What about an adult outside the household? What about your stepfather? Can you talk to him? Sometime's parents that get remarried unfortunately, get caught up trying to be a "good" step parent and they don't realize that they are destroying a god given relationship in the process. I don't know what it will take to turn this around, I wish I did. I do know that you can try as hard as you can to be strong. Pray. Pray alot. Find your inner strength to keep yourself on the "good" side of being a teenager. Rebelling can be so easy but turn out so wrong. If you do get the opportunity to sit down and talk to your mother tell her how you feel and keep on track with the problem at hand. I know it's so hard when you are only 14 but it sounds like you need to be the mature one here.
Keep your chin up. It's not easy but you can find the strength in prayer and within yourself.
Keep on truckin.

Answer 7

Mom is turning to religious addiction to numb the pain of divorce. Happens all the time. What can you do? Just learn to speak in tongues on cue and when you're 18 take a HOLY GHOST HIKE.

Answer 8

Talk to your granmas tell them everything you said here and see if you can get them to ask your mom to let you stay with 1 of them for awhile.
Get your education adn build yourself a life.
I know you love your siblings but they need help too.
This is in no way healthy enviorment for any of you.
If necessary(no other choice) there is child protective services.
You are supposed to be getting an education, not helping to support your family with a mom and stepdad.
They need to get thier act together and do thier jobs.
Good luck honey.

Answer 9

wow.... how sad.... the worst thing my mom has said to me was that "i'm very disapointed at you", and i deservered it.... umm... i guess you just have to live with it.... we get the parents we need... even though they may not be the best parent in the whole world, they are yours.... I think you should talk to your school consilar.... but yeah...... hey if you need to talk to like me.... just tell me and i'll give you my e-mail address... but ya... by the way i'm very sorry about your dad... i'm sure he'll be fine, but i noe how hard it could be. Even though my dad never had cancer, he has had a heart attack, and i took that really hear, cause now i noe he isn't going to live very long.... and that life is really sort

Answer 10

I'm sorry to hear that hun, i was in the same boat as you were. I'd go talk 2 a councelor abt it and get some help, i mean S***, ur own mother shouldnt be treating you like that, your her flesh and blood. I would talk 2 a counslor abt it tho and get some help. Good Luck!