I have been married to a great guy for 13 years, and we have a son. My family don't like him because he is not Cuban but American. He is a great husband and father, never cheated on me, works two jobs so that I can stay home to raise our son, so I choose my husband over my family. I haven't spoken to any relatives in a long time. I feel that I did the right thing, but my family hates me for it. So I will like to hear any opinions on these.
2007-02-14 12:58:33 · 38 answers · asked by M 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
It has been 9 years sense any of my family members talked to me, the only person I kept in contact with was my grandmother, and she liked my husband, but has other family members including my parents don't accept my family. They don't even know there grandson. I have called often but my calls are unanswered.
2007-02-21 13:06:59 · update #1
your family put you in that position so you chose. do not feel bad about that. you did the only thing anyone else could do if put in the same position.
2007-02-14 13:02:50 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is sad, but happens a lot in family. You did the right thing. The day you said "I do" you and your husband are a team. If the reason your family doesn't like your husband is because he is not Cuban that's a little silly. I am sure they would be insulted if people had an issue with them because they are Cuban. If in 13 years they have not come around sounds like they are more upset that you are living in the U.S. and they are considering you to live the rich life compared to how hard they need to work to have so little. Where your husband was born is old news to them I think that was the only excuse they could come up with not to like him. I would let it be and consider yourself lucky to have a great guy and your own family.
2007-02-22 01:17:46 · answer #2 · answered by Kat G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is absolutely nothing from what you stated showing that you made the wrong decision. There are a lot less fortunate women in you position and would love to have someone they have married support you and the children.
If you have a the time or money to try to make things work out, I would plan a family gathering nothing extravagant just like a family picnic and have a discussion with the ones that are putting you down. If things still are not working after this attempt I would move finally have to make a altering decision to be with my husband and son. After all he is making things right for you and your son. I wouldn't even stress behind it because they most likely will need you before you need them.
Good luck and God Bless.
2007-02-21 07:41:29 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is just old fashioned prejudice on the part of your family. You are making the right decision for your current family.
Your husband sounds like a wonderfully devoted man.
Are you sure they hate you? Sometimes you need to say to family I love you but I am not going to choose you over my husband. Look at how much they are loosing out on by not being a part of your son's life.
I hope you have a great relationship with your husbands mother and father and siblings if they exist. And if your family won't come around make sure your son learns to not be prejudiced. And you will win all the way around.
He will get married one day and you will then have choice. I say choose love.
2007-02-14 13:10:34 · answer #4 · answered by soleproprietor51 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You did the right thing, the bible says for a woman to leave her family and be with her husband. If your family is behaving this way it is their loss not yours. I don't think that your family hates you I think they think they can control you b y shutting you out and you would give in and leave your husband but they were wrong One day will come when they will know the huge mistake they made and what all they missed out on no knowing their grandchildren. You go girl you did the right thing and don't feel bad about it. Just learn from it and when it comes time for your children to marry remember what your family did to you and don't do that. I don't like my son in law very much but I love him because he loves my daughter and he gave me a granddaughter
2007-02-22 04:12:04 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I cannot believe that there are Families like you described yours, what do they gain by making your life miserable just because you choose to marry your Husband who is from another Race? my advice to you is to try and go on with your life, with your Husband and Son, do not let this incident ruin , your Marriage, in time your Family will realize the mistake they made when they decided that you wronged them and now you have to pay the consequences. I am not a very religious person but, I try to please God by the way I live my life, because when I die, I won't be able to say to the almighty that if I did something wrong during my lifetime it was because of so, and so's fault. We will respond for our own actions and this applies to your family as well. Where is the Love that supposedly we, as Parents have shown to our kids. If I had chosen to Marry someone that is not to the liking of my Family I would not give them the satisfaction as to tell me who to Marry because it was my future to begin with, and if they held that against me well, too bad, as long as God knows it was my life, and I was going to live it with someone that was going to make me Happy, I would not have had any second thoughts about it.
2007-02-22 11:58:03 · answer #6 · answered by a.vasquez7413@sbcglobal.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would your family hate you for being happy? What you need to do is cherish what you have. You have a wonderful husband who respects you and understands the value of family and the importance of a mother being with her child. I can only hope for a family like yours. I am a young adult and hope to have a similar family life in the future. I wish you would not think about what you don't have (the acceptance of you family), and focus on all of the blessings given to you (a wonderful husband, a healthy child, and the ability for even more). Do not let the views of your family affect your life with your new family. I hope your marriage only gets better and good luck in the future. Baci Baci!!
2007-02-14 14:17:08 · answer #7 · answered by Red 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with what's been said here. If in 13 years your husband has been a great guy and provider and father and your family hasn't seen that... well, it's their loss.
One thing you might want to consider though is keeping the lines of communication open because extended family is important too. This doesn't mean you have to listen if they disrespect your decision to be married but maybe update them occasionally on your family's life.
2007-02-14 13:33:30 · answer #8 · answered by Critter 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is good you chose your husband over your family. That probably makes your husband very appreciative of you. But very sad it has to be that way. I suggest that you make those who support you, your son, and your husband "honorary family" -- hold an "adoption party" and let them know that you appreciate them. Sometimes those who support you are closer than a family. And, keep praying that your estranged family will see the light and once again become family at some point.
2007-02-21 17:41:17 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your family judged your husband solely on the fact that he wasn't Cuban then you have definitely made the right decision. If you were to have them in your life they would only continue to disrespect him and they probably wouldn't accept your son either since he would be half American.
You made the right choice for you and your family...
2007-02-14 13:15:57 · answer #10 · answered by Cute But Evil 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look, your husband sounds like a wonderful man.
So what if your family does not like him, he has done well by you for 13 long years so you've choosen right.
Not every decision that you make in your life will be supported by those closest to you. Just be thankful for what you do have and try to reach out to your family every once in a while like send cards, presents, flowers on special occassions.
Maybe over time they may change and maybe not. Let everyone be who they are without judgement.
2007-02-21 01:43:06 · answer #11 · answered by singsong 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋