Why do I continue to wander in the mist?

Question

I love this guy ,but he's rude.he lies.I spend my life waiting for any tidbit he will throw my way and he dosen't deserve me.I feel like I have to be there for him. I'm not stupid I just can't seem to break the ties.Iv'e taken care of him for 9 yrs and then left to go have my life but when I feel i'm gonna be ok he's back on the phone or in someway connects.I would tell anyone get on with your life ,but I can't seem to see the forest for the trees.When he comes around he sweet then in a matter of minutes it's the same and then I have to start all over again.I feel like I have to take care of everyone but me?I'm a giver and always seem to find the takers of the world.

Answer 1

This is a classic case of emotional manipulation. Your friend more than likely has low self-esteem and when he is feeling down he calls you and acts sweet and nice to hang out with you.

By hanging out with you he boosts his self-esteem and then turns back into his normal rude self.

There are probably a couple reasons you keep falling for this ruse. People tend to only remember the good things about a person. You tend to forget your friend's rudeness and when he calls, you are ready to accept him again only to remember quickly why you guys didn't work out before. Another reason why this keeps happening is perhaps you aren't feeling good about yourself and it is easy to get back with this person in order to feel some self-worth. But this backfires since it always ends up in disappointment.

I would recommend forgetting about this guy and trying to find a new friend to spend time with. Funny thing is that as soon as you start blowing this guy off he will want to spend time with your more than ever. You can, in effect, manipulate him if you want. But, again, I would suggest breaking ties and moving on. Forget about him once and for all.

Answer 2

Only YOU can break the ties and you won't until you REALLY want to. I mean REALLY want to. It's like an addiction, and you have to treat it like one. I know these situations are hard, but you have to focus on yourself and what you deserve. Once you do, you will realize you can treat yourself better than he ever could. Also, don't be afraid to ask for help or get therapy. It is your choice to be a giver, so cut the bad habits and patterns and start giving to yourself!

Answer 3

Where is your self steen? Are you that desperate? Stop waiting for him, just move on don't you want someone to treat you better. You are a rescuer and he knows it. And he knows that you well be there at his beckon call. If your not stupid they why stay? You already invested 9yrs and you still don't get it. WOW are you wasting your time. Your not getting younger MOVE ON

Answer 4

when he calls hang up, when he approaches you go the other way. don't allow what you are calling "love" to interfere. if you can see all the things wrong and are not happy it is not love.
no offense meant, but what you are saying is a giver is what others are seeing as sucker. giving is great, but make sure the person is worthy of it.

Answer 5

You have close friends, right? And you have opinions about how their boys treat them? Doesn't it piss you off to see your friends being treated like crap?

Here's the rule: If the attitude you see from your boy, to you, would piss you off if it were happening to your friends, then it's not right for you.

Girls always think they can fix it. Don't be that girl.

Answer 6

You need to move on or he will keep coming back to ruin you

Answer 7

maybe you shoul dmove to a drier climate and there wont be any mist.

i think it would really help.

Answer 8

so techniqually ur giving him what he wants

be independant!!!

Ditch His Ars!

Answer 9

i dont get it

Answer 10

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