I've been with her son for almost nine years and this is our third child. She is really mean to me and my two kids. She won't even call them on their birthdays. My oldest son won't call her grandma because he said grandmas are supposed to be nice to him and she is not. She is always trying to say bad things about me and my husband never seems to stick up for me. I had a ruff labor with my other two and feel if she is there it will add more stress on me. Is that selfish...I am a horrible person for wanting some space?
2007-02-14 14:50:11 · 12 answers · asked by latina_23 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Only people who care about you and are there to support you should be there. She can sit in the waiting room if she's gotta be there at all.
2007-02-14 14:59:41 · answer #1 · answered by Rissipop 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she dislikes you and your children so much, I don't think she would want to be there in the first place. From what you say, she sounds awful, but the fact that she wants to be there for the birth of this new child may mean that there is some love deep down. As for her being present at the birth, that is an extremely personal and private matter. If you do not wish for her to be in the room with you, she can wait in the visitor's area. Just remember that while this is your child, it is her grandchild too. Perhaps she is the type that just doesn't know how to show affection for people. Her own parents or in laws may have been the same with her, thus influencing her to treat you the same. She can't help how she may have been raised. If you choose not to let her be present for the birth, perhaps a nice thought would be to allow her to be the first family member to see or hold the baby. Good luck dear!
2007-02-14 23:25:06 · answer #2 · answered by osbdevil 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ah yes, the monster in law. Honestly, it sounds like she's a complete b****. I will say this though, she is the grandmother of your kids. I know how bad grandmothers are but look at this way: she obviously WANTS to be there when the child is born or her presence wouldn't be an issue. So she does want to be a part of the kids lives even though it appears that she doesn't. However, if her being there is going to cause YOU issues, kick her out girl. It all comes down to your comfort with her. If you do want her to be there, tell her how it is. "I need you to be positive and helpful or else you can't be there for my safety and your future grandchild's" will do perfectly. It really all comes down to you, and no, you're not a horrible person.
Good Luck!
2007-02-14 23:04:41 · answer #3 · answered by Jenny 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My daughter had a similar problem but she didn't have any other children but she just didn't like or I should say trust her mother in law. It concerned my daughter that her mother in law was going to be at the birth and to her she just didn't want to deal with it. She didn't want to share that with her husband because it was his mom so she came to me and asked what to do. I told her it was simple, when we get to the hospital, you tell the nurse exactly who you want to be in the room for the birth and let the nurse be the bad guy to tell the mother in law. It works, but giving your mother in law an important job of watching your two other children should make her feel needed. Sounds like she's very insecure to put children down and you'll need to talk to her about it when your able to since your husband doesn't. But for your own sanity and your children's self esteem, don't wait too long. If your not strong enough then get a mediator that knows all of you to start the family meeting and do the talking to start things out.
2007-02-15 00:10:21 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My mother-in-law is saying that she will FORCE her way into the delivery room if I have her barred. So, my husband and I will do what they do ... wait several days AFTER a significant event to call and let them know what happened. If I ever have children, I am going to make it abundantly clear to her that I am only going to have my doctor, a nurse and my husband in the room because this is a very private, intimate moment for a couple and intrusions must be kept to a minimum.
This is your birth. You can do whatever it is you see fit for you and your significant other.
Congratulations!
2007-02-15 01:03:52 · answer #5 · answered by tamminator2000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would talk to her about this. Why she has to be mean. Was it something you done? ask her. Find out why. Its okay that you don't want her at the birth of your third child. You could say I want you here but only if your nice. If you start giving me any crap your out of this room. If your husband says anything then tell him well since you won't say something i am going to. Stand up for you and your children since your husband won't.
2007-02-14 23:27:51 · answer #6 · answered by alexia 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it isn't horrible, and you certainly are not a horrile person for wanting some space to enjoy the birth of yours and your husbands baby !!! She has no right expecting you to just acquiesce and allow her to have free run !!! There is no way on God's green earth I would let my mother be at the birth of any of my children let alone my monster in law !!! Stand your ground girl, just tell your husband to grow a spine and tell granny to stay at home and mind the kids. Goodness sakes, you are his wife, the mother of his children, chief cook and bottle washer, chief household billpayer,organiser, need I say more? Does he want his wife to be grumpy and miserable??? Cos just remind him that if you are to be disregarded as a priority in favor of his mother's wishes you might end up a bit grumpy and when mummy's are grumpy even a monkey in the zoo knows that everybody ends up grumpy !!!
PEACE & LOVE
......... : )
2007-02-14 23:02:35 · answer #7 · answered by Minx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's always good to try to get along with family if you can but if she is this way screw her!!!!!!!!!! The problem is she doesn't think your good enough for her little boy! You took him away from her and now your evil. He needs to grow a pair and take up for you and not act like a little puppy that's been scolded. He's probably an only child!
2007-02-15 00:19:04 · answer #8 · answered by john g 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I recommend you, your hubby and medical professionals only.
If she says any thing just tell her your Doctor said only your Hubby because as you know thing can be difficult at those times. I'm sure your Doctor would agree, you don't need the stress and neither does the Doctor.
Also tell your husband to grow a pair and tell his mom to back off.
2007-02-14 23:06:30 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she hasn't been good to your children so far, or you, why should you feel bad about telling her to get lost? I can really relate to you. I now speak my mind to my mother -in -law and she doesn't say a thing, at least not to my face.
2007-02-15 00:51:04 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋