I want to start a family, what's your opinion?

Question

Ok so I'll try to make this short. My hubby and I are happily married, successful and have talked about starting our family.
Well, we are trying but we don't want to tell anyone, our families are constantly asking and when we're going to have a baby, so we don't want to get anyone's hopes up...
So my in-laws are planning a cruise early next year. I told my husband that if we get pregnant there is no way I'm going on a cruise pregnant, or right after having a baby. I even agreed to pay the deposit to book the trip to avoid telling anyone we're trying! Knowing we're most likely going to cancel...
The issue is my hubby is actually planning on going on this cruise, I'm hoping we won't be able to.
Is seems like he cares more about the trip than the baby.
I just don't think he gets it

My issue is, my husband doesn't seem to be concerned that twelve months from now we may not have a baby or be pregnant. He's actually planning on going on this cruise...I;m planning on not going.

Thanks for the advice so far!
Just a note my husband and I have been on cruises before and are actually leaving for Vegas in a week, so we definelty get our kicks...and plan on doing so after baby...
My fear is that if we keep putting off for this vacation or that vacation then we'll never have kids! There will always be a reason to put it off....I'm not getting any younger over here! :-)

Answer 1

Maybe your husband is scared to become a dad, since it's his first time. So he doesn't really want to acknowledge that you guys might be pregnant/ and or have a baby. I guarantee that if you do become pregnant before the cruise, he will fall so in love with your little baby that he will probably cancel. And maybe he'll tell his parents that you guys will do something like that with them when the baby is a bit older. Try not to worry too much, if you're too stressed then you might not get pregnant right away, it may take a long time.

Answer 2

Hon, you may be over reacting a little...12 months is a long way off. I understand that the two of you are planning on having a child. Keep in mind, that once you have a child, life as you know it now will be over....You may not get to go on a cruise if you had a child because the child could be sick, or who knows what. Which is why you should get insurance with the booking in case you do have to cancel.....
I think your husband likes the idea of going on a cruise with his wife.. It may be the last big vacation without children and he wants to do it big!! Cruises are fun. I have been on 2. Royal Caribbean is the best. They treat you like royalty, where Carnival was just nice...I give Royal Caribbean cruise a 11, Carnival a 7.
He can't care more about the trip than the baby, because there is no baby yet! He is just planning ahead which is what you have to do to book a cruise...Don't just see this from your point of view. Have an open mind.....Now go pick out that small bathing suit.
Have fun on your cruise , then really love your baby when you have one..

Answer 3

I thnik men deal more with the "tangible' things than the "what ifs" To him the cruise is real..it's planned..you put down the cash...etc. A baby on the other hand is a dream...a hope..a maybe. Put the money down on the cruise as long as you can afford to lose it if you do get pregnant. This sounds like a win/win situation... you'll either be pregnant or on a cruise...how can you lose?! Trust me, if you DO get pregnant and he gets to feel that baby and hear that heartbeat it will make it tangible for him and he is not gonna give two hoots about acruis, and if you're not pregnant by then you will welcome the repreive of a nice cruise. You are a lucky gal with lots to look forward to!

Answer 4

Starting a family is a mutual decision between the couple. If you want a baby and your husband does't want yet then you have a problem . Its time you assess what you want to do in the relationship. There is no question in your intention for starting a family. I think you mean well but you should also have to let your husband be on the same level as you are to avoid resentment.Tell him how you feel but also learn to respect your husband decisions. If you can't meet halfway through this then its no use to stay if you don't have the same goal in life.Hope this helps!

Answer 5

Heck, the cruise sounds pretty darn good. And once you have a baby, it's hard to take trips like that. If it were me, I'd be tempted to wait another year before starting a family. But if you aren't going to wait, then don't worry about what your husband thinks or seems to be thinking. Just cross that bridge if you end up pregnant.

Good luck to you!

Answer 6

no longer a topic in case you have skill- i visit be an older ascertain besides- i'm 33 now and desire to have my first infant at 35. you've got money stored as much as pay for his or her practise besides- i think of that's a sturdy, sound selection.

Answer 7

It sounds like he's afraid to get his hopes up so he's making other plans. If you do get pregnant, you can always gift the tickets to a family member.