Okay... so I love this kid. He's 20, I'm 20, and we have been dating for a year and three months. He seems to really, really love me, and I love him in return... but here's a little problem.
He gets me nothing for my birthday. I bought him clothes. He gets me SOCKS for Christmas... not even wrapped, still in their plastic bag. I spent over 70 dollars on him. Last Valentines Day I had to hide all the things I bought from him because he only bought me a cheap flower and didn't do anything the rest of the day. He apologized and said he'd make up for it next year... this year, he wrote me a note. I went all out... again. What an idiot.
What am I supposed to think of this? I mean, I know money is NO object, and I know we're both college students, but shouldn't he care more? Other than this, our relationship is amazing... I know he cares about me. It's just he seems to think he doesn't have to do anything "special" for me. It bothers me... Help? And yes, I did talk to him about it...
2007-02-14 15:03:39 · 37 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
First when you are studying money is always object. He SHOULD care more about you though. My advice is stop buying him things. Take him off the pedestal. Don't be at his beck and call, don't do every little thing he asks...
My point is don't be a ***** but don't let him walk all over you. You deserve the same respect and appreciation you give him, so try treating him the way he treats you for awhile.
2007-02-14 15:10:44 · answer #1 · answered by Sonja J 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You just have to decide how much this bothers you. I know you are not materialistic. Its not WHAT he gets you that bothers you. Its that he doesnt seem to put any effort into it. Which you translate as not caring.
Some guys just arent good at the romance thing. Every year I have to poke and prod to get my husband to do something for V-Day. This is the first year (of 8) that he has done anything worth while. And thats only bc I finally gave him a list of ideas he could pick from (cuz he cant ever think of anything on his own).
It is an irrtating quality, but it doesnt mean he doesnt care. Is he affectionate? Is he there for you when you need him? Then let him show you his feelings in his own way.
In the meantime, try a list. It worked for me this year.
2007-02-14 15:22:10 · answer #2 · answered by Rissipop 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How sad! Are you serious? He doesn't even get you anything on your birthday? What the hell? I'd be pissed. A guy who doesn't take any time to even think about you on your special day? Should you even be with him? I'd say no....he shows that he could care less about you. Yeah. I'm not materialistic, but at least he could of taken you out for a walk on the beach or cooked you dinner on your birthday. That does not cost any money at all. It seems that you are not satisfied with his weak eXcuses for a gift. If he really loved and cared for you then he would show it by taking the time to put some effort into getting you a gift from the heart. You are doing that for him and he should be doing that for you. My advice is to find someone who is going to treat you like you should be treated on your b-day and on Valentines Day. You will be so much happier. All girls deserve to be shown love on their birthdays and V-day. If he hasn't shown that....either deal with it (meaning sucky gifts for the rest of your life) or move on to someone who is more romantic! I do not think that he is in love with you if he doesn't show it to you in some sort of way. A love poem, a song, or flowers. When a guy is in love he will do almost anything to show you that! Trust me...I've been through this before.
2007-02-14 15:15:07 · answer #3 · answered by asiansmile 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your looking for material things then you will never
find happiness with him, since you both are 20, this is
still a very young age for emotional relationships,
perhaps your guy doesn't have the necessary skills
to buy for you, perhaps he is cheap, and then again
when you say, he really loves you, do you mean he
really loves you, or he really enjoys having all the benefits
which accompany the relationship..... Your both in collage,
so then you would be wise to know that saying SHOULD
means nothing in nature, should means you expect a
certain behavior pattern when in our nature what we
expect comes from learned behavior or habit.......
What you might do is when there is an event coming up
in reference to gifts, make a day and go together and see
if this will challenge his wits in pleasing you........
gOOd luck
2007-02-14 15:17:40 · answer #4 · answered by ♪σρսϟ яэχ♪ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats a little weird cuz even if a guy doesnt want to give a present usually he would feel bad if he didnt. But at the same time at least he's good to you throughout the year that maybe he doesnt feel like a present would show anything. a lot of people are against valentines day because they think it forces ppl to give something when they should be giving every day (not material wise)...i would maybe ask him why he doesnt but dont sound like you are mad or blaming but he probably thinks that he is good to you enough that there isnt a need to show you he loves you with a present
2007-02-14 15:07:44 · answer #5 · answered by Sarah 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
lol...Men are funny to the point that when we are young its not "cool" sometimes to shower the woman with gifts. This young man seems not to understand the need for giving to show affection for someone special. Tell him to step it up or he can step on out. That might sound harsh but if it keeps happening his defense will always be strong because you always let it happen. And to talk about love, I would suggest that you "can" the use of the word love. I am SURE that you have no idea what it truly means at this stage of life
2007-02-14 15:08:21 · answer #6 · answered by EyeKneadPoints 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He probably just doesn't have any gifting skills. If your relationship is amazing other than his gifting, accept that he just is not a gift giver. And hopefully he will learn some day.....but if not, love him for all the other reasons that you love him. I know it's hard because gifts mean so much to us women. But there really are more important things in a relationship. I don't get gifts from my husband very often............and we've been married for 33 years. Would I like to get gifts from him? Absolutely! But I wouldn't trade him for all the gifts in the world either.
2007-02-14 15:19:20 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I live with my b/f and we are both in college. I am in the exact same situation you are in. But recently I have realize something. He just isn't into gift giving!!!! And one day when he graduates from pharmacy school and starts to make a lot of money he WILL be into gift giving and they will be really good gifts. Just remember some people grew up in not so materialistic families and that may be why he isn't into that type of stuff. And notes are nice 'cause they are from the heart!!!!!
2007-02-14 15:17:34 · answer #8 · answered by ximxca 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is it with chicks and v-day? You all expect a gift because merchants/retailers tell you that he should get you one - you don't even know the history of v-day. All you care about is getting presents. Wasn't Christmas just 7 weeks ago? YOu could love him, he could love you, he treats you good, but now that he doesn't go out and "buy" you something he is suddenly in the dog house? I hope he dumps you, you don't deserve him and your priorities are all screwed up. Women think all they have to do is wear red underwear and lay on their backs and that is their "gift" to their dude - yawn.
2007-02-14 15:18:23 · answer #9 · answered by commonsense 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, I find a note more romantic than any money can buy gift. My hubby and I exchange our do-it-ourselves gifts all the time. It's so much more cuter and it comes from the heart. Although, the sock present? Yeah that's very weird. Maybe he doesn't know what to buy you. I've met guys like that before, who are just simply clueless!
2007-02-14 15:08:01 · answer #10 · answered by Soldier'sWife 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋