Why do men commit but choose not to fully commit by marrying you?

Question

My boyfriend and i have been together for nearly 3 years, we live together and have already tried to start a family i know that he is faithful but for some reason he will not marry me i am confused and hurt and every time i talk about it he get angry.i dont want to start a family without knowing that some day we will marry me

Answer 1

Ignore the advice about giving an ultimatum. He might give in and marry you bc he doesnt want to lose you right now. But in time (especially during the rocky times) he will come to resent you more.

He should marry you because he wants to, not bc he was pressured to do so.

First figure out if marriage is something you really want. If so, then talk to him openly and honestly. If you two dont want the same things, then you may have to part ways.

If he agrees to marry you, make sure it is really want he wants. If it seems like he is just giving in, dont accept him. Move on.

Answer 2

Conflict or anger itself does not have to cause an irreparable rift between partners. With good communication skills and a shared commitment to a marriage, even these are surmountable. How to save your marriage https://tr.im/72O9x

However, at that point where one partner is at the brink of abandoning the relationship, how can the remaining partner save their marriage? If you are at the point where your spouse has asked for a divorce, what can you do?

You must realize first that, you do have a choice. Often, when confronted by a crisis, we find ourselves backed into a corner thinking we have no choice in the matter. How can we change the situation when it involves another person's feelings or decisions? While we cannot, must not and in no way manipulate, blackmail or threaten our partner into changing their mind, we can actually control how we react to the situation. If anything, you must realize that you still have control over yourself. You have the opportunity to look inward and take responsibility for your own feelings and actions and even have the chance to take personal inventory of what your partner is trying to tell you. Are there points in your marriage that must be changed? If so, respond appropriately and proactively.

Answer 3

Ohhhh dear... you need to move on with your life.
Personally, I would not have moved in with a man without a ring and a date set. He has nothing to gain by marrying you because you already have given him everything. Time to move out and find a man who wants the same thing out of a relationship that you do. Don't think that if you have a child he will marry you. That will backfire and you will then be a single parent with lots of resentment for a man who told you that he does not want to marry you in the first place. Listen to what he is telling you by NOT marrying you.

Men want what they can't get... be hard to get.
They want the sizzle but not the steak !

Answer 4

I hate bringing politics into things like this, but the fact of the matter is, divorce laws and the anti-male culture in most 1st-world countries has made marriage a raw deal for men. This isn't going to change for some time. The best you can hope for in this culture is a man who is faithful, because marriage is largely a fool's choice now.

Answer 5

Absolutely don't start a family outside of marriage with this guy. You'll just end up having one more mouth to feed. This guy doesn't want to marry you. He wants to leave his options open. If you have a baby, it might just be the catalyst for him to leave. You deserve someone who thinks enough of you to commit his live and love and faithfulness to you; the ultimate gift of love. The guy you're with has made it clear that it won't be him. He's comfortable with things as they are--no obligation on his part and a willing bed partner and cook and housekeeper. What a deal! Value yourself more than that.

Answer 6

You stated you don't want to start a family without knowing that some day he will marry you, but you stated that you have already tried to start a family. You contradicted yourself.

Unless you are deeply religious or have certain beliefs, people can live happily without being married. They live their lives as a married couple would except no marriage certificate.

Answer 7

you really need to get him in the mode (not mood) of talking about this. let him know that on such and such date you want to meet at such and such restaurant and talk specifically about his ideas and feelings about the situation. it can be he has a second hidden life. it can be that he wants a special wedding and he don't have the funds for it now. it can be issues with his family or yours. If he's a good hearted man, like i am, then he'll open up and let you know if the time is right.

Answer 8

Get some "pre-marital" counseling. You are smart not to start a family without some type of commitment, even if it is just between the two of you.

Answer 9

I think he is afraid of marriage. Most people who are scared of thing get mad when they have to confront the thing. For example, if he has fear about the success of marriage, he feels insecure when you talk about it. So you better talk to him and let him know that this is not a very big thing. Or
Go and see a counselor who can help you with such issues.

Answer 10

as Eddie Murphy said, in a relationship that has no marriage at its goal is the woman is on lease with an option to be bought.

not willing to be married can be due to fear of being tied down, fear of the marriage not working out, not actually being serious of the relationship, etc.