How do handle a relationship with a woman that has been molested by her step father and is emotionally num?

Question

My current girlfriend seems to be emotionally num most of the time. All those little things that I might say or do don't mean much to her and she tells me that that’s just the way she is and talking to here friends and family it’s true. I've asked her about previous relationships and how the men treated her, and from what I know it’s been crappy. Things like if I asked her to call me when she gets home and 2 out of 10 times she may call when I ask, I feel like I shouldn't need to ask, but I do. I'm not trying to change her nor boss her around its only because I care and I've expressed this to her. I seem to be the one to talk about us on a personal level and were are we headed in our lives and is our relationship ok, or not ok and she says "its ok" when I ask her. She's very independent and has a six year old and we all get along great. Its just that now we don't see each other a lot and I know that communication is important knowing the fact that I'm about 25-30 minutes away from her and I can't get out there often. Am I to sensitive or am I being a $#@!&?

Answer 1

It's very difficult to deal with a person who is the victim of sexual abuse. If she hasn't addressed these issues fully in counseling she will continue to be very difficult to deal with in any relationship. Encourage her to seek counseling and deal with these issues and be there as her rock for moral support. Let her know that you are the one who will always be there for her. It will take time, to gain her trust, help her get the counseling she needs. it won't be an easy road for her or yourself, but will more than likely be worth it in the end.

Answer 2

When someone is victimized they're convinced that everyone is an enemy. You have to keep proving yourself over and over again. Just tell her to keep the lines of communication open because it's very important to you. If she hasn't already encourage her to get some help. Just be supportive and loving and in time she will cope better. It takes patience and hard work.