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he is 18 now his mother has told him i was dead and i have know idea where to start

i have only just managed to find wheree he is living and know its going to be a shock to him but feel he has a right to know

or is there a website that gives advise on this sort of thing

thanks

2007-02-14 11:25:49 · 5 answers · asked by whereisiain 1 in Family & Relationships Family

5 answers

I think I would talk to someone else before doing this. I wouldn't trust answers from strangers on here because none of us are in your position. Talk to a counselor, pastor or a close friend about what to do in this situation. Someone who knows you and explain what led to the losing contact with your son then get advice from them on writing a letter.

2007-02-14 11:31:45 · answer #1 · answered by MI 6 · 0 0

first off, everyone has the right to know who they are and who their parents are. My mother won't tell me the name of my biological father and I have no idea what kind of medical history I have because of it.
Second, you should start your letter with Hello and his name. And just explain to him what had happened to you and his mother and why she explained to your son that your dead. I lived with that for 10 yrs. with my ex and my daughters. Its not fun.
Then put your address and phone # in the letter and tell him to FEEL FREE to contact you at any time. Besides working hrs. that is. BUt just be down to earth with him and let him know that you will tell him the truth about what ever he wants to know.
Good Luck.

2007-02-14 11:35:16 · answer #2 · answered by Deb 2 · 0 0

I think its good to let your son know- he deserves it. I mean if he lives in the same county- put it in the newspaper. like " I am looking for my son ______ ______ (first and last name) I know we have never met, but i would love to meet you. " and then ur phone number and/or e-mail address. whereever he lives, find out what newspaper is in his county and send a message under "personal/announcements" or if u know where he lives confront him with a letter in the mailbox or just go up to his house. thats what i would do.

2007-02-14 11:32:37 · answer #3 · answered by *Alicia* 2 · 0 0

Please tread very heavily with this one for the sake of all worried. because you recognize he has been informed you're lifeless I take that to advise he become no longer followed through the same old channels and per chance become added up through a relative or chum? it truly is organic you opt for to be in contact with him as in additional than a number of circumstances it truly is circumstances outwith a mum's administration that she has to resign her in to interest and be conscious the position you pass from there. Is he chuffed and has he been added up nicely? on the time besides the actual undeniable reality that no longer chuffed become giving him over to those human beings a more beneficial efficient answer for you than no longer understanding the position he become? also many different issues that you ought to have concept about your self. If i'm incorrect and it become all finished through an Adoption employer write a actual be conscious telling him why you ought to no longer save him on the time, the way you've felt over the years and would opt for to get in contact yet also assure him it isn't your purpose to split his recent kinfolk. The employer will recognize no matter if this can be surpassed on or if he has registered to make sure the position you're. If he's with someone you recognize precise a letter to to him/her/them first explaining your emotions and factors them the prospect to talk with him previously you're making contact or per chance you could manage a assembly to work out in case you could come to some contract previously he's informed. wish this helps besides the actual undeniable reality that i recognize now and again it will be a case of a grandmother stating a baby and the youngster continually believed his mum become his sister. in this style of situation it truly is a very close kinfolk situation and optimistically a range will be made it truly is perfect for the youngster. solid success

2016-11-28 03:11:10 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0 0

I would call your "League for Family Services" and ask them for help.
Good luck

2007-02-14 11:30:21 · answer #5 · answered by Nort 6 · 0 0

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