A question for "cutters"?

Question

This question is for people who cut themselves...please don't answer if you aren't a cutter. Thank you.

I have a friend that recently got put into an inpatient facility for cutting herself after getting upset. I know she's been through worse and hasn't cut herself in over a year until this little upset.

What I want to know is; what relief do you get from cutting? What are you thinking about prior to doing it that takes you to that level? When did you first start cutting? Did you start out with other forms of self-mutilation? (sorry, lots of questions here because I just want to understand what is going through her head when she does this) What things drive you to doing it? Do you ever do it just because? What is the catalyst? Do you believe the endorphins help alleviate emotional symptoms? Are you suicidal or do you think cutting can lead to something like that?

Can someone please tell me the dynamics behind this behavior?

Thank you.

Answer 1

I used to do it to distract myself after fights with my mom, about 11 months ago. Before that, I would pinch myself as punishment. I felt very awkward and self concious, and when I felt embarassed or hurt I would go to my room and just pinch and scratch the hell out of myself.

I felt as if I wasn't worth anything, and I might as well do it. Nobody would notice. I still have deep scars on my left forearm where I would carve away at the really soft skin in between the elbow and wrist.
I think the endorphins really did help me. Almost as soon as I began to bleed, all of my tension just melted away. I felt more in control and I would put on long sleeves and apologise to my mom. She didn't find out for a very long time, and when she did, she flipped.
Your friend probably feels really guilty and embarassed. Don't force yourself on her, but you should definitely be with her through this. My mother shamed me out of it, and I really think there are better ways.
Keep her cheerful, listen to her worries (even the little unimportant ones) and make certain she feels loved!

Answer 2

Wow...those are a lot of questions. It is a little different from person to person. I have only had one set-back in years, but I am tempted all the time.

I honestly don't recall the first time I ever cut. I remember the feeling, but not why I decided to do it. A lot of my friends did, so I probably just figured I'd give it a shot. What it was for me was a release. I turned this intangible pain into something real...I could see the damage, watch my blood run out of my body, and eventually, watch it heal. That is the biggest reason for me. Although, sometimes, when I feel I've done something horrible I will use it as "punishment"...atoning for my sins, or some such.

I don't feel that I am suicidal, even though I have attempted before. I was much younger at the taime, and now it's nothing I worry about. I have to struggle to not cut anymore...it's just too difficult to deal with all the emotional and mental issues, but physical pain? That can be overcome through willpower. I do, however, belive that cutting can go too far, depending on the person, the frequency, the situations, etc.

I have only done it "just because" once. And it didn't do much. The pain seems to only be a relief when it's needed.

I do have other methods to deal with things, but they are all self-destructive in some form. My boyfriend (also cutter) showed me a wonderful trick: take an ice pack and hold it against your bare skin. It hurts, it helps, but it leaves no permanent damage. Also, my smoking is self-destruction far more than addiction. Cutters tend to find other outlets as well...more "socially acceptable" ones. I can't exactly cut myself in a crowd, but I can step over to the side and light a ciggerette.

As for the thoughts in my head when I cut...it's very simple for me. I simply need to get it out of my head, and onto my body. I need to put it somewhere I can see it, touch it...I need that release. For some people, it's that simple. For some I've known, there's a lot of guilt involved, because we each somehow know it to be unacceptable. There is a lot of guilt, shame, and learning to hide it all.

Most people think it's an illness, or it's "emo"...it's an addiction. You find that feeling...and you need it again. I do believe the release of endorphins helps with that addiction. It's a rush.

I hope this wasn't too much, but still answered your question. Feel free to contact me for anything else.

Answer 3

When I used to cut i felt an enormous sense of relief; like the world had just left my shoulders. I never really thought about it before doing it, I just did it, but now that I haven't done it for months I'm starting to realize that I did it to regain a sense of control in my life when I felt that I had none. Many professionals suggest that it is similar to anorexia and bulimia, but they also say that it can't be treated the same way. An inpatient facility may just be the worst thing for your friend because she is losing even more control over her life. It could work for her if she feels that she needs to be there, but otherwise she is really going to need you as a friend. I don't know what kind of facility she's in, but is its one that allows contact with the outside world, I suggest that you visit her or email her as often as possible.

To answer your some of your other questions, cutting does create endorphins that help to alleviate emotional pain, and someone who cuts may feel suicidal, but its not always the case. Some people do do it just because, because it becomes a daily addiction that doesn't need an emotional trigger.

If you have any other more specific questions you can email me @: [e-mail]

good luck with your friend!

Answer 4

part 1 have you dropped a pop and opened it really fast. it goes very where. do the same thing but opened it slowly. that is the same when you cut u don't blow up on people. 2 how mad i am at people and then i cut.3 i start to cut after me and my mom got in a bad fight one night.4 no i did not do any other self-mutilation. 5 my past was a big part of it. 6 some time i do because i just board. 7 the thing that set me off is school and family most of them time. 8 i sorry no i have tried it and it do not help. 9 yes i have thought about but never done that i go and speech out about it . if you what to know email me

Answer 5

i feel a sense of control when i cut, makes me feel(somethimes) when i feel numb on the inside. i think about all the things that are building up pressure on me and how much i want it to stop. I started cutting a year ago, i was drinking and doing drugs at the time. Now it's an addiction, sometimes i just do it cause i feel i need to. i'm not suicidal, not all cutters are suicidal. some people just use it as a coping mechanism. but i've quit from today ! Hope everything goes well for your friend :D good luck x

Answer 6

This is in a past perspective; I stopped cutting around a year ago, I try not to do it anymore. Too much hiding, too many questions. Anyways.

The relief I got depended on why I cut. Sometimes it was to be able to be in control. Other times it was because I was extremely upset, to this day I hate having that weird implacable physical pain you get when you're really sad, and that centred it.

I started cutting in sixth grade; stopped cutting in eighth. In fifth grade I tried slapping my wrist with rubber bands or those hair elastics with the metal parts linking them together. [Yes, I started out young; I just had a really crappy childhood I don't want to get into.]

I was driven to cut because of some large amount of emotion, sometimes even if I was really happy because I just couldn't stand it. At my height I used to do it once per day and sometimes, yeah, it was just because. [I'm a bit of a blood/gore enthusiast also, so...] The endorphins certainly must induce some sort of high afterwards, it always felt kind of...light and somewhat better afterwards. At one point I was suicidal, but other times cutting was what kept me from suicide somehow.

It was always kind of mixed feelings; felt good while it was happening, hated it afterwards. It's kind of shameful, actually. I don't know how well I can explain the exact dynamics, it's kind of hard to explain what cutting is like to someone who hasn't cut. It was absolutely nothing like just accidentially getting hurt or anything like that; that kind of stuff was painful, cutting just wasn't.

PS. I don't really think you're going to get any responses from people who actually cut in the present, or at least people who do it seriously and aren't just attention whores. Hope I helped you understand your friend somehow.

Answer 7

I know you only wanted cutters here but I can answer some of these questions because my daughter was a cutter.What you refer to as a relief was actually what she describes as a way of removing the pain she felt or hurt ( emotions).She started around 13 years old when her mother and I got a divorce.When I found out what was happening she finally told me she was doing this so she could forget about us and to not feel the hurt.She told me she tried to burn herself once butt it was a lasting pain that caused more problems that cutting didn't.My daughter found out that my ex wife was cheating on me and over heard one of her phone calls to the man she was seeing.This was a very bad time for her because she knew it would hurt me if she told me so she chose to keep this a secret.During this time she was cutting and also tryed drugs for the first time.She was never suicidail or even talked about it but she did write some very dark poetry about her life and feelings.Reading them would give me the chills.I put her in counciling for many months to help but the hurt was to deep.She became addicted to drugs for about 3 years before I could intervine and get her the help she needed. She has been clean now for 18 months and I;m very proud of her for this.She has worked so hard trying to recover the life she lost.She has had a very hard time dealing with her mother and the things she did but they are working it out. My advice to you is if you know someone with this problem encourage them to talk to a parent or councilor as soon as possible.If they won't talk to anyone then be a friend and tell someone yourself.I know this would be very hard to do to a friend but watching this persons life unfold before you and not saying anything would be much worse.I could say more but I think you get the picture.Hope this helps in some small way.

Answer 8

1. it takes away emotional pain
2. im thinking **** the world i want to be gone
3. after beign raped by some one i loved
4. i over exserized to get away, but thats it
5. being overly depressed and not having anyone to pick you up, or you feel liek a burden to them (you only have yourself)
6. once you do it and see how much better it makes yiou feel you continue
7. friends help more than anything, so does food...i guess endorphins do a little because after exsersizing i will never cut.
8. it can lead to something liek at if you dont get help--not help form a professional or anything, just a friend who you can talk to about whats goign through your head...or whats up in your life
9. you seem liek a great friend, do all that you can to help her and good luck!!! :]

Answer 9

Some people use cutting as a means to cope with problems. they are trying to stop feeling lonely, angry, or hopeless. Some people who hurt themselves have low self-esteem, they may feel unloved by their family and/or friends, and they may have an eating disorder, an alcohol or drug problem, or may have been victims of abuse. people who cut themselves often keep their feelings “bottled up” inside and have a hard time letting their feelings show. Some people who hurt themselves say that feeling the pain provides a sense of relief from intense feelings. Cutting can relieve the tension from bottled up sadness or anxiety.they cut themselves in order to “feel.” Often people who hold back strong emotions can begin feeling numb, and cutting can be a way to cope with this because it causes them to feel something. About one in 100 people hurts himself or herself on purpose. More females hurt themselves than males. Teens usually hurt themselves by cutting with sharp objects.

Answer 10

I'm 19 and a cutter.When i frist started i was 12. i new nothing about it all i know is the knif was in my hand i cut my are up pritty bad and i was oly 12.What it feels like for me its that rush i get when i'm doing it i'm in pain so i cut. then i feel beter.it gets to the point where cutting youer self is the thing that matters most to you. i've lost meany friends over this that just dont get it.when i'm cutting myself i'm thinking of how much i hate myself.i dont like me. i dont like the way i look i've even cut on my face cus i hate me..Yes i think cutting can lead to becoming suicidal.At time i have just cut cus i was bored.All i can say is she i very lucky to have a friend that cares about her as much as you do..Good luck......