I'm bored... Bet you can't entertain me... I am sooo bored up to the point that I am willing to spend five...

Question

...points asking this pretty pointless question: GOT ANY RIDDLES OR FUNNY JOKES???

Best one gets 10 points, but seriously, I bet you can't entertain me... All the jokes and riddles everyone tells are old n boring... Don't mean to be negative... but... XP

BTW, anyone want to answer MY riddle...?

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20070212211013AAHwNR5

Just so you wanna know, it's not one of those riddles that are "sooo easy"...

Thanks pink, but maybe for other people: Please don't include the answers...

Don't worry I read all of it but I'm still a bit bored... Thanks, but...




*Yawns*

Sairav and Babodite... Already heard those sorry... *Sighs* I guess I'll just put this question up in voting...

Answer 1

this is a funny one you're going to like it...

Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way they pass a drugstore. Jacob suggests they go in. Jacob addresses the man behind the counter:

'Are you the owner?' The pharmacist answers yes.

Says Jacob: 'We're about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?'

Pharmacist: 'Of course we do.'

Jacob: 'How about medicine for circulation?' Pharmacist: 'All kinds.'

Jacob: 'Medicine for rheumatism, scoliosis? '

Pharmacist: 'Definitely.'

Jacob: 'How about Viagra?'

Pharmacist: 'Of course.'

Jacob: 'Medicine for memory problems, arthritis, jaundice?'

Pharmacist: 'Yes, a large variety. The works.'

Jacob: 'What about vitamins, sleeping pills, Geritol, antidotes for Parkinson's disease?'

Pharmacist: 'Absolutely.'

Jacob: 'You sell wheelchairs and walkers?'

Pharmacist: 'All speeds and sizes.'

Jacob says to the pharmacist: 'We'd like to register here for our wedding gifts, please.'

Answer 2

ok i will try my very best........

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services.

He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"

So if you didnt like taht how bout this......

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!” The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you.”

and heres another one......

A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.” The man then replies: “Yeah, well we were married 35 years.”

and.....

Why do ducks have webbed feet?
To stamp out fires.
Why do elephants have flat feet?
To stamp out burning ducks.

Answer 3

did you hear about the Eskimo girl who went and pulled a bloke and then woke up the next morning to find herself 6 months pregnant?

Answer 4

Why not entertain yourself
might be more fun.
Buy a vibrator,mine never bores me.


hehe

Answer 5

The Wide Mouth Frog >:)

A wide mouth frog was hopping through the forest.
He met a squirrel.

(Put your index fingers in the corners of your mouth, to make a really wide mouth (frog effect )as you talk - only for the frogs speech.)

"Hello, what are you?" said the wide mouthed frog.

"I'm a squirrel and I eat nuts." said the squirrel

"I'm a wide mouth frog & I eat flies." The wide mouth frog replies as he went on his way.

He met a pig.

"Hello, what are you?" said the wide mouthed frog.

"I'm a pig & I eat nuts." said the pig.

"I'm a wide mouth frog & I eat flies." The wide mouthed frog replies as he went on his way.

He met a goat.

"Hello, what are you?" said the wide mouthed frog.

"I'm a goat & I eat grass." said the goat.

"I'm a wide mouth frog & I eat flies." The wide mouthed frog replies as he went on his way.

He met a badger.

"Hello, what are you?" said the wide mouthed frog.

"I'm a badger & I eat wide mouthed frogs." said the badger

(Take your fingers out of your mouth for this bit of the wide mouthed frogs speech, and make your lips as small as possible!)

The wide mouthed frog replied, "OooO, you don't see many of those around, do you!!!!", as he hopped away

Answer 6

One time at school... i accidently called the teacher mom... :D you want me to call the school saying theres a bomb there... so you can leave early?

Answer 7

A kid asked his mom what race god was: black or white
His mom answered: both
He asked his mom what sex god was: male or female
His mom answered: both
The boy said to his mom: Ok, so god is Mishael Jackson, right?

Answer 8

i will be writing few words n u r gonna laugh
here r some

" an old woman died in her childhood"



riddle-
imagine u r a pilot & he 2k 125 passengers from america to australia,195 pass...... from australia to india , 525 pass....
from inddia to south africa .........
what will be the age of the pilot??????????????????????????????????????????????????????







here's d ans ------------
thats ur age as u were d pilot.

Answer 9

ok heres some!!!!

Yo mamas so fat when she walks her butt looks like 2 pigs fighting over a milkdud!

Yo mamas so ugly she makes the blind children cry!!



here's a riddle;

Why did the cookie go to the doctor?

Anser:Because it was feeling kina crummy!!

Here's another:
Q:what do you call a pig who does karatee?

A:porkchop!

Answer 10

Britney is bald.