How do I make the decision? Who should it be? Tell me what you think is right! (please)?

Question

OK...my real father wasnt really apart of my life. He just paid child support. But there was never an emotional bond/relationship with him. But now that I am grown, we keep in touch (some what) and he has helped me with money here and there. And I am soon getting married and I am stuck with making the decision of who should walk me down the aisle. My uncle (whos been there for me all my life) or my real father? I would feel bad inviting my father to the wedding to sit in the audience, but at the same time, our relationship is not that strong. So what do you think? And if my uncle should walk with me, do I still invite my father? Let me know. Serious anwers and suggestions please!

Answer 1

I didn't have a real dad either, but if I was in your situation it would definitely have to be my uncle.
For me a father can be anyone who gets a woman pregnant,but a real dad is one who is always there when you need him. A real dad knows what you like and dislike. He would have been around on your first day of school; take you to your friend's birthday party; take you on a walk in the park. He would be the one to say to your new boyfriend "make sure she is home by 9:30 young man". Thats who a dad is. He is not just someone who gives you money now and again. A real dad should be your friend.

I f that is who your uncle is to you then let him walk you down that aisle girl.

You could also allow your father to join you along the journey down, but he should not be the one to give you over because he wasn't really a part of your life.

Hope I didn't sound bias

Answer 2

You should have the one who you feel has been there as a "father" to you. And it sounds like that would be your uncle. You can have your Uncle walk you down the aisle but when the minister asks who gives this girl away, than your mother and father can say "we do" Your father shouldnt feel left out, even if he does, he than can see how you felt when you were a child and when he left you out of his life. You should invite your father for sure, have him there part of this wonderful day. But he will know that he has made mistakes in the past so he wont be surprised when you ask your uncle to walk you instead.
You can have your dad apart of other things in the wedding like if he wants he can do a reading or speach, its up to you.
Congrads!

Answer 3

I'll admit I'm biased since my father died a few years ago and I would love to have him walk me down the aisle. As someone else said this would be a nice gesture if you are trying to establish a relationship with him now. If that's not the focus of your relationship with him right now by all means have your uncle walk you to your fiance. If you feel like it would an insult to either one of them either have them both walk you down the aisle or have them hand you off about midway--they did this at my stepsister's wedding and it was very sweet--so that whomever you want to give you away gets you to your groom. Good luck and I hope you have a wonderful day no matter what your decision is.

Answer 4

If your father wasn't there for you and never developed much of a relationship with you, I doubt he even expects you to ask him to walk you down the aisle. He probably knows already that you have other adult-male-father-figures in your life who have been more of a paternal influence than he has. I was in the same situation as you when I got married -- I was on amicable but distant terms with my father, and I was much closer to my stepfather. My father was just happy to be invited to the ceremony. We gave him the option of being a part of the procession (escorting his new wife down the aisle), and he declined - he was content to have a reserved seat near the front and take lots of pictures.

I hope this helps. Congrats and good luck!

Answer 5

Wow, that's really hard to make a decision. Talk with your Dad and mention you are planning a wedding in months. See what your dad's reaction. if possitive 90% you may choose your dad (real) . Ask yourself a question, if you didn't invite your dad to the wedding will be bothering you for a long time?
Can we break a tradition a little here , and invite both of them to walk you down?

Answer 6

Regardless of the strength of the bond, your father is your father. He should be the one to walk you down the aisle. If you're that concerned about it, though, walk yourself down the aisle alone. No one has to escort you.

Having your uncle walk you down the aisle would be a huge public statement of "My father isn't a REAL father. This man is a real father to me, that that other guy." Considering that your father would be right there, this would be a massively rude thing to do.

Answer 7

Instead of the uncle or the father, what about your mother walking you down, I know a woman who was not close to her father and was thinking about her brothers but in the end she had her mom do it

Answer 8

Well....walking the bride down the isle is serious and should be an honored task....one suggestion is have your uncle walk you down isle and still have the father/daughter dance with your dad. You can always go it alone walking down the isle and that way, save yourself some stress. Or, talk to both of them and get their view....they are older and may have good advice....

Answer 9

Why don't you have them both walk you down the aisle? You uncle, the one that's always been there, in the traditional spot on the left, and your dad on the right.

Answer 10

If you want the relationship with your father to grow and become closer, this would be a good gesture on your part to tell him so.
I think he'd be honored, and your uncle would not be offended.