why is it that a guy can tell you he is in love with you, but he never pursues it? i had been going out with this guy for almost 6 months, and he told me he loved me. and i love him to don't get me worng. and 6 months later he asked me to marry him, and i said yes. so a few HOURS before the wedding he said he was having second thoughts about loving me. could someone please explain this to me? i don't understand.
2007-02-14 11:03:43 · 10 answers · asked by italiana 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I hope this helps. I think the best person for you to ask this question to is your boyfriend. There could be lots of reasons why he did this. But let me add this. Create an environment where he feels totally safe to open up to you. This will take work and may also take time. But if it is sincere on your part I think you will get to the truth. Know this also. If you take away that safe environment after you get your answer he may never open up to you like that again.
I've also talked to a few people (Not a lot) that I believe are in happy marriages. I asked them how did they know that they had found the right person. They all said "you just know". I feel quit often we don't trust our own voice inside witch is our truth. Instead we listen to what others tell us we should do. I think we need to learn to trust that voice within. Also I feel we will often find some of the qualities we want in a person and settle for that instead of waiting for someone that has all the qualities we want.
You are talking about a life long commitment. This is not something that should be rushed. This is not something that someone should be presured into. This is not something to be taken lightly.
If you realy love him (and I define the deepest love as willing to sacrifice for) create that safe environment, ask the question, and come up with the solution thats best for both of you. Don't bite his head off if his response is not the answer you're looking for. If you 2 are not ment for each other be thankful you found out before you got married. And if you both just need a little more time then take it. Remember this is a life long commitment.
I hope this helps.
2007-02-14 12:21:03 · answer #1 · answered by Just-My-Thoughts 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guys don't do love...PERIOD! He's just some punk trying to get in your pants and you should realize that. You kids are too young for this stuff anyway. All of you need to spend more time on your school work so you can get a good education and stop embarrassing yourselves.
You are so NOT ready for love.
2007-02-14 19:07:33 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The absolute shock and horror that he is committing himself to the supposed one person that he loves scared the living crap out of him. He can no longer "play the field". Let me ask you this. How old are you and are you sure your ready for marraige? Think (look before you leap). That is exactly what happened here.
2007-02-14 19:13:36 · answer #3 · answered by Francis P 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its called cold feet --- he is anxious and thinking now that he is going to be with you for the rest of his life and wonders if its the right thing to do --- its supposed to be normal and a product of all the hype and stress preparing for the wedding --- he still loves you --- best wishes to you both --- keep falling in love with each other
2007-02-14 19:08:53 · answer #4 · answered by trader1867 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cold feet, wether he stays the course or not will tell you the true measure of his commitment
2007-02-14 19:07:27 · answer #5 · answered by Roy M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If there are any doubts between either of you...don't get married. It's not the right choice, regrets are bad. It will make you miserable.
2007-02-14 19:07:11 · answer #6 · answered by Dragonfly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He just ad cold feet. Its not as unusual as you think?
2007-02-14 19:14:04 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont wanna lie to u, so here's the truth:
we say a lot of stuff that we dont mean
2007-02-14 19:14:37 · answer #8 · answered by SUPERMAN 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He got cold feet is all.
2007-02-14 19:08:36 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Um that a tough question,...let me get back to you on that!
2007-02-14 19:08:05 · answer #10 · answered by Boondocksaint 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋