Here is the story. My brother is getting married this year, he has asked our three brothers to be in the wedding. I have not been asked to be in the bridal party by the bride to be. I say this is a breach of etiqutte that it is customary for the bride to do so. It is something I often have seen. my Dad says this must be a new "hip hop" tradition lol. Can you believe this guy?? So we are spilt me and my mom and then my dad. P.s I have decided just to discuss my feelings with my brother I no longer think I should participate in the wedding site either.
2007-02-14 15:14:13 · 10 answers · asked by NuMi 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Hey Im happy for my brother and Im still going to participate in any capacity that I can. Dont be mislead I love my brother deeply and support him no matter what.
2007-02-14 15:35:34 · update #1
It just a little spat between my dad and I truth be told Im going to wedding looking good and dancing, Im going to take pics and all of the those things I haven't lost sight of the big picture. Actually my next question will be for a good gift idea. Thanks for those of you who understood my point of view.
2007-02-14 15:41:22 · update #2
While it is traditional for groom to ask brothers to be groomsmen or at least ushers and traditional for the bride to ask sisters to be bridesmaids, there is no rule of etiquette I know of that demands that the bride ask the sister of groom to be in the wedding party. It might have been better manners to do so, but, perhaps, the bride already had sisters or other relatives or even close friends she felt obligated to ask? Unfortunately, there aren't as many places for the female relatives to take as the male,...unless your brother wants to be completely nontraditional, and ask you to be an usher??
2007-02-14 15:21:34 · answer #1 · answered by harpertara 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
The bridal party is usually made up of the bride's family and friends, not the groom's sister. I'm sorry your feelings were hurt, but I wouldn't have expected her to ask you. I recommend that you just enjoy yourself and make sure that the focus stays appropriately on the bride and groom. I'm not sure what participating at the "wedding site" means, but I think it's a good idea for you to participate. After all, you have a long future relationship with them ahead!
2007-02-14 23:59:30 · answer #2 · answered by drshorty 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is NOT customary for the bride to ask the groom's sister. It does happen though. Have you thought about the fact the bride may have had family and girl friends she's wanted to be in this wedding for a long time. This wedding is about HER and your brother - not you. You should be happy for him. How about offering to help out - they might make you a reader or something.
It is very hard to include everyone in a wedding and sometimes you can't get everyone. Try to be a little understanding. Sorry to get on you but these kinds of things tick me off. People forget who the weddings are for and try to make BIG issues out of small ones. Be there for your brother. Don't make a mistake you'll regret for the rest of your life.
2007-02-14 23:24:56 · answer #3 · answered by Bill S 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It is up to the bride who are bridesmaids What is your relationship? Are you friends do you get along? It is not a hard fast rule for all members of the family to be in the bridal party. Does she have brothers, if so are they groomsman? I would let your brother know you want to be in the wedding party. But not going to the wedding would be a mistake. Don't make this about you, it is their wedding and she may have told other people that they would be a bridesmaid, and without knowing, you do not know what her reasons are so do not make assumptions you are being slighted..
2007-02-14 23:31:23 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, are any of the bride's brothers going to be in the wedding? Who the bride gets is the bride's decision.
Be the bigger person and be a part of the wedding regardless of your part. Be a positive person and be happy for your brother.
How you react is your decision. No one can make you angry or jealous. Frankly, acting that way only makes you childish, will give the bride reason not to invite you, and will create problems for the couple. Also, the last thing you want to do is give them reason to write you off when they have children.
Remember the golden rule: How would you want your siblings and the siblings of your husband to behave in your wedding?
Best of luck, and congrats to your brother and your future sister-in-law.
2007-02-14 23:30:03 · answer #5 · answered by scavenger_meat 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As far as I know, the bride has full choice to ask whomever she wants to be her bridesmaids. She does not have to pick family. Usually, her best friends will be first choices, but it depends on how close the two families have become. Do you get along well with her? If so, I would wonder too, why she wouldn't have asked you. I'd ask your brother for some feedback on why she chose who she did. But I'm sure she's not breaching any wedding etiquette.
2007-02-14 23:22:02 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is traditional for a groom to ask brothers and a bride to ask sisters, At my wedding, my brother was part of my husbands party just because it worked out that way, i did not have a female of his family on my side. If she has the room then maybe sure be part of it, but if she has closer friends, or maybe you to aren't best buddies then don't feel hurt about it. She is the bride and it is her along with your brothers' wedding and I personally would not talk to him about it, you have already decided that you want to "go looking good" it is your brothers wedding, don't try to upstage them just because you are hurt that you aren't part of the party. Your brother has enough on his plate, and maybe you could mention how you would love to help out at the wedding. That shows that you want to be part of it, but if not then that is all good.
2007-02-15 01:22:28 · answer #7 · answered by Hawaiisweetie 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
no you don't have to be in the wedding it is the choice of the bride and groom. She has sisters, friends and family that will be more insulted than you. Just because he is getting married does not mean you need to be in it. My brother was not in our wedding. I love him but we had just a few grooms men and my brother is much younger than i am so we were never close like friends. I got people who are more important in my life. I love him but he was not someone i wanted there for the big day
2007-02-15 00:09:00 · answer #8 · answered by Big Daddy R 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No its not a breach of etiquette, the Groom picks his side & the Bride picks her side of the party
2007-02-15 00:26:56 · answer #9 · answered by Mike J 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You sound like your nose is out of joint....you have to understand however, that it is not your big day but that of your brother and his wife-to-be and it is entirely up to her who she chooses to be her bridesmaids.....
I can understand why she hasn't picked you if you are as difficult as you come across as.
2007-02-15 04:36:50 · answer #10 · answered by stepfordswiss 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋