I do not know what to do!!!! my son is 26 and is not doing his job.. tired of supporting him ... his mother and i divorced when he was 10 and i payed all of the child support... now i am still supporting him and tired of it..( you would not know how hard this is) anyway i am looking for a support group of people in same situation..
2007-02-14 14:45:47 · 11 answers · asked by mr39buick 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
first I have to ask is your son mentally competent?
if he isn't he needs a support group and training.
if he he is you don't need a support group you need affirmative action.
if he has no where to go put a tent up for him in your back yard or somewhere else. he needs to supply the rest.
your not helping him by taking on his responsibilities. you are enabling him to do nothing. and he won't learn to until it is put upon him to do so. I know this from experience.
when I was 15 my dad kicked me out he didn't kick my bother out till he was in his late 30's. today I own my own home, have a very good job, have 6 children and 13 grandchildren. my brother still can't keep a job, lives in his car, believes that everyone owes him what every he wants.
our children learn what they are taught.
2007-02-14 19:39:21 · answer #1 · answered by jbugg 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey that is a good question. I am going through the same thing with my 18 ur old daughter and my son is 17 soon to be 18. All they want to do is lay around and sleep eat and tear the house up and I'm tired of every weekend I have off cleaning house. They go out and smoke pot on a daily basis and will not life a hand or donate to the home. I am kicking them both out the day he turns 18. Then they can see what it is like to try to find food and clean clothes.
2007-02-15 01:55:25 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to man up, and be a father. You have done more than your duty here. I know that you feel guilty for splitting the family up, but the boy is 26 not 16. In a calm voice you should tell him that he has 30 days to get his act together because you are cutting him off financially, not emotionally.Tell him that you love him and that you are looking out for his best interest. You have to do this now or you will have a VERY LONG ROAD ahead. Good Luck and be firm and calm.
2007-02-14 14:56:38 · answer #3 · answered by Just Wondering 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HAHAHAHAHAH
sorry to say dad that this is the support group for you!!!
been there done that!!!
give our little bundle of joy an ultimatum and stick to it!!!
give Mr. lazy 3 months to get a job, save some money AND GET A PLACE!
he gets to keep all of his pay. at the end of the 3 months it is moving day money or no money!!!
actually have him start packing up way early say in 3 weeks time. once he knows you are serious he will get off his butt and do what he has to do.
BUT, IF YOU LET HIM SLIDE HE WILL BE A THORN ON YOUR COUCH FOREVER!!! AND YOU WILL DESERVE HIM THERE!!!
2007-02-14 14:55:33 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you aren't from now on too old- you've 20 more beneficial years to have yet another toddler! at present plenty is a danger! Having a baby isn't that tremendous a deal- i'm 30 and my husband is 40- he has a 10 twelve months old, and that i'm high-quality with that. in reality, extremely some the adult males you meet would have little ones of their personal, too. you opt for to leave- you understand you do. you opt for to be sturdy for your self and your son. If he harm the canine, it receives worse. go away. go away now. Take the youngster, record a restraining order, and do not watch for the subsequent episode. on the on the spot, the finest of your concerns must be searching yet another guy and having yet another toddler- you opt for to get into some counseling and make sure out the thanks to break the cycle of picking abusive adult males- in case you do not address the way you enable a guy manage you, you'll purely fall precise lower back right into a similar situation. pass examine up on thoughts of adult males who kill their better halves and children. extremely some adult males kill the youngsters purely to get lower back on the spouse- save your toddler and your self now previously it receives worse- you're permitting your self to stay in a doubtlessly deadly situation.
2016-11-28 03:47:37 · answer #5 · answered by dunworth 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand our children have moved back in and it is hard. Everyone tells us tough love but I dont want to throw them out. But maybe that's what we need to do, put our foot down! When we were growing up it was a different time. I joined the Army at 17 and was on my own. Our adult children need to grow up and fend for themselves, and we need to make them.
2007-02-14 14:50:48 · answer #6 · answered by chemky1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only support group you need is to tell him to smarten up and you are not going to be his meal ticket anymore.
Tough love is hard but it is the only way you will ever get him to grow up and realise that he himself is his own responsibility not yours.
The longer you support him the harder it will be.
2007-02-14 14:50:49 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes...i do know how hard it is..time to get tough. he will continue to let you care for him as long as he can get by with it...would't you? i would give him 1 month to come up with a job. and yes it is hard to go out on his own. he may need to find a room mate. and when he needs help take him grocery shopping. don't want him to starve. but again don't give money to him because he could spend as he wishes and then still come back with sob story.
2007-02-14 14:58:43 · answer #8 · answered by cindy p 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't need a support group, you need an eviction notice. Throw him out.
2007-02-14 14:48:57 · answer #9 · answered by nursesr4evr 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have somewhat the same situatinon. Let me know if you find one.
2007-02-14 14:49:10 · answer #10 · answered by David W 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋