how do i encourage my toddler to share?

Question

i have a 3 year old son who has just stated nursery. and an 18 month old daughter with down syndrome, recently he has started to become very aggro with her and has a tantrum if ieven go to put her on the floor to play with him. i know its jealousy and if anything he gets the lions share of the attention. he is never pushed out. but he has terrible tantrums over everything she picks up and has started carrying it on when he is playing with other children his own age. i know he is sometimes spoilt. and i am probably to blame. i would be interested if anyone out there has a gentle approach to these temper tantrums as i have tried time out and it just made him worse......aaargh i need a supernanny (lol)

to mary i have tried showing him that sharing is fun? why do some muppets just answer to get a few points grrrrrrr xx

Answer 1

Temper tantrums in a three year old are normal but, you don't want to encourage them, as long as he isn't hurting anyone or himself or damaging things I would ignore him, walk away.
Sharing is tough, i think it is funny how adults don't share half as much as they expect children to. One of my friends came over and sat her purse and phone on my coffee table and my three year old came over to investigate and she immediately said, no no that doesn't belong to you but, two minutes later became demanding when he didn't want to share a toy with her, it was amusing and frustrating. I think kids with siblings should be allowed to have at least a few items that they do not have to share and then some community toys that they have to take turns with. We use a timer and ALOT of praise.
Your son doesn't sound spoiled, he sounds like a typical first born who now has a sibling,....as long as he doesn't hurt your daughter, i don't think i would classify him as aggressive. If you do decide to give him a time out you need to follow through and be consistent otherwise, don't bother, you will be doing more harm than good.
I don't know what he is doing when he is having a tantrum but, if he isn't hurting anyone and you are at home, just move away from him. If you are out somewhere and can leave, then leave or buckle him into his car seat until he calms down and just wait them out. I think most moms of toddlers and preschoolers would sympathize and if they don't,.... they are really lucky and don't know it or they are in denial.
Try reading The Family Rules,...it isn't about the rules, it is about how to enforce them. It helped my family immensely.

Answer 2

Well athe best approach to tantrums is to ignore them. Supernanny would have you physically carry him kicking and screaming to the naughty spot and make him stay there which is hardly gentle though. I mean, once he learns he has to stay there it is, but . . . .

With my toddlers I don't use the term "share"--I use "take turns". Then I set a timer. This almost solves the problem; the kids soon learn that they will get the toy back and to themselves when the timer goes off.

Answer 3

Remove the toy he doesnt want to share. Ask him to give your daughter a toy and show her how it works or what to do or roll a ball to her. Ignore tantrums!!! When my 2 year old throws a fit we walk away and a minnute later so does he. Be firm but fair. Your doing a great job with your kids I am sure but there are plenty more ages and stages to get through. Chin up. Oh and catch him sharing or playing and tell him how great it is. We only catch kids doing bad stuff not the good stuff.

Answer 4

carry on with the time out thing. its hard, but eventually it'll work. n tell the nursery that ur doing time out so they can carry it on at nursery 2. y dnt u play wiv a fav toy of his, n when he throws a tantrum over it say 'i think it would be lovely if you shared this toy with mummy, its a really nice toy' just things like that, so he shares with u n it'll eventually lead on 2 him sharing with others. also get him n ur other daughter to try n play games together.

Answer 5

Try buy a pack of cool stickers that you can use to reward him immediately when he shares with someone. of course encourage that behaviour during play time and slowly he will get the drift.

Answer 6

i have worked in daycare settings for a lengthy time period, and that i studied toddler pschology plenty in college. (i'm a instructor now.) the placement you're describing is thoroughly regular. it is called being selfish. children pass through this section at this age, and imagine that each and every thing revolves round them, etc. it truly is a few thing that she will be able to ultimately outgrow, as she learns the language, and learns to communicate more beneficial. you could state trouble-free issues, to get her questioning about how her moves would harm the sentiments of others. children comprehend emotions at a gentle age, and she would commence to come back round. operating example, if she takes a toy from yet another toddler, pass over to her, and get down low on her factor, top-smart. Say, "Susie, once you took that toy from Katie, it fairly harm her emotions. are you able to spot that she's crying now? i recognize you don't love it even as human beings take issues from you." Repeating the be conscious "percentage" is likewise an excellent theory, so as that she learns what the be conscious fairly skill. notwithstanding, do not get disenchanted if she would not pay interest to you. until eventually she leaves her selfish section, she will be able to in all likelihood proceed to do issues her way.

Answer 7

Try to spend time whit the family so he dossent feel neglected and left out if this dossent work email me at [e-mail]

Answer 8

Reward him only in shares. For example, try "You can have a small chocolate bar if you give a piece to {BLANK} and {BLANK} too."

Answer 9

he ll learn in nursery dont worry.he has to with other kids...his teachers will help too

Answer 10

yea either call suppernanny or try showing them that sharing is fun!